Thief: A Whatchamacallit

Narrated retelling of the rationale/Romanticism of 'thief-life' for inventions in incomplete-bureaucracy arts football.

A thief autobiography (fiction) time-capsule. 

----

====

What makes me a thief? Is it my love of Artful Dodger (Charles Dickens novel character) or the crime-psyche values noir The Grifters (John Cusack)? Is it my fascination with the Selfie 'cleats' of Churchill Downs (horses/racing)? Is it my interest in the 'streets-insurance' language of pickpocket hand-axes for vampire-like intelligence in this fare-rich Blue-Planet of self-made theater for possession/treasure hyperbole (or fiction)? Maybe it's everything (surely).

I won't tell you my name. This is my retelling of my life-work as an immigrant from the streets of the East, hopped onto a boast sailed to the West (American Homeland), where I made my way into the college-landscape with my acumen for math-languages extractions for civilization geometry 'examination' interest intriguing the modern Western/American professor or educator of incomplete-distances readings to the 'leviathan' of fortune's calculations. I decided to leave school and become a diamond-thief, warping bank storages of gems around the States, for Selfie-citizenry.

READER (Cyber-Dartmouth): You're a fan of GTA! Bank Robbery?
ME: More poignant than SimCity or Grand Theft Auto, IMO, friend!

READER (Cyber-Dartmouth): Video-game nut, pal?

ME: Why not...Selfie-like (ok)?

BANK MANAGER: Guy was disguised as a new personnel security guard.

INTERVIEW: New securities company operations marketing 'salesman' for you.

BANK MANAGER: Wanted tour of bank vault, with our guardsman (Leo).

INTERVIEW: Had a toy water-gun inserted with thin-glass tube (filled with acid).

BANK MANAGER: Crawled out the bank restroom window after tying up Leo.

INTERVIEW: Covered the vault security-camera with toothpaste, wow.

BANK MANAGER: This guy's the real Robin Hood, IMO.
INTERVIEW: The vault had rumored 'blood-diamond' storage?

BANK MANAGER: We dislike smugglers insurance talk(s) for streets (ok).

Why'd I become a thief? Am I a fan of Pink Panther comics/media? What do you think? If you're not a skilled thief on Earth, you're no criminal, not a 'perfect' thief. If you're a skilled thief on Earth, well, then you're not mediocre and hence skilled/valuable (in-demand). Isn't that a hoot for treasure-islands nihilism? I became a thief to create incisions into the vaults of treasure holdings to create a new brand of 'theater' for possession/displacement(s) for the Ego. Maybe I just need a shrink (Selfie-like).

READER (Cyber-Dartmouth): This cartoon-vigilantism doodle's some Romanticism?

ME: Why not...Selfie-like (ok)?

READER (Cyber-Dartmouth): Fan of Batman, eh?

ME: Why not...Selfie-like (ok)?

I think of the leviathan of Earth, of Super Bowl TV-revenue culture and consumerism/capitalism 'consciousness' and I daydream of the cleats of civilization's lines of (actual) intelligence...as a thief! What do you think? Is there some sensible sanity in this world of terror/malady for an artistry of thievery-magic (for the Ego)? Maybe I just need a shrink (a psychiatrist).

WAITRESS: French onion (soup)?

ME: Thanx, Ezzy.

WAITRESS: You came in twice already (this week!).

ME: You noticed me staring.

WAITRESS: Want to sweep me away (somewhere?).

ME: Brussels (waffle-shop)...Jabberwocky.

WAITRESS: Cool.

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

====

"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)