Bloody Abyss: The Vampire Exception*

Narrator Isaac describes the rationalism behind his odd Santa Clara mission to hunt down and scare away the dummy power of modern vampires.

Here's vampire fable inspired by The Lost Boys. Signing off,

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The world seemed normal, but it wasn't. It seemed like a world of capital and news and traffic and pirates only, but it wasn't. It seemed like a world fraught by global ambition and terrorism only, but it wasn't. It seemed like a world merely complicated by anti-cosmopolitan witchcraft, but it wasn't.

My name's Isaac. I moved from Algeria to California in the late 1990s and settled down there to manage a small comic book store in Santa Clara. However, I soon discovered my town was infested by blood-sucking vampires, led by a head-vampire named Sinister who had ties to the White House. I discovered vampires were controlling the entire planet and working out of chic America, and the only defense was to create an ornamented citadel. I became a cool vampire-hunter.

I used to sell comic books about various subjects, mostly patriotism and terrorism and focusing on problems regarding Israel-Palestine and Northern Ireland. I was dating a beautiful redhead Irish California girl, until she fled my company when she discovered my obsession with vampires. I started storing vampire comic books in my store, so consumers would enter and feel like there was a pop-culture voice to a supernatural interest in vampire influence in the modern world. My girlfriend left me, and that was my greatest loss in my mission!

SINISTER: I control a dominion of mighty and nefarious blood-suckers all around the globe, and our goal and duty is to create magnificent castles of ultimate darkness and recruit youngsters and adults alike with a taste for power and bloody murder; since the modern world is all about the presence of abominations, I will only pass by a worthy citadel of design to spare and otherwise seek to convert the entire species into one giant purgatory of vampire daddies!

As a vampire-hunter, I have to chase the head-vampire Sinister and my weapons are varied and include garlic and crosses and of course water-guns filled with holy-water. I shoot vampires with my guns and tell them they're being drowned in the message of liquified meditation! This seems to make them shrink back to their caves of hell. My water-guns have become as precious to me as have my senses of complete anti-vampire duty. I hope you understand I myself hope I'm not becoming a vampire from all this danger and darkness.

I drive a vintage black automobile and park it in Santa Clara while I go shopping by day, and I watch to see no ruffians who are actually vampires are vandalizing my car for their master Sinister. This world is really over-run by these bloody murderers, so I have to ensure American sanity by creating rings and perimeters of patrols. My black car is sacred to me, and I don't want a vampire to steal it.

I met a beautiful Indian woman, a princess named Mena incidenatally, who loves wearing classic sarees with little mirror-glass pieces fitted onto them as ornaments. Mena thinks these mirror-charms ward off evil spirits, and I agree that if a rough vampire would admire her saree fitted with these little mirror-pieces, they might think that their vampire eyes are somehow becoming more soft and confused by all the tiny defracting and distracting shine! I'm falling in love with Mena.

When I confront Sinister one day, I'll tell him, "I might not be the ultimate conscious warrior of Earth intelligence, but I do know that constructing a mighty and defensive citadel for anti-vampire wits simply requires a good dose of dialogue, and someday, you'll be defeated by your own designed vanity!"

If I marry Mena, I won't disclose my vampire obsession to her and chase her away with angst. However, I'll hang a decorated saber in our shared home to honor my vigilance about modernized Christian values and classical values regarding American life and customs and culture! I hope Mena thinks I'm not drowning in my own sense of divine piracy.

SINISTER: When I catch this elusive vampire-hunter named Isaac, I'll drink his blood and use his skeleton as a trophy to remind me that someday I'll have more money than God!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)