Sporting Troubles

Portrait of inventive customs-exchange for Western (American Homeland) cleats of sports-image fields and bases of simplified ethics-jersey.

An offbeat sports-culture fused American ethics worry fiction. Thanks so much for reading, 

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I was working at a special anthropology department at an educational arena in the West (American Homeland) when a special bright and somewhat attractive older peer/professor lady (Doc Shelton) began eyeing my '14 World Series trophy-image, an Alex Gordon colored sports (American baseball!) card of great value to the faces/citizenry of my Selfie/social-media fanfare commentary age.

My name's Amlan Satan, and I considered my Gordon-Royals trophy card of shiny colors and company a great American symbol of all things Selfie-like. It was perfect, and I knew Professor Shelton had the right-stuff female intuition to be eyeing my prize item, which I intended to use for a sports-anthropology marketing examination 'diorama' for students/peers interested in TV-modernism and social activity drawn Earthling activity for storytelling and history too (sure).

Shelton came on strong, and she now wanted to sleep with me and gift me the Gordon item which she knew was value-additive because of my academic re-presentation of it to scholarship circles and insisted she was an obsession-woman; I didn't know what to think, since I was simply and honestly somewhat attracted to her; and now I had the added-value worry of social media and Facebook-gossip photo culture (damn).

I gave her a zesty round of ball-park franks instead for 3 straight Saturdays I took her to a local American baseball game; and each time she licked her lips claiming it was the ideal sports-culture linked comfort-food snack-treat for relief and joy-consciousness (ha). However, she still wanted to sleep with me to procure the Gordon-Royals card, with/without the frank imagery.

SHELTON: Have you seen Disclosure, friend?
ME: I'm no friend...I can't just hand-over my Royals-treasure, doc.

SHELTON: You won't regret it, Mr. Satan (damn).

ME: I'd rather have that baseball-card than any adjective for incomplete-bureaucracy art.

SHELTON: It'd be good-luck for you, Mr. Satan (I've no doubt now).

ME: Look...I'm to this Milwaukee conference for pitchers-steroids jam, doc (ok?).

SHELTON: Trust me...life's leviathan/uncertainty (this is a leprechaun-wage for ya).

ME: If I consent to this, my fave-team will lose their Wild Card game (I can feel it!).

SHELTON: Damn you and your male-jewelry for bureaucracy's medicine, Mr. Satan.

ME: Thanx (farewell, lovely-lady, ha).

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)