Queen Lilandra: The Time of Artful Dodger

The wily young pickpocket Artful Dodger travels through time and meets the fascist Queen Lilandra who schemes to turn Earth into a vampire-dune in the year 2090.

Artful Dodger and 

Lilandra Neramani are two vastly different folk-literature characters, one from Dickens and the other from Marvel Comics. However, they both share a strange interest in mob psychology and knack for addressing it, which is why I thought it'd be terrific to pair the two in this short yarn about time-travel, governance, and of course, Christian design! Thanks for reading,

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Artful Dodger had worked as a swift and reliable pickpocket for the cunning orphan-gypsymaster Fagin, stealing money on the streets of London and recruiting and training other young boys for Fagin to do the same. Artful Dodger had developed a keen sense of street-smarts and became known to Fagin as a young man of great shrewdness and resourcefulness, which is why Dodger would ultimately someday keep charge of a very special orphan Fagin sought to corrupt. However, now, Artful Dodger had to depart from his guardian-like stance and travel to another time and forget about his current position as a stylish and wily young boy-man of the street.

You see, Artful Dodger met a strange wizard in the alleys of London named Merlin who claimed he had a device capable of transporting an individual through periods of time itself. The device was a red painted communication-device terminal simply called the phone-booth. You walked inside the phone booth and dialed the year of destination and were instantly teleported to that exact year. Artful Dodger walked into Merlin's time-travel phone-booth and traveled to the year 2090 and landed in America where a mutant super-queen named Lilandra Neramani was using magic metals to create a legion of blood-sucking vampires to reign over the planet with a fist of iron and a heart of fascist obsession. Artful Dodger decided to confront Queen Lilandra personally to inquire of her intentionality!

DODGER: I plan to return to London in my own time soon.
LILANDRA: Why're you here in the year 2090 then, Dodger?
DODGER: I'm curious about your vampire dominion, Queen Lilandra!
LILANDRA: You seem skeptical about my philosophy of governance.
DODGER: I worry that vampirism is a heresy against the blood of Christ.
LILANDRA: Christians drink blood just as vampires do, Dodger!
DODGER: Yes, but it's a reversal of fortune; a Christian drinks symbolically in humility.
LILANDRA: Vampires engage in vanity for the sake of vitality, young man.
DODGER: I care nothing for your views on power or prestige, but I worry about legacy.
LILANDRA: Legacy?
DODGER: Yes, the legacy of vampirism can only be cannibalism, Queen Lilandra!
LILANDRA: So, you're a devout Christian advocate of the lamb and denounce the lion.
DODGER: I'm sure there are times when lions are led to lambs, but I fear cannibalism!
LILANDRA: Lion rule is simply a flagship for war, and war is complex, and it's necessary.
DODGER: Your method of vampirism and blood-reign will deform the fabric of the universe.
LILANDA: You're quite keen about the imaginative customs of social behaviors.
DODGER: I grew up learning about behavior on the streets of old London, Lilandra!
LILANDRA: I see; well, return to your time and place in peace and forget these matters.
DODGER: You must promise me you'll consider what I noted about the danger of heresy.
LILANDRA: I'll take note of the special value of vampirism roads as you suggested.
DODGER: I'm shocked you're rather open-minded about my street-views on Christianity!
LILANDRA: Let's say that like you I too am somewhat learned in the ways of humble education.
DODGER: I see; well, I'll go to my Merlin phone-booth now and return to my time in London.
LILANDRA: Tell your gypsymaster Fagin about me, Artful Dodger.
DODGER: Of course I will, Queen Lilandra Neramani.
LILANDRA: Good.

Artful Dodger returned to his time in London in Merlin's phone-booth and reported to the wizard of his strange and wondrous account of a futuristic Earth challenged by the vampiric schemes of the mastermind-queen Lilandra! Both Merlin and Fagin remarked that Artful Dodger, whether or not his actual adventure was real or completely delusional, had learned a rather valuable insight regarding the nature of governance intrigue and the strangeness it can breed in rulers and characters! Artful Dodger was simply grateful to be on the streets in his own time again, learning about mob psychology from the simple and convenient, and perhaps more Christian, act of delicious pickpocketing!

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