Mask: Coronavirus Bank Robbery

An eccentric robber in London during the great Coronavirus tribulation performs a heist involving a royal in the UK, sending waves about neo-dials.

Here's a more socially-conscious heist-fable involving UK Princess Kate Middleton during the great Coronavirus tribulation. This cheeky improbable tale about seeking hope in times of plague is really about finding social consciousness in times of great human danger and was inspired by the dystopian film A Fish Called Wanda starring Kevin Kline and Jamie Lee Curtis. Thanks so much (signing off), 

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UK Princess Kate Middleton was busy touring London prior to the great Coronavirus tribulation of 2019-2020, before the world came to real grips with the troubling fact that the COVID-19 virus was here to stay and would be as impactful and scarring arguably and perhaps as AIDS itself, compelling all of humanity to re-evaluate lifestyle standards and comfort-zones. Kate was walking around making diplomatic tours and in fashionable clothing to meet and greet the people of England. She was seen in summer and winter clothing. All was right with the world then, really.

ECONOMIST: "The greatest threat to globalization stability is anti-capitalism terrorism (e.g., 9/11); the greatest threat to normal traffic federalized banking in developed nations is new age bank robbery; we have to appreciate the weight and meaning behind both these new age anti-pedestrian phenomena."

When the Coronavirus quarantine tribulation began early in 2020, all people around the world were required to stay indoors and maintain strict social distancing standards. Schools were closed and all learning was done through online education. Businesses closed and Wall Street now functioned mostly online. When consumers and security wandered outside, everyone was required to be in protective masks to prevent the easy spread of the COVID-19 virus. If one were to visit, say a bank, they'd need to be in masks and expect to see the tellers and managers and guards inside the bank also in masks. This was the new reality on Earth, and it was stranger than global warming.

Meanwhile, the various strong banks in London continued to try to function to maintain the currency of global markets and capital investing. Wall Street and NASDAQ were likewise expected to maintain all reliability for expected standards during the Coronavirus quarantine tribulation. Along the London skyline at sunset, you saw the skyscrapers of major banks like HSBC with lit up office windows, with staff inside, all in Coronavirus protective masks, ensuring that online accounting and investing were up and running throughout the quarantine trials. Of course, the number of staff was reduced and outdoor work was minimized and made more efficient, so days of skyscrapers completely lit were a thing of memory.

Enter the bank robber in London named Isaac Satan! This guy's a real insane rebel. He doesn't want to poke fun at the Coronavirus tribulation. However, Isaac chose to add some spice to the Coronavirus quarantine tribulation. He wanted to do something in the media/press involving UK Princess Kate. he wanted to perform some media-spotlighted bank heist involving Kate Middleton for some Coronavirus message involving both hope and entertainment. Yes sir, this guy was a real eccentric, but is this what the world wanted during the quarantine trial?

Kate Middleton was in a Coronavirus mask visiting a major bank in London for a special diplomatic media visit regarding online investment functionalism in the UK during the European quarantine experience. Masked robber Isaac Satan knew this and decided to visit the bank on that day with a revolutionary and bizarre plan to hijack this diplomatic visit by Princess Kate at this immaculate English bank during the quarantine tribulation. This was either going to be something informative or something very unusual and bizarre. You be the judge!

People walked into the bank as usual but now in Coronavirus masks mostly. You can't get into certain areas or past specific checkpoints inside this London bank without wearing a protective Coronavirus mask. That's the rule. Isaac knew this. Princess Kate knew this. Both were in masks and face-covering gear, but for very different reasons, but both were under this new Coronavirus mask-quarantine regime in Europe and everywhere else in the world.

Isaac had a plastic water-gun in his pocket and presented it to the guards at the checkpoint, claiming it was a gun belonging to his young son and that he had no intention to play around with it inside the bank. The guards cleared Isaac and since he was in protective head-covering gear, they assumed he was just a consumer looking to open a new account that day when Kate Middleton was visiting. The guards made sure there was no bottom cartridge inside Isaac's toy-gun containing real bullets. Isaac made it past the checkpoint with his plastic toy gun.

Meanwhile, Kate was inside in front of TV cameras and wearing a Coronavirus mask and talking about shipping and commercial transit standards for all banks including this immense London bank during the quarantine. She was commending all the laborers who continued to go to work to ensure that European and UK capitalism was still running. She was standing by a buch of shipping boxes near the storage area when Isaac found her and approached her stealthily.

