Friday the 13th: Jason Goes to Belfast

A Story by Abishai100

Jason Voorhees, the zombie from hell, sneaks into Northern Ireland, prompting an American sheriff and Algerian-American government officer to team up to draw him away from an already troubled U.K.

Friday the 13th has become an iconic franchise in American horror storytelling/cinema/comics. I thought I'd sign off with a horror fan-comic tale about Jason Voorhees threatening the work in Northern Ireland, leading an American sheriff to team up with an American government specter named Green Shadow --- something to lighten the load of all this political tension! God bless, and stay safe all during this Coronavirus tribulation! And thanks for reading,

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Isaac Satan (code-name: Green Shadow) was a CIA/P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) underground operative in Belfast (Northern Ireland) working to make bridges between the IRA and Sinn Fein and Parliament and eradicate ex-IRA madmen who were targeting civilian targets and areas in Northern Ireland. Isaac (Green Shadow) was working for improved Protestant-Catholic relations in Northern Ireland by motivating leaders to work towards socioeconomic reforms and the erasure of socioeconomic disparities making co-existence uncomfortable. He was considered an ace infiltrator and coordinator, and even though he was Algerian-American (with relatives involved in the FLN revolution against French occupation of Muslim Algeria), his work for CIA/P-IRA was passionate and meaningful to him, because he cared about modern urban democracy!

Isaac (Green Shadow) was in Belfast (Northern Ireland) negotiating a treaty between the P-IRA and Sinn Fein regarding the treatment and incarceration of ex-IRA madmen who needed to be exposed so years of terrorism and retaliatory violence would not continue, dividing the world's two largest denominations of the Christian faith/community. Green Shadow knew that one hurdle to obtaining more sociopolitical attention to this Protestant-Catholic division in Belfast was the social neglect of this problem created by more focus on the petroleum politics of Israel-Palestine which was deemed a more weighty inter-religious world issue in terms of global capitalism! However, Green Shadow was considered an ace missionary in the cause in Northern Ireland to bring Protestants and Catholics together and to the negotiation table for improved socioeconomic coexistence in Belfast. He was a terrific government specter!

Belfast (Northern Ireland) was cold at night, with varying moods of depression but spirited ale among the Protestant and Catholic communities who mostly celebrated at night in separate pubs and night-clubs. Things went on as best they could, but it was up to real figures in the world such as Green Shadow to bring this serious inter-religious rift in the global Christian community and in the UK to a final peaceful solution! Green Shadow would stand on the bridge at night in Belfast, daydreaming about the time when Belfast and London would be considered two ends of a common peaceful and commercial dominion in Europe.

After the partition of mainland Ireland in the early 20th Century, following the independence of Dublin (Ireland) from British rule under the revolutionary leadership of the Irish patriots Michael Collins and Eamon de Valera, Belfast (Northern Ireland) remained part of British control, since generations of British Protestants who'd settled there as descendants of colonialists from England, made the British population a territorial majority in Northern Ireland! Now, various sects and factions of the IRA and P-IRA were struggling to bring to Parliament's attention the socioeconomic disparities between the Irish Catholic minority and British Protestant majority that was creating uncomfortable silences, rogue terrorism directed at civilian areas, and retaliatory British police brutality arising from natural and undeniable frustrations. This was hell on Earth, and it drove the two dominant denominations of the Christian world community apart. Green Shadow knew this was the sort of darkness and depression that would bring up dark forces from the underworld!

That's just what Belfast (Northern Ireland) was destined to face. This darkness from the underworld came in the form of the psycho zombie Jason Voorhees. Jason was a youngster in New Jersey, in a camp by Crystal Lake in the forests of the Pine Barrens, who drowned as a young boy at the summer camp because of irresponsible and neglectful camp counselors who were drinking and partying. Jason was at the bottom of Crystal Lake and emerged years later as a grown man but as a zombie! He donned a hockey-mask and went on a murder spree, killing anyone out of spite and vengeance. It was darkness consummate. Now, Jason managed to sneak on a ship sailing to Belfast and landed in Northern Ireland on a cold night in October, while Green Shadow was still in Belfast working for the CIA/P-IRA.

The IRA had enough on its hands being forced to reign in the negative influence and impact of ex-IRA madmen, excommunicated by the Irish Catholic community but continuing in uncommissioned acts of civilian-targeted terrorism in Northern Ireland. The IRA had to organize their efforts in the eyes of the CIA and Green Shadow and with Sinn Fein so Parliament leaders would have an easier time understanding how the Protestant-Catholic division could be brought rationally under the light of legitimate political negotiation and democratic talks about practical socioeconomic reforms aimed at erasing disparities. The IRA were therefore under the moon of bad fortune and didn't need Jason Voorhees to make their lives any more ugly!

