Teacher Romance*

Isaac Satan and Shelbye Collins are the fresh new teachers at a bright Colorado schoolhouse entertaining a warm bond, but they're also Batman/Catwoman pursuing the diseased Mad Hatter!

OK, I'm signing off with another Batman fan-fiction, an adaptive schoolhouse-romance between Batman and Catwoman, with new/original characters introduced with familiar visages! Thanks for reading (signing off),

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Shelbye Collins was the new teacher on the school-on-a-hill in Colorado, where the esteemed Reverend Isaac Satan taught. There were rumors that Isaac was actually the masked American super-vigilante known as Batman, but no one had proof of this. Batman was responsible for the apprehension of the venomous American super-maniac Scarecrow who was the culprit behind the poisoning of Gotham City's water reservoir during the Coronavirus quarantine of 2020. The new teacher Shelbye Collins wanted to add some folklore lessons about crime and law to the schoolhouse where the esteemed Reverend Satan taught lessons about the adaptation of American law for modern pluralism problems such as immigration-related hate-crimes. Shelbye Collins was herself Algerian-Irish.

ISAAC: I've taught at the Colorado schoolhouse for 3 years, and it's my great thrill that we're receiving a respected Harvard graduate, Shelbye Collins, as a new staff teacher, since we're excited about our new engaged and descriptive and rigorous curriculum about American law, and maybe Ms. Collins will add some fresh air to the schoolhouse and maybe even reduce those pesky rumors that I'm actually Batman!

The truth was that Isaac Satan was actually indeed the masked super-vigilante known as Batman. He was hailed as a national hero after the incarceration of Scarecrow at Arkham Asylum. Batman wanted to keep a low profile and not resurface again in the world of vigilantism until a real super-menace rose to prominence. Batman wanted to work peacefully now as the dashing Reverend Isaac Satan at the Colorado schoolhouse and hopefully generate some intelligent new lessons alongside his new female peer Shelbye Collins. Batman was therefore looking forward to putting this haunting past of fighting true evil behind him forever!

There were in fact rumors that Shelbye Collins, whose Irish father was a member of P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army), had ties to radical underground pro-Republican sympathizer groups in America connected to both the IRA and Sinn Fein in Northern Ireland (Belfast)! In fact, Shelbye was rumored to be using the Internet to make connections to female P-IRA sentinels in Belfast and London and networking resources and information to Belfast in the mission to deconstruct the presence of rogue terrorist elements that were destroying hopes of bridging Sinn Fein and the IRA by eliminating all cases of terrorism directed at civilian targets which almost always resulted in terrible acts of frustration-induced British police retaliatory violence directed at IRA sympathizers in Northern Ireland! This terrible inter-religious conflict between the Irish Catholic minority and British Protestant majority in Belfast created a deep and rather ugly schism in the modern global Christian community, and Shelbye worked with female P-IRA sentinels in Belfast to spread more information about re-stabilizing the United Kingdom.

The Colorado schoolhouse that Reverend Isaac Satan taught at was a handsome institution featuring students grades 3-8. The curriculum was well-varied and featured courses in mathematics and the arts as well as the social sciences and outdoor activities. Isaac and Shelbye were excited to be working together on the new curriculum involving lessons about provocative new age American crime-fighting and law interpretation and study. These young students would be therefore exposed early to the intricacies of sociological troubles that catalyzed adult-world terrorism and abnormalities in the modern American city and would therefore become students of a new 'hands-on' aesthetic.

Shelbye was indeed a liaison in America between Sinn Fein and P-IRA and used her connections to gain some educational resources regarding law and crime in Scotland Yard information and its comparisons to American law and crime history (e.g., Eliot Ness). Shelbye was also actually a transforming American masked vigilante herself, and she called herself Catwoman! Shelbye Collins (Catwoman) was busy pursuing a new underground super-terrorist named Mad Hatter who was lurking somewhere in Denver. Catwoman knew if Mad Hatter got his hands on chemical weapons, he'd use his new shipment of 'weapons-toys' to fund black market rogue terrorists who sought to exploit fragile world problems such as the Belfast troubles and Israel-Palestine through U.S. channels! Catwoman therefore wanted to grab this maniac and wanted to bring him to justice and therefore became a new gorgeous 'face' in American justice and law (and vigilantism).

Apparently, the Mad Hatter was shipping flare-guns and chemical weapons to rogue IRA and PLO in Europe who sought to strike at civilian targets in London and elsewhere. The Mad Hatter called his flare-guns symbols of new age fury, and they'd be fired at any policeman who sought to attack a masked 'bandit' or 'gangster' employed by the Mad Hatter or connected to one of his terrorist cells in Europe. Mad Hatter used American underground channels to gain some black money and resources, and Catwoman tracked this weapons-master to Denver soon after she joined the Colorado schoolhouse as the otherwise affable and bright teacher Shelbye Collins.

The Mad Hatter had only one thing on his mind --- bloody murder. He drooled at the apparent hypocrisy between American prestige behind its lauded 'Ivy League' of respected colleges/universities (e.g., Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, Penn, etc.) while failing to reign in the new age 'fire' of high-school shootings and massacres (e.g., Columbine). Mad Hatter wanted to pronounce this generic if ugly social hypocrisy in the new era by supplying these symbolic token 'flare-guns' to rogue terrorists in Europe and use it as a justification to cite America as a 'ferile' land for cultivating anti-social insanity. Catwoman was almost scared of the deformed Mad Hatter and no one knew his identity or origins.

CATWOMAN: How'd you find me?

BATMAN: The better question is, how'd you track this Mad Hatter?

CATWOMAN: I work alone, Batman.

BATMAN: Are you mad, Catwoman?
CATWOMAN: Mad as a hatter, Batman.

BATMAN: Clever, but risky, Catwoman.

CATWOMAN: What do you want with me, Batman?

BATMAN: Let me help you!

CATWOMAN: I'm knee-deep in Belfast bedlam and American underground hell.

BATMAN: I can help you!

CATWOMAN: How exactly?

BATMAN: Look, I'll parallel your channel work with some tech-market work.

CATWOMAN: Tech-market work, Batman?

BATMAN: Yeah, I'll go to Denver and promote sales of Playstation video-games.

CATWOMAN: Why?
BATMAN: I want to help; kids appreciate the spiritual value of war-games!

CATWOMAN: So use Denver to boost sales of war-games in Europe?

BATMAN: Precisely, Catwoman!

CATWOMAN: Are you a video-game aficionado, or something?

BATMAN: Let's just say, I have a 'flare' for modern intelligence.

CATWOMAN: I think I'm falling for you.

HATTER: I'll destroy Batman and Catwoman and anyone else who dares seek to usurp my apocalyptic vision of a world of uncontrolled terror and terrorists. This is the age of violence, and Batman/Catwoman think otherwise. They will not stop the Mad Hatter. No one will. I bet Batman and Catwoman are secretly a pair of affable and simpleton schoolteachers in some humble and 'dreamy' schoolhouse somewhere in Colorado or Michigan or Virginia or Arizona or something. Needless to say, they won't deter my will for pure distrust. That's a promise!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)