Snowboarder/Thief

A Story by Abishai100

A wily Algerian-American snowboarder-thief is a 'James Bond' agent in Switzerland attempting a blood-diamond diary on Dr. No.

A special toast to adventure, espionage, and blood-diamonds. Snowboarding inspired this James Bond (Ian Fleming) stylized fanfiction about modern era politico-economic diagonals. Enjoy!

----

====

Amlan Satan is an Algerian-American snowboarder and diamond-thief working with CalTech and Interpol-relations to perform careful blood-diamond lifts of Euro-barons smuggling in these warlord-mined gems from Africa to fund terrorism. Amlan Satan (code-name: Shadow) was an Olympics-snowboarding hopeful but left sports to pursue a life of gov't-infiltration work and capitalism-diamond nexus dissection in Europe. Now, Satan (Amlan) is in Switzlerand.

SATAN (Amlan): Working at CalTech/Interpol-relations is like doing diamond-capitalism face-lifts with a lancet.

INTERPOL: Blood-diamond corruption comprises the greatest threat to modern capitalism-matrix integrity!

So now Satan (Amlan), aka 'Shadow', is in Switzerland to continue his ninja-work as a 'snowboarder/thief' to infiltrate the power-regime of the ruthless capitalism-baron known ominously and eerily as Dr. No, who's been smuggling blood-diamonds to create an underground terrorism-financing market detrimental to the global diamond exchange. Satan/Shadow is busy spending time at a Swiss ski-resort in the Alps, doing his marvelous and blinding snowboarding to get the attention of Dr. No's 'mistress-sirens' known as snow-demons who're always inspecting ski-resort snow-sports skills to recruit the right henchmen/assassins for Dr. No.

Satan meets one of these snow-demons and explains he's a snowboarder/thief, and they think he's joking or thinking he's some kind of James Bond character. However, he explains he's deeply immersed in metaphysical activity regarding the art of snow-surfing and mountain meditation and worships the Eastern deity Saraswati, goddess of learning/music. The snow-demon working for Dr. No is indeed impressed!

SNOW-DEMON: This guy's a wizard on the board, Dr. No, and ca assassinate politicians vacationing at the resort here.

DR. NO: It's quite a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Satan.

SATAN (Amlan): It's quite an impressive 'lair' you have here, Dr. No!

DR. NO: I specialize in diamonds from Antwerp and New Zealand --- interesting.

SATAN: Well, I admit I've studied diamond-matrix capitalism in California.

DR. NO: My snow-demons inform me you're an outstanding snowboarder, Satan.

SATAN: I can hold my own in the white powder of your glorious Alps, Dr. No!

DR. NO: Excellent; then you'll consider joining my empire as a mountain killer.

SATAN: I take it I'll be working alongside your lovely snow-demons, Dr. No?

DR. NO: As you can make-out from my visage, I never joke about politics, Mr. Satan.

Satan/Shadow is hired by Dr. No to kill a politician who'll be depositing blood-diamonds in a Swiss bank while visiting from France. Satan/Shadow will be working alone in the mission but will rendez-vous with one of No's snow-demons at the resort around the financial institution. Satan/Shadow goes to the bank disguised as a Saudi prince-investor with diamonds to store in the safe-box area of the bank's vault-room on the same day the French politician is arriving there to store blood-diamonds in the bank from France.

SNOW-DEMON: If you fail us, Satan --- we'll kill you.

Satan/Shadow remarks to the Swiss bank manager that his establishment is impeccable and shows off one of his sample toy Transformer guns to him, explaining he's to store diamonds in the safe-box area of the vault of the bank in preparation for a new toy-enterprise linked to Dr. No's businesses.

Satan/Shadow spots the French politician walking into the bank who when begins to open a new private account to deposit his special blood-diamonds in the safe-box area of the vault-room of the Swiss bank. Satan/Shadow introduces himself to the French politician as the Saudi prince-investor Ahmed and invites him to open a safe-box next to his and explains his relationship to the wealthy businessman Dr. No. The Frenchman is impressed, and the two are escorted together into the safe-box area of the bank. Satan/Shadow is still disguised as a Saudi prince-investor.

Once inside the safe-box area of the Swiss bank vault-room, Satan/Shadow reveals his Transformers toy-gun is filled with HCL acid and is capable of burning through any metal safe-box. He then grabs the manager and explains he's from Interpol and sent to steal Dr. No's blood-diamonds and seeks to use the French politician as a secret liaison and doesn't want any political interference during this diamond-interception mission for world diamond exchange governance! The manager is stunned but has no choice but to allow Satan/Shadow to burn through Dr. No's safe-box with his acid-gun and then switch the Euro-barons blood-diamonds with the ones the French politician has brought with him.

SATAN/SHADOW: Dr. No's not to see inside his safe-box until after one week and not one day before!

BANK MANAGER: I understand, sir.

Satan/Shadow then gives the frightened French politician his Swatch wrist-watch as an Interpol-communications device and orders him to flee Switzerland. When Satan/Shadow connects with one of Dr. No's snow-demons at the Swiss ski-resort following this blood-diamond heist, he tells her that the French politician has betrayed Dr. No and has fled the country!

DR. NO: You idiot!
SATAN/SHADOW: The man got away sir, and he had a concealed 'acid-gun' of some type.

DR. NO: Nevermind; you'll have the opportunity to make amends for me, Satan.

SATAN/SHADOW: I shall make preparations to fly out of Switzerland and confuse Interpol agents in France!
DR. NO: Good.

Satan/Shadow then travels to British Columbia and meets with an Interpol ally to confirm the entire snowboarding/thief operation in Switzerland involving the duped French politician and Dr. No's blood-diamonds and preparations are made to report a scandalous diamond-switch between Belgium and France connected to a corrupt Frenchman and Dr. No himself. Satan/Shadow retires to a hideout in Montreal where he blogs a snowboarding-paramilitary comic book on the Internet, warning his readers that blood-diamond terrorism has many ghouls coming out of the snow.