Pirate Diamonds*

A Story by Abishai100

Sparrow attempts a blood-diamond adventure in Los Angeles involving real pirate-dams!

A funny blood-diamond diorama involving 'old world pirates'....and new world doctors! Enjoy,

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In the sunny US city of Los Angeles, LA, or the City of Angels as it's called sometimes, there was a great modern-day diamond pirate named Sparrow who sought to steal some blood-diamonds or 'conflict diamonds' (mined by warlords in South Africa and financed by Euro-barons to fund terrorism in various places!) belonging to the Dutch capitalism baron named Kuyt. Sparrow wanted to turn LA into a nice news-story about the re-seizure of the global diamond market controlled greatly in this new era by these terrorists/warlords creating blood-diamond highways into North America through places like British Columbia! This is where our heist-tale begins, folks.

Sparrow's real name is unknown, but he was born in Algeria and was descended from real pirates from the Old World and moved to America to study at UCLA before traveling to Europe where he developed his skill at diamond theft. He stole over $40 million worth in blood-diamonds and helped underground Interpol-linked agents established sure connections to underground bank financing tracks linking to the barons financing terrorism regimes by warlords in South Africa!

SPARROW: Terrorism has been a problem plaguing the Earth for centuries, and my form of piracy is a folklore-cure!

Pirate-lore had become as iconic and popular and arguably as comic/celebrated as vampire-lore in human civilization. Pirates were found in great sea-tales of swashbuckling thief-adventurers looting gold ships belonging to the great old empires of Europe. Pirates were now long since gone, but modern-day thieves, real pirates (like our Sparrow!) nevertheless found unusual inspiration in these very unusual folk-tales about sea-faring thievery, the subject of many a recent big-budget Hollywood (USA) movie...starring the legendary Johnny Depp himself!

SPARROW: I've transformed myself to look and smell and feel like a real Old World pirate, for my work is dialogic!

The diamond holding bank Sparrow targeted was an LA bank. Sparrow had been working in the underground developing key software-hacking algorithms and software for Interpol-linked agents tracking blood-diamond computerized flow into North America. He was paid well for his work too, but his real passion was actual pirate-adventure, and this LA bank was as magnificent as it was dangerous, linked to the Dutch baron Kuyt in the proverbial 'City of Angels' in America!

The attractive and brilliant American bank-teller working at the LA bank on that glorious heist-day of Kuyt's diamonds was none other than Ms. Esmerelda Harris, longtime associate of some financing groups rumored to be connected or linked to Kuyt's diamond net. Sparrow didn't want to cause waves by creating panic or violence on the day he knew Ms. Harris was expected to be working at that LA bank, overseeing all the day's operations and customer-traffic!

SPARROW: I think I'll use water-gun for this Los Angeles heist of Kuyt's blood-diamond safe-box, but I'll fill the toy with acid!

Sparrow the real-life pirate took the glorious LA Metro to the bank area in the proverbial 'City of Angels' on that bright warm summer day for his diamond-heist of Kuyt's gems, thought to be smuggled in from either British Columbia or Belgium!

SPARROW: I love old-world paintings and comics depicting folkloric pirate-like heists of celebrated American banks!

Sparrow did walk into the LA bank that diamond-heist day with his symbolic 'acid-guns' but in fact the guns were not water-guns but customized liquid-nitrogen guns (LNGs), capable of instantly freezing any target/object it was fired at within seconds, creating great potential for crowd control, obviously. However, would our affable Algerian-American pirate (Sparrow!) use his LNGs to fire upon the guards or tellers or customers themselves? What a story!

SPARROW: I'm walking into this Los Angeles bank costumed as a theater-performer in a pirate-play about toy guns!

That's just what our friend did that day in LA. He explained to the manager he brought samples of his LA theater-group set's toy 'ice-guns' and diamonds from his theater company (fakes!), insisting he was a longtime Euro-associate of the baron Kuyt. The manager was surprised to see such a costumed marvel in their bank that day and asked Ms. Harris herself to service the theatrical visitor/patron who sought to deposit diamonds in a safe-box neighboring Kuyt's!

When Sparrow was escorted into the safe-box area of the basement vault-area of the LA bank by the guardsman and Ms. Harris, he requested to take some photos of Kuyt's blood-diamonds with his smartphone-camera, and while he was doing so, claiming the photos would be part of the Saturday night theater performance pre-play presentation, he switched Kuyt's blood-diamonds with the fakes he brought with him to store in his own safe-box. He did this while the guardsman and Ms. Harris were busy playing around with Sparrow's funny-looking 'ice-guns' he'd brought with him. After storing Kuyt's switched blood-diamonds in his own safe-box and fakes placed in Kuyt's, Sparrow walked out of the bank a rich new account-holder in Los Angeles!

Sparrow had a medical nurse the next week open his new safe-box and remove the (Kuyt) diamonds stored the week earlier (on heist-day!) in his own safe-box. She then gave him the diamonds and didn't ask the real-life pirate what he intended to do with these strange-looking exotic gems!

Sparrow then mailed a strange treasure-map copy, customized, to the baron Kuyt's accountants in Los Angeles, claiming that they'd be able to track and find his lifted blood-diamonds if they reported to Interpol-agencies that there was new African gem-traffic in North America. Kuyt's executives wondered honestly if this was all some kind of modern-day...dystopia!

SPARROW: I'll mail this homemade comic doodle to the Times, re-presenting diamond-heist couture in youthful design!

Sparrow used some of his discovered funds to purchase some authentic classical pirate comics, which he shared with the Times as a testament to his Robin Hood mission to bring back some 'old world diarism' to modern diamond-market detection!

It was soon known that a nefarious serial-killer in Los Angeles rose to prominence, a masked maniac calling himself 'Leatherface' who claimed that Sparrow as nothing more than a modern diamond dark-man!