Qantas Diamond-Heist: Isaac's Day

A master-thief orchestrates a diamond-heist from Sydney Airport after befriending some personnel at the Qantas airline company transporting the stones to Antwerp!

Here's one more heist-tale, and it's a diamond heist tale, which is most exciting, since diamonds are not only a girl's best friend, but they also remind us why gems and glassy shiny stones are so representative of human Dianetics! Thanks so much for reading (and enjoy!), 

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In the autumn of 2024, a large shipment of diamonds was being transported from Antwerp (Belgium) to Sydney (Australia) on Qantas airlines. The diamond were valued to be worth over $40 million and would be delivered to the Antwerp Diamond Centre. A jewel thief named Isaac Satan got the inside-information about this secret diamond transport and decided to steal the diamonds while the Qantas plane was parked in the hangar of the Sydney Airport.

ISAAC SATAN: "What makes jewel heists to fancy and fun is that these glowing special gems are very attractive to behold and extremely easy to transport and sell in the market for profit without dealing with the problems of laundering or serious detection evasion, and the diamond heist is especially cool, since diamonds remind us why we human beings are fascinated by shiny stones, especially those that have a nice geometric glassy appearance, so I approach this Qantas diamond heist with a special spiritual elation, seeking to perfect my skills as a jovial jewel thief in this new millennium."

As the Qantas airplane sat in the hangar of the Sydney airport, holding its vault of diamonds to be delivered to the Antwerp Diamond Center, valued at over $40 million, the master-thief Isaac Satan was busy orchestrating his airport diamond heist. Isaac decided to get a job at the Sydney airport as a grounds-keeper and janitor and befriended a Qantas stewardess named Elsa three months prior to the hangar storage of the Qantas diamonds at the Sydney airport in 2024. Isaac became known as an affable and reliable employee of the airport, and Elsa became his close Qantas company buddy, chatting with him often at the airport when she was there. They even dated for one week! While the Qantas plane was sitting in the Sydney airport hangar, Isaac told Elsa to drive him to the actual plane on the airport grounds.

ELSA: Why do you want me to take you to the Qantas plane, Isaac?

ISAAC: Trust me, I've brought my new Polaroid instant-camera.

ELSA: You want photos of the secret diamond plane, Isaac?

ISAAC: Yeah, one of the airport employees told me of the exciting 'diamond' plane last week!

ELSA: Oh, well, I've known about it for about one month now, Isaac.

ISAAC: Great, so I have some time off from my airport duties, so drive me out to the hangar plane.

ELSA: I'm not sure this is safe, Isaac.

ISAAC: Relax, dear, we're both company employees, and all I'm doing is taking photos of the plane itself.

ELSA: Alright, Isaac.

When Elsa the unknowing stewardess drove Isaac to the Qantas plane hangar, Isaac began snapping away photos of the plane with his handy-dandy Polaroid instant-camera. He took about 20 photos and then told Elsa to drive back to the airport and deliver the instantly printed photos from his Polaroid to his buddy clerk at the Qantas terminal and station named Stan Lee. Elsa asked him why Isaac wanted her to do this while he remained at the Qantas hangar beside the 'diamond' plane. Isaac explained he just wanted to stand out there next to the awesome airplane and would just walk back to the airport. Elsa smiled and did what she was asked.

Isaac then walked into the hangar and began chatting with the Qantas service personnel guarding the 'diamond' plane. He told the personnel that he'd just told a Qantas stewardess to deliver some Polaroids of the diamond plane to his Qantas terminal co-employee at the airport. The photos would be an airport employee record of the exciting event they'd record in a special memory-album they were putting together. The personnel began cheering and smiling at this jovial news, since only airport personnel knew of this secret diamond transport. Isaac then pulled out a big hidden flask of whiskey and asked the personnel if they wanted to celebrate by drinking with him. They laughed and accepted the kind offer, not knowing that the whiskey was spiked. About half an hour later, all the drinkers fell unconscious except Isaac who drank from his own miniature unspiked whiskey flask. Isaac then boarded the Qantas plane and cracked open the diamond vault using a special laser-decoder he stole from an Australian engineering lab. Isaac took the diamonds and replaced them with fake diamonds he brought with him and then walked to back to the airport to enjoy a cheeseburger at the McDonald's food station.

ISAAC: "This diamond heist was great. No one knew the diamonds were stolen until about 4 months after the actual heist I performed on the grounds of the Sydney airport that day. They discovered the heist when they discovered the diamonds in the transported miniature vault were fake. They didn't know where to track the fake substitution, and no one suspected foul-play at the airport where I infiltrated the Qantas hangar airplane, since the security personnel simply thought they'd drank too much strongly mixed whiskey and didn't suspect me or my Qantas stewardess friend Elsa of any foul-play or involvement and didn't want to spread any communication regarding their drinking of whiskey on the job. I retired from the airport job after we completed our special 'diamond' plane memory album with my airport employee pals and fled to the Virgin Islands with the money I exchanged in the underground market for the stolen diamonds earlier."

In fact, Qantas was not blamed or cited in any way for this mess, and the company was even praised for attempting to simply transport the diamonds successfully and without serious hitch. The journalists dismissed the quite odd case as a possible confusion or criminal activity stemming all the way back to somewhere where the diamonds were originally procured and mined and then cut and then originally stored or something of that nature! Qantas executives simply apologized for the criminal tragedy of this otherwise exciting airline transport event. Isaac had pulled off a small media dance.

ANTWERP DIAMOND CENTRE: "While we're dismayed by this mysterious criminal event, we're sure that such confusion will not color the future of diamond transport from major world centers or sully our reputation as first-rate gem directory."

ELSA: I hear you've opened a fancy island bar in the Virgin Islands, Isaac!

ISAAC: Wow, how'd you find my phone-number, dear?

ELSA: Your airport buddy Stan Lee gave it to me!

ISAAC: Well, come visit me at my bar, the Pelican Brief, darling!

ELSA: How'd you find the money to open such a popular island dive, Isaac?
ISAAC: I used the money from the diamonds I stole from the Qantas hangar that day.

ELSA: What the hell are you talking about?
ISAAC: Just kidding, dear; I had a private angel investor help me out.

ELSA: Cool; well, maybe I will visit you at the Pelican Brief, darling.

ISAAC: Stay safe, dear, and God bless.

Isaac had pulled of a great escape and no one cared in the end what happened to the diamonds which were insured in any case. The heist proved Isaac was indeed a master-thief and he did indeed use his stolen exchanged underground diamond market money to finance and manage his popular island bar the Pelican Brief. Isaac married Elsa but never told her about the heist. He kept a Bible in his villa room, and he'd often read passages about the prophetic wanderer who ends up finding divinity amidst all kinds of worldly dangers.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)

Reviews

[Kari Rakitan]

Were they still dating when this heist went down, or was this after they broke up? One week seems like a very short time to date someone. I have trouble imagining remaining friends with someone after just one week of dating . . . and then they got married later? I mean, anything is possible, but it seems like a very unusual situation. I think more character development would help to illustrate their relationship dynamics better.

Most women I talk to won't date a guy they have previously dated. Personally, I take people on a case-by-case basis, but then again, I'm what most people would call a "free spirit." We know so little about Elsa's personality here, so if I assume she's representative of the average woman, things don't quite add up.