Catalone Diamonds: A Mafia Heist*

A Story by Abishai100

Two American men decide to infiltrate the powerful Catalone mafia family to steal some of their valuable Antwerp diamonds and dilute their dark power!

Alright, since these heist fables are working out so beautifully for me, and I'm having too much fun writing them, I thought I'd offer up one last one, and this one is a more culturally-conscious Americana story about mafia intrigue and modern dread.

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The Catalone family in New York had become something like the movie depicted families in Scorsese films about the modern mafia. The Catalone family had developed serious trade highways in the industries of gaming, online gaming, and of course, diamonds. The Catalone family was involved in a minor legal case involving the execution of African-American cops in New York but were exonerated. This was a typical American mafia story.

CATALONE: "We've earned the right to flourish in America, because we simply seek a normal and healthy life in this great country through diligence and organized enterprise and challenge officials to find why we're considered a scar on the face of immigration folklore, since as we believe, we're simply part of the great American diorama."

Well, two thieves wanted to steal diamonds from the Catalone family. These two young men were a movie actor in Hollywood named Tom Hale and an Internet comic book writer named Isaac Satan. What would possess Tom and Isaac to try to steal diamonds from one of the lavish estate mansions of the Catalone family? As Tom and Isaac told themselves, "Someone should humble this great American mafia family with an untraceable diamond heist in this new millennium, man!"

Tom and Isaac had no special skills regarding thievery or piracy. In fact, they were considered straight-edge civilians with normal patriotic jobs in the proverbial 'real' world. However, Tom and Isaac were best friends and like brothers and wanted to create a fantastic mafia adventure with an orchestrated heist of their diamonds. The Catalone mafia family was rumored to be holding anywhere from $4 million to $20 million worth in diamonds (from Antwerp) in one of their estate mansions on any given weekend. Tom and Isaac now considered themselves like Batman and Robin. Would they succeed?

TOM: Let's plan and train for this mafia-heist with two regular bank heists.

ISAAC: No, let's do three regular bank heists; two separately and one together!

TOM: What's the point of this training exercise, Isaac?

ISAAC: We'll put on our game-faces so we're not shrieking when dealing inside the Catalone mansion, Tom.

TOM: Cool, let's do it, brother.

ISAAC: I knew you'd see it my way!

Tom and Isaac received an invitation to the Catalone mansion in upstate New York, where there were artificial palm trees planted and a lavish water fountain outside in the front entrance. The house was something truly fantastic. Tom and Isaac managed to get invited after meeting one of the Catalone sons at a popular mafia hangout in NYC called the Pelican. They told this Catalone son that they were journalists writing about drug money flowing from Columbia to British Columbia in the new millennium and hoped they'd meet the right mafia friends in New York to get some insider notes for their book. The two cunning thieves came across as clever metro-boys and obtained an invite to the Catalone estate.

Inside the mansion, there were major Catalone family mafia princes and hitmen and their women drinking and watching television. The Coronavirus tribulation had passed, and everything was back up to pace in the USA. Tom and Isaac entreated some of these mafia big-types to games of blackjack and poker and impressed them seriously with their skills. These mafia estate insiders conversed with Tom and Isaac about their drug money book and how they learned much about American capital from the NYU library. The Catalone hosts were rather impressed with these two young American men and came across as surprisingly hospitable and even cheerful!

The poker and blackjack and drinking continued late into the night until finally the Catalone insiders in the estate began talking romantically while drunk about how the diamonds from Antwerp in their current estate were perfectly legal and secured and safe from any drug money chatter and hence would not find their way into Tom and Isaac's provocative new book! Tom and Isaac managed to discover where their diamond safe room was, and one of the drunken sons told the two thieves the code to the safe and promised he'd show them the diamonds after the card-playing had ended. The heist was on its way now.

TOM: We did it, brother!

ISAAC: Everyone was asleep, and Antonio opened the safe and showed us the diamonds.

TOM: We got, what $10 million worth in diamonds from the Catalone estate?

ISAAC: Yeah, and all we had to do was spike Antonio's drink while he was boasting.

TOM: Where did you find those replacement fake diamonds to substitute into the safe?

ISAAC: I got them from an underground source in preparation for the estate heist, Tom.

TOM: Awesome; now, let's help my video-game developer friend design a mafia-robbery game.

ISAAC: That sounds like a deliciously perfect cover for what actually has transpired, my friend.

The new mafia-robbery video-game Tom and Isaac helped the game designers develop became an American smash in the underground market and in online underground gaming communities. One of the Catalone sons who played on these games even complimented Tom and Isaac, having received firsthand exposure to the mafia world at the Catalone estate earlier. Tom and Isaac had carried a concealed self-assembling silver-silencer handgun which was hidden in the liner of their car which was parked outside the Catalone estate, but they never had to use it. Now, they even had a video-game cover to hide their involvement with the diamond heist. The Catalones had ironically still not detected that the diamonds they were still housing in their estate safe were substituted cheaper stones Tom and Isaac switched during the heist that night!

ISAAC: "I decided to take my portion of the diamond money and flee to the Virgin Islands and open a tourist bar called the Pelican Brief which greets all kinds of travelers, including some mafia fellows vacationing there, but I'm really out of the loop in that sense, since I never actually wrote that drug money mafia book with Tom but instead chose to become a ghost in the world of traffic and tourism dance."

Ironically, the underground lore that the Catalones were robbed of valuable diamonds from one of their own estate properties was enough to dilute some of their deadly mystique on the East Coast, though they remained one of the most powerful modern mafia families America had ever or most likely would ever see. Tom Hale continued to make Hollywood (USA) movies and is currently filming a Sofia Coppola movie about mafia in comic books starring the great Leo DiCaprio titled American Deathstroke.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)