Belfast Blood: A Vampire Daiquiri*

Isaac and his girlfriend hunt real-life vampires in Northern Ireland and unwittingly add some 'democratic' spice to the otherwise troubled region in modern civilization!

Here's an Irish politics yarn mixed with vampire-folklore, inspired by the new age fantasy-adventure film Pride and Prejudice and Zombies! Thanks so much for reading (signing off),

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Isaac traveled to Belfast (Northern Ireland) on Aer Lingus airlines and began his post-CIA adventure in Europe hunting vampires formally. Isaac had read the stories of Van Helsing and was intrigued by new age folklore about vampires lurking in Ireland and Northern Ireland and wanted to be an active vampire hunter.

Isaac began his field-research in a Belfast cemetery. He took photos and made sketches and prayers at the cemetery and hoped to invoke the guiding oracle that would lead him to vampires in Belfast (Northern Ireland). Isaac realized there was more to this lore about blood-drawing humanoid immortals and why they shaped European ethos even in the modern era!

Isaac always wore sunglasses and most often some kind of mask. He carried a crossbow with arrows tipped with garlic and holy-water. He carried a silver crucifix and used throwing blade-stars to attack vampires by striking them in the neck with the blade-stars. He was a professional vampire hunter, and he preferred this new life and career to his old life and career working with CIA/P-IRA to rid the Belfast area of the deeply disturbing Protestant-Catholic rifts in the UK leading to all kinds of inter-religious sterility!

Isaac read a very insightful book before traveling to Belfast (Northern Ireland) to begin his post-CIA career as a freelance but professional vampire hunter. He then interviewed people all over Northern Ireland to gather their perspectives and views on the book itself and what they thought about the notion or imagination of blood-drawing humanoid vampires creating more complexity in a land already troubled by inter-religious hysteria! Isaac considered his book, The Irish Vampire, a great totem for spiritual courage.

No sooner had Isaac arrived in Belfast that his legend grew. People were comparing him to Van Helsing himself. Isaac had already hunted down and killed over 20 vampires, mostly strong young adult men and women who had a strange 'taste' for human blood. These vampires hid in society and sometimes in circles of fashion and chic networks but prowled at night and in dens drawing in vulnerable party-goers and using them as hunting gems. Isaac considered his encounter with these radical and eerily attractive 'Northern Ireland vampires' as signs of a modern rapture.

Of course, we all know Belfast (Northern Ireland) is beset in the 'normal real world' by the 'real' stories of the troubling conflicts created by IRA terrorism and retaliatory British police violence! This is a land of little control, and even during the great Coronavirus quarantine tribulation of 2020, when the world was purely connected indoors for work and study and even play by modern media/Internet, creating strange discussions about inter-religious access to networking platforms through technology, Isaac noted the rifts between the Irish Catholic minority and British Protestant majority. In such a divided land, there was a palpable and almost eerily timeless tension created by the darkened skies of lurkers!

When Isaac worked for the CIA/P-IRA, he noted that Northern Ireland was overlooked and ignored by the United Nations (UN) and global leaders despite the obvious symbolic importance of the deep division between the two dominant denominantions in the modern global Christian community --- Catholicism and Protestantism! People were simply more interested in the petroleum politics of Israel-Palestine and OPEC which made Judaism-Islam conflicts more interesting to news-reporters! Northern Ireland was therefore shadowy and shadowed, and now that Isaac was a professional ex-CIA vampire hunter in Belfast, he took great notice of all the quiet and intriguing scurrying 'traffic' of souls wandering around like creatures seeking diaries.

ISAAC: It was shocking to me that despite the fact that the Irish had even employed Catholic women in Belfast in their armed struggle which sometimes bred rogue unlicensed terrorists who struck at civilian targets in Northern Ireland, no one really cared about this violent border between Catholics and Protestants, almost as if Israel-Palestine had miraculously 'facilitated' the complete neglect of this European dilemma, and now I fear the vampires of Belfast will exploit such 'social' diagonals!

Isaac met a beautiful young Irish Catholic woman named Linda O'Hara who shared his very eccentric interests in vampires lurking in Northern Ireland. Isaac met Linda at a Catholic pub in Belfast on a Saturday night and they instantly connected and began an intimate relationship. Linda demanded she become Isaac's 'black canary' to his vigilante 'green arrow' of vampire-hunting prowess and courage! Linda and Isaac quickly became known in Belfast as the ultimate underground vampire-lore destroying (or creating!) designers!

Isaac and Linda's adventures hunting and tracking and killing ferocious humanoid vampires in Northern Ireland inspired comic book artists to spawn some cult stories about 'creatures' adding to the Protestant-Catholic hell-walls in Belfast, and this in turn inspired a video-game designer to add a twist to a new Van Helsing themed vampire-hunting game featuring a vampire adventure of horrific proportions in Northern Ireland! Isaac and Linda were suddenly 'Occult' celebrities. Were they safe?

LINDA: I carry garlic and holy-water like Isaac and have learned to shoot the crossbow rather well and have experience with killing real-life vampires in Belfast, and since Isaac is very mature and thorough about acquiring even the most odd bits of information about Belfast hell, I know our tools and imaginative resources makes our Northern Ireland adventure reflective of a real modern diary!

Isaac's greatest fear was that he'd be seduced by a gorgeous and irresistible female vampire who'd manage to lure him away from the love of his beloved Irish Catholic girlfriend Linda! Isaac kept this fear a deep secret, but he always looked at Linda to remind him that encounters with any seductive female vampire in Belfast should only remind him of his supreme crusader duty and killing mission.

One fanzine writer in Northern Ireland suggested that Isaac and Linda had managed to add some real mysticism and folkloric spice to Belfast, not unlike the spice found in Romania regarding Dracula, but that if Isaac and Linda continued in their odd but certainly profound adventure in Europe, they might unwittingly stumble upon some nifty 'human' solution to the age-old and tiring Protestant-Catholic division causing paranoia in the otherwise democratic UK.

Linda asked Isaac what he'd do if he discovered that she was one night bitten by one of the frightening vampires they'd been tracking, causing her to turn into a secret vampire perhaps even trying to betray or kill or convert Isaac himself (her own boyfriend and vampire-hunter partner!), and Isaac coolly told his girlfriend, "If you become a vampire, I'll commit suicide."

CIA: We still maintain very seriously that despite this newfound Earthly 'fascination' with vampire-lore in Belfast (Northern Ireland), being flamed by one of our respected former agents (Isaac Satan), there's no doubt that the Protestant-Catholic division in Belfast remains the most important religious or metaphysical problem, regardless of how 'secretly' hypnotized we find ourselves by this intriguing (if odd!) vampire-hunting 'new age adventure' carried on by Isaac and his Catholic girlfriend; so perhaps this regional superstition fun will bring in some needed 'money' and 'media' to a Northern Ireland really troubled by metaphysical death!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)