Iceman/Firestar: Kuala-Lumpur (Jewel of Dianetics)

A Story by Abishai100

A pair of modernists travel to Malaysia and are engaged in civilization daze.

This is a sign-off thievery parody inspired by Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. Thanks for reading (God bless),

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The Dianetics science-religion conference in LA was a regular activity for participants in the new millennium seeking to integrate metaphysics with lifestyle in the age of capitalism!

However, the new millennium was equally-fraught with the problem of anti-capitalism terrorism (i.e., 9/11)!

Two American school teachers, Cameron and Isaac, traveled to Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) together to investigate capitalism abroad and offer lessons on the cross-cultural education involved with the experience of commerce in a globalized Earth!

Cameron/Isaac studied at Dartmouth where they're both participants in the DTD social activity group or circle, and they'd learn much about the quality of socialization in America as commerce became a thing of home-convenience (e.g., Bloomberg TV).

ISAAC: Our house parties were supreme!

CAMERON: This was when college-football television was really exploding.

That's right, college-football TV is an American hallmark, and people around the States tuned into Saturday games between iconic schools with legendary athletes like the Hurricanes' Gino Torretta.

When Isaac/Cameron arrived in Kuala Lumpur, Isaac went to work as a jewel-thief. That's right folks, our one protagonist Isaac is actually a master-thief, and he's staging a heist of a diamond bag from a Malaysian jewelry store to send a message in the media about the role of Robin Hood in the modern world of serious anti-capitalism terrorism!

ISAAC: Kuala Lumpur is such a rich and colored city in the East, and it really often reminds me of the jewel of New York.

Malaysia was renowned for its hospitality and airline travel, offering services and comforts you'd want as a tourist in modern times.

Isaac walked into the Malaysian jewelry-store looking like a jihadist terrorist, folks. He's wielding a toy-gun filled with corrosive HCL acid. He tells the jewelers he demands they give him the bag with the $10 million diamonds from Antwerp, lest he spray many of the store's precious and showcased jewels/gems with his acid-gun. What choice do they have?

Isaac the Malaysian jewel-thief walks out of the store that day in Kuala Lumpur with the Antwerp diamonds .

As schools in Malaysia receive news of this master-thief in their city posed as some kind of Unabomber or terrorist, Isaac distributes messages on the Internet in Malaysia about the value of thievery as contrasted with ultra-violent terrorism directed at directly deflating the socialized optimism towards commerce and consumerism that serves as the foundation for many school-house lessons today about the role of modern civilization capitalism!

MALAYSIA POLICE: This jewel-thief won't be allowed to turn Robin Hood rhetoric into a video-game for propaganda!

However, Isaac and Cameron have returned to their beloved States already and have begun to teach in their old classes/rooms again. They take their students out on a field-trip to the Malibu Youth Racetrack and enjoy the thrill of competitive toy-car racing on the constructed mini-track. That's when Isaac tells Cameron he's the celebrity jewel-thief from Kuala Lumpur!

CAMERON: Why'd you steal those Antwerp diamonds, man?
ISAAC: I wanted to send a message about blood diamonds!
CAMERON: Blood diamonds?

ISAAC: Yeah, many warlord blood-diamonds traffic from South Africa to Belgium.

CAMERON: So what?
ISAAC: People need to understand the difference between romance and terrorism!

CAMERON: So you're using thievery as a platform for anti-terrorism dance, man?
ISAAC: Why not?

Isaac may be a real eccentric, but he has a point here, folks! His albeit showcased thievery nevertheless highlights an important trend in the romanticization of modern terrorism and could be contrasted with more old-world folklore regarding Robin Hood. After all, the blood diamonds trafficking from Antwerp to South Africa comprise a serious aspect of new era terrorism and warlord activity. Isaac designs some Iceman/Firestar comics online in the USA and compares Robin Hood folklore to the socialized phenomenon of lifestyle-based metaphysics societies or circles such as the Dianetics organization!

FBI: We doubt Robin Hood will solve the problem of anti-capitalism terrorism, Isaac.

ISAAC: You gotta admit that we need creative ways to curb the glorification of terrorism!

FBI: Yes, but your media-stunt in Kuala Lumpur may be construed as rebelliousness.

ISAAC: We need to send the message that terrorism is arising in new forms today.

FBI: Blood diamonds?
ISAAC: Indeed; we need recordings and testaments of the gravity of goods-degradation.

FBI: Blood diamonds?
ISAAC: Yes, sir; this is the age of Capitalism Paranoia!

Isaac tells Cameron he intends to create a mass Internet campaign celebrating Robin Hood as a 'propaganda-cure' to the problem of modern anti-capitalism terrorism (e.g., 9/11)! Cameron understands Isaac is a man of colors and pageantry and wishes to apply dastardly creative 'political archery' to take aim at the new era problem of political and commercial narcisissm and cynicism. The two love-birds decide to enjoy a symbolic and iconic Eastern film about the romance of nonviolent thieves in civilization.

ROBIN HOOD: Skilled archery/thievery is preferred to violent terrorism!
TERRORIST: It's all crime, man, but we represent the politics of crime.
ROBIN HOOD: There's nothing crude about thievery that generates folk-tales.
TERRORIST: Stories and tales of thieves are merely child's play, man.
ROBIN HOOD: No, terrorism directed directly at capitalism threatens romance!
TERRORIST: Are you suggesting we're merely minions of new world violence?
ROBIN HOOD: The reason there's no romance in terrorism, is because it's merciless!
TERRORIST: What's so human or spiritual about thievery, man?
ROBIN HOOD: Well, for one thing, it doesn't impress governance with violence.
TERRORIST: Well, many victims of thievery argue they're traumatized by treasure-loss.
ROBIN HOOD: True, but if they're unharmed, they're not scarred by political conspiracy!
TERRORIST: Are you proposing that terrorism justifies the 'art' of thievery?
ROBIN HOOD: No, but thievery provides us folk-stories less 'dangerous' than terrorism.
TERRORIST: As long as politics is complex, terrorism will be a reality!
ROBIN HOOD: Well, there'll always be Robin Hoods to challenge dogma about human dangers.
TERRORIST: When, governments rule people with consent, thieves and terrorists will sleep in peace.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)