The Pink Panther

A Story by Abishai100

The headstrong Inspector Clouseau is on the trail of a master-thief who intends to create great pageantry with his crafted heists of rather valuable gems in modern-day Europe!

Alright, since my heist stories are the most fun to me, I'll sign off with this worldly nod to the Pink Panther movie franchise. I personally think the originals with Peter Sellers are equal to the new caddy remakes starring the great Steve Martin, so I hope you find this fable farewell very delicious! Thanks for reading,

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Inspector Clouseau ('IC') was on the trail of the most dastardly criminal Europe had ever seen, a master jewel thief who went by the unusual alias the Pink Panther. This elusive thief was thought to be a male and perhaps a rather adventurous member of the aristocracy who liked to pass time by planning elaborate heists of very expensive emeralds, gems, and diamonds. According to Scotland Yard, the now-notorious Pink Panther had lifted over $30 million worth in expensive jewels and stones. The elusive Pink Panther always left behind at the scene of his crimes a signature pair of white silk gloves with a glittering P printed on it, to signify the skill of his theft. Inspector Clouseau ('IC') knew the Pink Panther was perhaps scheming to steal a very expensive diamond ring from the royal palace of Prince William and Princess Kate in London.

IC: "I have no doubt whatsoever that this dastardly thief known as the Pink Panther is set to steal the coveted ring of the beautiful English royal couple from their London royal palace before retiring, just to send the message across Europe that civilization imagination is filled with fancy and subversive ideas about stealing from the rich, which is why I intend to apprehend this evildoer in the name of modern law."

Well, as it stood, the thief now known as the Pink Panther actually chose not to try to steal the expensive diamond ring from the royal palace in London and instead chose a gorgeous shiny red ruby estimated to be worth over $2 million, since it was excavated from an ancient empire by Western archaeologists. Inspector Clouseau ('IC') believed the true intention of the wily Pink Panther was to advertise a valuable gem with this publicized heist to draw attention away from the young English royal couple who were being too castes in the media as television darlings. IC therefore believed to intercede on this heist of the million-dollar red ruby would finally nail the master-thief known as the Pink Panther as nothing more than a crime bedazzler.

PINK PANTHER ('PP'): "I really doubt that Inspector Clouseau has the necessary acumen to determine the ideal police course-of-action that can deter me from my excellent heists of incredible gems which I perform with great metaphysical care to perhaps celebrate the modern idea that news in civilization can in fact be a splendid thing of unusual crafted diarism, and therefore, I'll perform this one last orchestrated heist to create some exciting democratic news!"

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)