Football's Detector-Set

Sports-culture yarn about affable detective-works 'chess-tied' to (American Homeland) football yielding expressions of 'human' helmets.

A bright sports-environment fable inspired by Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (Jim Carrey). Thanks for reading, 

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Mr. Amlan Satan had found the right-stuff Selfie/media culture detector-set intuitions for an Orange-State criminal-insanity detective case involving pursuit-chase of a deadly man with a claim to be kidnapping an iconic media-darling...a cheerleader.

ESMERELDA: I know nothing of the world of sports calendar girls, Satan.

AMLAN: Don't worry...I can hear dolphins whisper and shall obtain clues for IQ!

ESMERELDA: Maybe this guys like the Unabomber (terrorist).

AMLAN: You shan't be in graver danger relative to (any) sports-fashion imagery!

Well, this guy wasn't a typical terrorist but a self-made American psycho, and he sought a special incomplete bureaucracy reading for a message of anti-capitalist value, with the threat to this Orange-State 'cool' cheerleader girl, and Esmerelda was oddly pleased with his progress, as he found some funny clues, listening to dolphins, which led him to the inkling that the psycho was someone (once) 'chess-tied' to a football team/organization (Facebook-like!).

JOURNAL EXCEPT: "...me thinks this man has some worldly expression interest for the Orange-State football team/organization with the threatened cheerleader-girl media languages from his (past) investment in some 'field' goal memoir of bad apples...me thinks he was dumped by a cheerleader following exit from the team/organization (darn)."

ESMERELDA: Thanx, Satan.

AMLAN: Who'd have guessed the psycho would've turned up your training-field?

ESMERELDA: You did, Satan.

AMLAN: He was infiltrating as a fake-ID holding photo-journalist, Ezzy.

ESMERELDA: Damn...thanx, Satan (Selfie-like).

After cheering his micro-detective deed, in the Orange-State, Mr. Amlan Satan, 'ace-detective' with his detector-set storyboard, dashed to his fave Miami motel and sat in the lobby to reflect on what made American Homeland 'intelligence' a sit-down and doughnut even Houdini would think cool (ha).

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Irish potato?

AMLAN SATAN: Thanx, lady...zesty anticipation for this Dubliner photo-trip!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: I think some passenger's been stalking me, Mr. Satan.

AMLAN SATAN: Perchance I might have an Irish 'note' for bribery-for-ABCD, lady!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Very cool (thanx, Satan).

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)