Chicago CrimeWatch

A host of players intersect involving blood diamonds, a baron's minion, and University actors in a Chicago stage of great 'crime-dreams.'

A blood diamone heist 'adventure' referencing the American horror-film avatar. Leatherface , two calm all my otherwise politically-charged blood diamond short-stories, inspired of course by the provocative and important recent film Blood Diamond (Leo DiCaprio). Thanks so much for reading, 

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Chicago, the great Windy City, is the site of our tale of crime and desperados. The players are three thieves, a policewoman, a field-hockey player, a firemen, two Dianetics businessmen, and a pure criminal psycho. The intersecting tale involves a heist of blood diamonds belonging to a Chicago baron named Kuyt. Chicago is the Windy City, after all.

The protagonist is Isaac Satan, a professor at U-Chicago who wants to rob the baron Kuyt's blood diamonds from JP Morgan. The baron's blood diamonds are in safe-box #445 and connected to the warlord diamond trade stretching from South Africa to Europe. Isaac has arranged a trio of robbers, a team called Sparrow, to orchestrate this blood diamond heist to eliminate the underworld mystique of Kuyt who's personally apparently sullying the North American diamond market. Isaac is a nerdist and very focused for this Chicago adventure. He's even had experience working with the CIA and Interpol in blood diamond research in North America!

Isaac and his Sparrow robber team will walk into JP Morgan with a set of toy guns, water-guns, filled with corrosive HCL acid.

The Chicago policewoman tracking the slick thieves known as Sparrow is Officer Danica Patrick. She's aware of the blood diamond underworld intrigue and suspects a theft at JP Morgan is about to occur. She'll have to be quick, lest Isaac/Sparrow makes off with the baron's diamonds and creates underworld shifts completely independently of Interpol!

PATRICK: We don't want blood diamonds from South Africa in Chicago, but we don't condone Sparrow vigilantism either.

Sparrow team walks into the bank on the day of Kuyt's diamond heist and in disguises. They tell the manager they're from a local Toys stage theater group with water-guns and company gems to store in the safe-box area. When escorted inside the safe-box area by the manager and one guardsman, the Sparrow team reveal their water-guns are filled with corrosive acid. They explain they're working undercover for Interpol to switch Kuyt's safe-box blood diamonds with fake ones. They cut open his safe-box and put in their fake diamonds and instruct the manager to tell the media this switch was made to motivate Kuyt to investigate underworld infiltrations into his diamond trade in Chicago.

BANK MANAGER: We're sure this so-called Interpol team was some theatrical group with blood diamond work with Kuyt.

The JP Morgan bank in Chicago is quite a nice building. You have to be real sharp and world-wise to orchestrate this Interpol-veiled lift of the baron's blood diamonds from South Africa. Fortunately, Sparrow proved to be very professional indeed that day, keeping all involved parties calm and quiet!

Isaac has been dating a local women's field-hockey star who studied at U-Chicago and played for the Michigan Wolverines. This player is very attractive and athletic and is a media celebrity. So, Isaac intends to keep her out of this entire blood diamond South African ordeal in the Windy City!

GIRLFRIEND: I have no idea what Isaac is up to and just appreciate when he attends my field-hockey games in Chicago.

Isaac's girlfriend was featured in a special women's sports article (with models!) in the magazine Planet Hockey.

KUYT: I want this damned Sparrow team's heads and employed a masked maniac named Leatherface to stalk them!

It's been one year since the heist of Kuyt's blood diamonds from JP Morgan bank in Chicago. Isaac is older and is somewhat different in appearance, having lost some muscular build. He still teaches at U-Chicago, however.

One night, when Isaac is walking home to his parked car after a day's work at the University, Leatherface runs towards him with a buzzing chainsaw! Isaac realizes this is a minion sent by the evil blood diamond baron Kuyt. Isaac has some toy relics from one of his conferences about consumerism in his bag. One of these items is a box of marbles and the other is a small silver crossbow.

Isaac dumps the marbles by Leatherface's feet, forcing the maniac to have to steady himself and look away and downwards towards the ground to eye the marbles and attempt to sweep them away with gusto with his chainsaw. Isaac uses this distraction opportunity to shoot three arrows from his small crossbow into Leatherface's chest and neck. The maniac falls dead. Isaac immediately calls the police, Officer Patrick, on his handy-dandy iPhone!

Everything is going on as usual at the University, and Isaac and his girlfriend are relieved this entire blood diamond ordeal with the baron Kuyt seems to be behind them, leaving Isaac to continue teaching at the prestigious American university in peace.

Isaac's girlfriend takes the Chicago metro to commute everyday as she's now a women's field hockey coach at U-Chicago.

However, one Chicago fireman, Kurt, insists that Leatherface isn't the final minion sent/waved by the baron Kuyt and prepares to track Kuyt and his army of darkness in the Windy City!

At U-Chicago, two Dianetics businessmen, both celebrities, prepare a conference presentation of the academic impact of diamond market shifts caused by warlord activity in South Africa and how this matrix will affect capitalism attitudes and education for businesspeople in North America.

ISAAC: Leatherface is gone and dead, and the baron's tracked by chiefs and police, so I'll retire now with my girlfriend, grateful that this blood diamond hellmouth may at last be declined in the Windy City of Chicago. God bless America.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)