Of course, Jason Voorhees didn't care about any of that sociopolitical nonsense! He was in Belfast (Northern Ireland) just to raise hell and decapitate helpless people who stood in his path. He got off the ship he stowed-away on and hid in the forest outside Belfast and began meditating on his next move. He was ready to kill once he procured some nasty weapons and tools for his reign of bloodlust. How would Green Shadow deal with this dark threat now to Belfast beats?

Fortunately, a sheriff from New Jersey named Cole Gannon tracked Jason to Belfast. He saw Jason crawl into the ship but was injured by the hockey-mask wearing zombie who fled from him before sailing to Northern Ireland. Cole traveled to Belfast on Aer Lingus (Ireland's national airline!) and arrived there in time to find the CIA/P-IRA operative Green Shadow (Isaac Satan) and warn him and team up with him to stop Jason from creating madness in Northern Ireland and especially in Belfast. Green Shadow now had an American ally in Sheriff Gannon.

ISAAC: Why the hell did you draw Jason to us, sheriff?

GANNON: Hey, I was chasing the b*****d and he sailed to you!
ISAAC: Well, what the hell can we do now?
GANNON: We have to coordinate our efforts and triangulate him.
ISAAC: Triangulate Jason?
GANNON: Yeah, I'll draw him towards me since he knows me.
ISAAC: Then what?
GANNON: You sneak up behind him and shoot him or decapitate him.
ISAAC: Sounds nasty as hell!
GANNON: Hey, don't you work as a government spook, Green Shadow?
ISAAC: I'm a sane missionary; this is undertaker work, sheriff.
GANNON: We have no choice now but to work together.
ISAAC: Yes, we can't let Jason target Catholics and Protestants in Belfast.
GANNON: I doubt Jason cares about inter-religious troubles in this city!
ISAAC: I'm sure he doesn't, but maybe we can dilute Jason's dark reign.
GANNON: So, let's go with my plan.
ISAAC: Yes, we should be able to surround him when we spot him in the city.
GANNON: I suspect he'll head to a place where there are crowds to select random victims.
ISAAC: He just wants to kill however many people he can before he's killed!
GANNON: That's exactly correct.
ISAAC: Well, we have motivation now, so I'll recruit some of my men from my side.
GANNON: Just be sure to sneak up behind him when I draw him towards me!
ISAAC: Yeah, don't worry; I think we'll make a rather 'charged' team for this task.
GANNON: God help us.

Sheriff Gannon and Green Shadow proceeded to track and hunt down Jason all over Northern Ireland. They waited to spot him and one night when both crusaders were taking time-off to enjoy ale on the Belfast bridge by the river, they spotted Jason heading towards a night-scene in the city. Gannon and Isaac knew Jason was basically going to where there were lights and crowds. Sheriff Gannon and Green Shadow coordinated their resources. They both now wielded crossbows and pistols and throwing-knives, just what was needed to disarm the psycho zombie now haunting the already troubled UK city of Belfast!

Gannon and Isaac saw Jason heading towards a lit area of Belfast by a pub where there were many people in the streets drinking and partying. It was only about 11 pm, and the crowds would not be dispersing for about 3 hours, so the sheriff and the government specter had to work quickly to create a perimeter around the hockey-mask wearing menace. This was a crisis worse than 9/11. Everything was at stake!

Jason walked by a Provisional Irish Republican Army sign on a wall on his way to the lit area with the partying crowds. He decided to pick up a scurrying rat and cut its head off and splattered its blood on the sign! This was done as a gesture conveying his complete lack of regard for Northern Ireland political consciousness or life troubles. It was now up to Sheriff Gannon and Green Shadow to stop this ugly presence of evil, still on a rampage of vengeance originating in the faraway place called Crystal Lake.

Jason spotted a lovely blonde Irish Catholic woman standing in the street with the crowds in that lit area by the pub in Belfast. She had on a lovely pink blouse. Jason thought she reminded him of his deceased mother, which actually just got him more angry. The woman was Tina Collins, grand-daughter of the nephew of Michael Collins, Irish leader during the time of the Easter Rising. Jason didn't care about that. He decided he'd decpatitate Tina for his mother.

