Gold/Bonds: Banque de Montreal (HEIST)

A master-thief concocts a rather humorous theft of gold and bonds belonging to a very conscpicuously wealthy Saudi Arabian dollmaker named Abdul Abba-Din!

I'm departing with a very sardonic and humorous heist story involving gold and bonds owned by a fictional Arabian prince, being lifted by a master-thief posing as a Middle Eastern foreign investor! This was inspired by Ishtar. 

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The Bank of Montreal was holding a special treasure-chest of gold coins and bearer-bonds from Saudi Arabia, thanks to a generous private investment made by a Saudi Arabian prince named Abdul Abba-Din and his wife. This was a bank that was about to be robbed. The robbery was going to happen on October 30, 2020.

Now, the inside of the bank is quite immaculate. You want to just sit back and take photos with your handy-dandy iPhone. Steve Jobs of Apple Computers was said to bank here. It's really a perfect bank in modern times.

The gold and bearer-bonds from Saudi Arabia held in the secure vault-room of the bank was estimated to be worth over $50 million, but the master-thief planning the heist only wanted to lift half the amount, or $25 million, half in gold and half in those nifty bearer-bonds.

THIEF: "These Saudi Arabian bearer-bonds held in the vault-room of the Banque de Montreal are really worth the heist."

PRINCE: "I'm happy my gold and bonds are held securely at the Bank of Montreal, and my wife are happy to visit."

The vault-room is secured beyond belief. You'd have to be insane to try to open it with explosives unless you locked everyone inside the bank for a good amount of time with hostages and gave yourself enough time to do the job. That's why the theft would require something more convenient and quick, which is what our master-thief was planning now.

THIEF: "I'm going to drive to the bank in a stolen limo with a prostitute I'm hiring to portray my princess bride, while I portray a Saudi Arabian wealthy venture capitalist interested in Prince Abdul Abba-Din's gold and bearer-bonds, enough to inspect!"

This is the prostitute from Montreal the thief hired to pose as his Western-European girlfriend princess-bride he's taking to the bank to inspect the gold and bearer-bonds. Her name for the heist is Rhea.

The thief drives up to the bank in the limo after phoning ahead for a special greeting and escort service by the bank manager. The thief is in head-gear resembing Middle Eastern head-gear and claims it's his Coronavirus protective mask. He introduces his princess Rhea who's dressed in a very nice pink outfit and then asks if he can see the gold and bearer-bonds held in the vault-room by Prince Abdul Abba-Din. The bank manager regrets to inform him that no one has access but the Prince himself to look inside the treasure-chest, so the thief, posing as a wealthy Saudi Arabian venture capitalist asks for a general security inspection of the vault-room in the area where the safe-box/treasure-chest of the Prince is held. The bank manager agrees. Here's the photo of the limo the thief and 'Rhea' arrived in and plan to leave in after the heist.

THIEF: It's a wonderful vault, I can see.

MANAGER: It's delightful to have you and your princess in here with us now!

GUARD: Please take only necessary photos before departing.

THIEF: Alright, however, I possess this little plastic syringe filled with corrosive acid.

MANAGER: What?
GUARD: You're a thief!

THIEF: Don't make trouble, or I'll spray your feet with the acid and the safe-box lids.

MANAGER: What do you want?

GUARD: He obviously wants some of the Prince's gold and bearer-bonds!

THIEF: Just give me 1/2 of the $50 million and let me drive away with Rhea.

MANAGER: What if we refuse?
GUARD: You won't get away with this, you crook!

THIEF: Just watch me; do you want bad press about the Prince visited by an attempted thief?

MANAGER: No; just take the 1/2 amount then and we'll tell the press you were gracious.

GUARD: The cops will find you, you rotten snake.

THIEF: Thank you both for your sane cooperation today.

MANAGER: Where are you headed after you drive off in your limo today?
THIEF: The airport is where I'm going soon; after I do some underground banking; then somewhere.

MANAGER: They'll find you, you know.

THIEF: No; no one will care about a pirate and a prostitute flying to an island with Arabian compromises!

MANAGER: We'll see.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)