The Indian Leprechaun

A wily gov't-operator from India takes the underground alias 'Leprechaun' to perform an unusual London Bank blood-diamond extraction!

A blood-diamond vignette about strange derailing. Enjoy! 

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The London Bank was about to be robbed.

The culprit is an Asian-Indian named Amlan who happens to be a blood-diamond infiltration-agent seeking to steal the gems belonging to a terrorism-financing baron who's storing his diamonds in London Bank, and Amlan's been scheming.

Amlan grew up appreciating Asian artworks reflective of Indian heritage and pride regarding the Revolution to free the nation from British rule in the 20th Century.

Amlan appreciates why this baron's terrorism-financing blood-diamonds in the London Bank may threaten underground relations between guerrilla (IRA) groups seeking private financing to forge strong talks between Sinn Fein and British Parliament regarding strained Catholic-Protestant relations/employment in Northern Ireland, and therefore Amlan considers this blood-diamond heist in London Bank a sort of 'leprechaun' mission to assist Sinn Fein negotiations!

Amlan walks into the lavish London Bank costumed as a theater-maudlin named Leprechaun, claiming he's part of a theater-program in London about a new group called Foreign IRA (F-IRA) seeking to cease all highways to terrorism-financing assisting ex-terrorists or rogue terrorists (e.g., ex-IRA), and the London Bank is quite nice when he walks into it, wielding a toy water-rifle.

Amlan as 'Leprechaun' walks up to the beautiful English bank-teller inside London Bank and claims he's a media-theater liaison of the baron's domain and has special permission just to take photos of the baron's unopened diamond safe-box, and the bank teller giggles and prompts a guardsman to escort the costumed showman inside the safe-box area of the bank.

LEPRECHAUN (Amlan): You see my costume and that my toy water-rifle is filled with acid!
GUARDSMAN: What exactly are your intentions here, Mr. Leprechaun.

LEPRECHAUN (Amlan): Just do jumping jacks in front of the single security-camera.

As the guardsman does jumping-jacks under compulsion after being instructed, Leprechaun (Amlan) proceeds to burn through the baron's blood-diamonds safe-box and switches his terrorism-financing gems with toy diamonds hidden in the soles of his shoes and walks out the bank and sneaks into the bathroom and crawls out the bank bathroom window.

GUARDSMAN: This 'maudlin' named Leprechaun seemed to be part of some bizarre media mock-heist theater with calamity!

The guardsman reports this, because Amlan had left the guardsman inside the rummaged safe-box with a handful of stolen bearer-bonds (worth over $2M), easily enough to cover any safe-box metal damage, leaving the guardsman thinking that Leprechaun (Amlan) was part of a 'prepaid' mock media-heist with Interpol-relations staged in preparation of some kind of capitalism program, and Leprechaun had already fled on the London metro.

LEPRECHAUN: I took the London Underground to a relay-station where I exchanged the diamonds for toy gems.

Now, we all know the IRA had performed various rallies in the UK about strained Catholic-Protestant relations in Northern Ireland, but this new terrorism-financing stigma linked to blood-diamond traffic in Europe was creating strange misrepresentations and bad reputations for various sectors of the modern IRA, worrying Sinn Fein gravely.

EX-IRA: Perhaps we might imagine a macro-urban implosion of British infrastructure as a retaliation against blood-diamonds!

LEPRECHAUN (Amlan): I'm currently reading a searing novel about the intrigue behind modern Irish Catholic diagonals!

Amlan posts a comic book stick-figure doodle depicting an IRA agent costumed as a vigilante to tackle an ex-terrorist maniac named 'Leatherface' on the Internet (Euro-Net), and it's considered a folklore parody!

SINN FEIN: Circulation of underground media may reflect some real worries that terrorism-financing's ruining talks.

AMLAN: I just used toy-gems for a blood-diamond substitution, so what's the big deal with leprechaun-dancing?

This is a tale of unusual anti-terrorism financing vigilante-work, performed by an unusual gov't-operator named Amlan, an Asian-Indian who went by the underground alias 'Leprechaun' to perform a diamond-switch reflective of some unusual civilization degradation.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)