The teller servicing Isaac who claimed to be opening a new personal account was also in a Coronavirus mask. He began opening his account with some fake ID materials when Isaac got up and told her that he wanted to just walk around the immaculate bank as a Coronavirus tourist while she scanned his account application procedures. She agreed to let him wander while she continued to work with his account requests. She had no idea she was servicing a new age Dillinger.

Isaac pulled out his plastic toy gun and grabbed Kate and revealed to the shocked guards and crowd and cameras that the gun he wielded contained a special internal concealed tube containing very corrosive HCL acid. He gave a demo and shot the gun into the bank floor, revealing that the acid burned right through layers of the marble floor. Isaac kept Princess Kate as a hostage and requested to be taken to the vault of the bank. The people were helpless and did what he commanded, and Kate and the guards cooperated completely as everyone proceeded towards the London bank vault!

Isaac then told everyone he was going to the bathroom with Kate as a hostage to count his money and that the guards had to wait outside. When inside the bathroom, he forced Kate to crawl out the 1st floor window and out the rear of the bank building and towards the Hummer escape-vehicle Isaac had parked outside, a stolen and repainted vehicle. He drove Kate to Buckingham Palace and dropped her off and thanked her for this awesome Coronavirus heist cooperation. She was completely unharmed but completely confused as to the real motivations of this very eccentric Coronavirus-time bank robber in modern-day London. She did manage to snap a quick photo of Isaac's Hummer with her handy-dandy iPhone.

As Isaac fled the scene and drove to Heathrow Airport after transferring his stolen money into a private Swiss online banking account, Scotland Yard police trailed him, having been sent a photo of Isaac's escape Hummer vehicle on Princess Kate's handy-dandy iPhone. Isaac Satan was arrested before he was able to board his Aer Lingus flight to Dublin, Ireland. He claimed he donated all his money to an underground black-market unknown criminal who promised to donate all the money to a charity group.

Isaac spent 10 years in prison, because he didn't actually hurt anyone. However, he'd maanged to transfer his stolen money into his private Swiss bank account during the heist experience with Princess Kate 10 years earlier and now withdrew the money from the account made under a fake ID and fled to the Virigin Islands to live in a small island hut for the remainder of his days and write journal entries about the Coronavirus tribulation. Every now and then, Isaac made anonymous philanthropic charitable monetary donations to Coronavirus children's aid groups in Europe. Meanwhile, Princess Kate had been talking about the dangers of marketing violence-themed plastic toy guns to youth in the modern age of extremely graphic movies and video-games, since she remembered the horrible plastic toy gun filled with HCL acid that robber Isaac Satan brought to the London heist that day 10 years ago. This was oddly a very dystopian story!

AMERICAN PRESIDENT: "The challenge of the United States is to serve as commercial and trend-setting 'Big Brother' of the modern world, encouraging creative forms of commerce dialogue and consumerism vitality and ensuring that standards and customs of business and lifestyle do not interfere with humanity's overall sense of decency during any kind of dystopian tribulation, such as the landmark Coronavirus disaster of 2020."

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)

Reviews

[Kari Rakitan]

It's interesting how views on Corona are shifting the deeper we get into the pandemic.

I hope that skyscrapers get converted to low-income housing soon. So many of the jobs people used to go into the office for can be done from home. There is no reason to pollute the environment by commuting to certain jobs. My mom used to go into the office for her job, but then her company started letting her work from home, and they gradually let her spend more days per week working from home. Working from home allowed her to spend more time with her family instead of sitting on the train, which was faster than sitting in traffic. By 2009, she started working 100% from home.

In my opinion, other companies are behind the times. Coronavirus has forced many companies to let people work from home, and this is a wonderful thing for the environment as well as giving people more time to spend with their families. Again, the empty offices should be converted into low-income apartments for people in need. It will solve our homeless problem easily.

I definitely miss my friends and lovers, but I got some exciting news this morning. My friends are holding an online open mic party, and we'll all get a chance to sing a song. My husband and I are practicing "Bushes of Love" for the occasion: https://youtu.be/RySHDUU2juM
I know it's a weird song, but it speaks to us for some reason, and it's a great duet!

The toy guns were a great touch! Keep on writing