Cote d'Ivoire Blood-Theoretical

Can continental detective-IQ yield vanity shield for a universe of vampire-thesauruses?

A vampire-mystery set in the wonderful Cote d'Ivoire, winner of the recent AFCON (world soccer) contest with Nigeria. Thanks for reading, 

DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction offers no ties to any person(s)/body and is purely a 'personal' expression for social art (for 'open' comment). 

----

====

Officer Amlan Satan moved from Algeria to the Ivory Coast (Cote d'Ivoire) and embraced his role as street-driving policeman with cool water-guns filled with acid for street-gossip show and prestige erections in the West African nation of much history/record/transit surfacing through politics 'troubles' and casting special cocoa-economy flowers for modern capitalist maps, but he was now on the trail of a vampire warlock who called himself Theory (Selfie-like).

POLICE CHIEF: You've got the Earthling-Selfie cleats of good responses for the Ivory Coast.

OFFICER SATAN: Thanx, chief (Selfie-like).

POLICE CHIEF: Theory's leviathan.

OFFICER SATAN: Selfie-like (surely).

THEORY: Damn that cop of Cote d'Ivoire who foils my chocolatier veils of Western Hell.

MINION: Well, chief...perchance your link to New England sullies with this Ivory Coast bank IQ?

THEORY: We could frame Satan for a heist of blood-gems, fool.

MINION: He's already doing some 'copycat' maneuver for eco-gossip in Abidjan, Theory.

THEORY: Theory's Facebook (sure).

While at a market on a special day of consumerism and good-spirits in Cote d'Ivoire, Satan (Amlan!) was chatting-away with the daughter of a wealthy chocolatier/investor (Aya) and decided he found the right-stuff photo-synthesis for capitalism-defense momentum...and marriage in the troubled Ivory Coast (hmmm).

AYA: Do you like A Beautiful Mind (Russell Crowe)?
SATAN: I prefer Blood Diamond (Leo DiCaprio).

AYA: That's lovely...father too.

SATAN: Good (Facebook-like).

THEORY: Let's mail this Abidjan damsel (Aya?) this rendition of Sleeping Beauty, fool!

MINION: Officer Satan has the Ivory Coast tone of Van Helsing, bad prince.

THEORY: I've got the mind to create a special Sharon Tate tone here/now (damn).

MINION: Selfie-like, sir?

AYA: There's bloody theoreticals in Ivory-Coast inferno, friend.
AMLAN: We'll swim-away with something more figurative, for Heaven, Aya.
AYA: Without money?
AMLAN: There's always fortune in the text of queens (islands).

Amlan/Aya shared a creamy rich dairy-cocoa cafe spike in Abidjan following Amlan's shooting of Theory in the face with his HCL-gun in an alley in Cote d'Ivoire, rendering the dark prince of fortune exploits as street-sullied for destroyer hands (wow). Suddenly, the Ivory Coast felt (once-more) like a cocoa-helmet and not a bloody-murder limit (for all).

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

====

"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)