Sheriff Gannon and Green Shadow spotted Jason and saw him standing behind some bushes staring at Tina Collins. Gannon headed towards Jason to draw him to an area Green Shadow would be prepared to engage, while Green Shadow ran over to Tina and told her to get safely to a car and flee the pub scene on that Belfast street scene that night. She was shocked and didn't know what to say or do, but Green Shadow kissed her and told her to just get the hell out of there!

Sheriff Gannon then yelled to Jason, "I found you b*****d! I tracked you to Belfast, you nut! Now come and chase me, ugly!" Jason started moving towards Gannon, and that's when Green Shadow started darting towards the back-side of Jason. Meanwhile, two of the men Gannon and Isaac recruited for this hunt were creating a perimeter with guns to usher the crowds in the street scene subtly and quietly indoors! Sheriff Gannon drew Jason near a dumpster in an alley, and Green Shadow skulked behind up to Jason's backside and drew his crossbow.

Ironically, Isaac Satan (Green Shadow) had actually performed a similar 'vigilante task' in Belfast, eradicating an ex-IRA madman who was modeling himself after Leatherface (the fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre horror-film series!). Isaac had to work like a ninja to track down this 'Leatherface' and kill him, and he was relieved to tell reporters, "We managed to erase a real Belfast bad-a*s."

Green Shadow had trained his men in the forest outside Belfast to contend with Jason Voorhees and be able to square up on him and just shoot him down without hesitation. Jason was like Bigfoot, a real cryptic entity from the dark-side of the imagination. Green Shadow had to be sure his men were ready to deal with Jason as if the zombie was a pure threat to every human instinct!

When Sheriff Gannon drew Jason to the dumpster in the Belfast alley by the street-pub scene, Green Shadow ran up behind Jason and fired four sharp arrows from his crossbow into the back of Jason's skull. Two of the arrows were tipped with an immediately-innoculating poisonous chemical. Jason stumbled and started clumsily running away and ended up falling into the river by the Belfast bridge where Gannon and Isaac first spotted him that night. Jason gave the two crusaders one last hard look before diving underwater like a specter of darkness. He simply vanished, but Sheriff Gannon knew he was now departing Northern Ireland forever!

Sheriff Gannon and Green Shadow (Isaac Satan) told the reporters in Belfast that the two had teamed up to eradicate the presence of a real evil nemesis in the underworld specter Jason Voorhees. They told the reporters they believed Jason was some incarnate evil resurrected from the grave with pure dark energy and had to be driven away from Belfast like a spook. They then hooked up with a Belfast comic book artist to commission some cool comic book stories for the public about the heroic super-brute Hulk (Marvel Comics) personally wrestling Jason Voorhees and sending his soul straight to Hell. This was an overall successful mission for Sheriff Gannon and Green Shadow who intended to share this good news with Dartmouth (the special news-agency devoted to crime-fighting in Northern Ireland).

A kids' video-game was generated in which British army and IRA men teamed up to fight Jason Voorhees. The game became as popular in Northern Ireland as Mortal Kombat had in the USA. Sheriff Gannon and Green Shadow actually spent some good time together playing the game and promoting it on the Internet!

Cole Gannon then flew back to America on Aer Lingus, hoping that if Jason resurfaced, it would only be in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. It was a sobering flight for the good American sheriff. He breathed a sigh of relief for all of Northern Ireland.

Green Shadow meanwhile had more comic book art commissioned portraying a Sinn Fein crusder, a woman named Tina Collins incidentally, who was tracking and hunting down Jason Voorhees so he wouldn't interfere in the valuable modern mission to create inter-religious peace between Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland!

Belfast was now relatively safe and Green Shadow was back at work creating bridges between the IRA and Sinn Fein and Parliament. Jason was gone.

JASON VOORHEES: I'll never go back to Belfast, but I'll stay in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, and if Sheriff Gannon haunts me there, I'll find a way by heavens to decapitate him for the memory of my departed mother, Elizabeth!

ISAAC: We made a small miracle, sheriff.

GANNON: I think kids will sing our praises.

ISAAC: Thanks for your help, Cole.

GANNON: Good luck with all your Belfast brigades, Isaac.

ISAAC: Yeah; God bless the United Kingdom.

If you spot Jason Voorhees, think of the next place he might raise hell and remember this story of how two unlikely heroes saved the day with a small miracle and created a pocket of daylight in a troubled place in the United Kindgom, offering hope to Protestants and Catholics otherwise seemingly endlessly divided over the real human worry of social distancing!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)