Bloody Ears: A Charlie's Angels Spamedy

A Story by Abishai100

A desperate artist enlists the vigilante Charlie's Angels to catch a Manhattan maniac keeping ears of corpses of artists as 'destroyer' souvenirs!

Here's a much more fun horror-tale, a spamedy adapted fanfiction of the beloved American TV series, Charlie's Angels, featuring some nice democratic images/photos from the American matrix of diaries. Enjoy (signing off)!

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In Manhattan, an evil psycho rose to prominence. This guy called himself Doctor Dolittle and preyed upon the city's artists. However, he didn't just kill these poor artists. No sir, our Doctor Dolittle also kept the cut off ears of the dead bodies of his artist-victims as souvenirs, painting them and then mailing them to the NYPD! Doctor Doolittle quickly shed his evil lights upon Manhattan, forcing everyone in New York to think about the modern accessibility of bad imagination.

DOCTOR DOLITTLE: I believe my crusade to blaspheme artist-lives represents a new wrath in Manhattan!

Doctor Dolittle scared the hell out of just about every artist living in Manhattan! In fact, many worried artists began calling the NYPD and requesting security patrols near their lofts and apartment in the New York city. Doctor Dolittle had become something of a Unabomber in NY and made everyone wonder who'd have the spunk to catch the darn guy. He told The Post his crusade was all about 'blood ears' derision.

Finally, one artist had just had enough of all this Manhattan publicity and street-talk about the psycho Doctor Dolittle. He was insulted that the maniac had managed to catch the attention of The Post as well as NYPD. This artist decided to log onto the Internet and make an email-call to the underground vigilante team known as "Charlie's Angels" and hoped they'd catch the criminal.

ARTIST EMPLOYER (Pictured Above!): I like comics and art and worry about the maniac destroying us and need Charlie's help!

Charlie lived in a secret location right outside NYC. He sent his special trio of female ex-cops whom he called "Charlie's Angels" on special vigilante missions to stop dastardly 'super-villains' who were just beyond the reach and wits of the NYPD. Charlie's Angels had become somewhat famous among the people of New York, but it was difficult to contact Charlie himself, but this one artist had found a way to do so and entreated Charlie to derive a way to catch Doctor Dolittle. Charlie was oddly fascinated by the case itself!

CHARLIE: Alright, Angels, this artist needs our help, so it's your duty to stop this ear-cutting madman thinking he's a shaman.

ANGEL 1 (Natasha): She's skilled in kung-fu and forensics and may track Doctor Dolittle's trail of tears.

ANGEL 2 (Stephanie): This Angel knows computer hacking and may be able to discover the maniac's online identity!

ANGEL 3 (Lark): This Angel is not unfamiliar with horror-comics and believes Doctor Dolittle is a working horror-artist!

Charlie's Angels lured Doctor Dolittle to a Manhattan bank using an online spam-ad claiming that if the maniac showed up on St. Patrick's Day (Friday) and helped the three anonymous young beautiful women in rabbit-masks rob the bank of some corrupt diamonds stored there by a corrupt NYC fat-cat, they'd promise to give Doctor Dolittle their special painting of ears! Doctor Dolittle was tricked into thinking this dastardly treaty was some kind of enticing crime adventure and showed up at the bank in his own rabbit-mask!

DOCTOR DOLITTLE: I've been hoodwinked by Charlie's Angels and had shown up with my own horror-comics doodle art!

Charlie told The Post, "I owe everything to my vigilante Angels who managed to trap Doctor Dolittle and end his bloody reign of ear-cutting and murder of helpless artists living in Manhattan." Over time, Charlie's Angels would become a new hallmark of American crime-fighting, but to Charlie, his vigilante angels were simply angels of democracy.