The Bank Job

A Story by Abishai100

A wily Algerian-American thief agrees to rob a London bank for the P-IRA but meets an attractive Irish-American actress who begins giving him sincere dreams!

One last Irish politics-Dianetics vignette, and this romantic heist fable was inspired by the offbeat film The Bank Job.

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Isaac Satan was a skilled bank robber who was recruited by the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) to rob the London Bank in England in the summer of 2020. Isaac Satan was given the IRA field-alias 'Green Shadow' and was introduced to Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams who was working tirelessly to promote reforms in Belfast to promote more democratic ties between Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland legally and politically. Isaac Satan ('Green Shadow'), an Algerian-American with relatives who were involved in the FLN revolution against French colonialism in Algeria, had no political allegiances and agreed to do the bank job for the P-IRA in the summer of 2020 just to prove he could do it!

Green Shadow traveled to England in June 2020 and moved around London posing as an Algerian photojournalist. He met a beautiful Irish-American actress named Eva Collins who was very wealthy and invited Isaac (Green Shadow) to her hotel suite where she could be hospitable for him while he photographed her for an Esquire story about Irish-American celebrities in the modern era. Isaac and Eva fell in love and he found he was spending lots of romantic and sensual time with her while plotting his robbery of the London Bank.

The P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) was devoted to revolutionary uprooting of all levels of British rule in Northern Ireland. The P-IRA believed the Parliamentary policy of enforcing Protestant rule in Belfast on the basis of the statistic of a demographic majority in Northern Ireland from generations of British colonial settlers was simply disagreeable with Irish Catholic life and culture. Irish Catholics had lived as a minority in Northern Ireland for too long, according to the P-IRA. This was the staunch stance the P-IRA took, and while its newest underground covert operative Green Shadow (Isaac Satan) was plotting his bank heist of the London bank to provide the P-IRA more monetary resources for black-market munitions purchases, the P-IRA soldiers/sentinels were plotting an attack on a British police and military security barracks outside Belfast in Northern Ireland.

The London bank was very impressive and very well-secured. It was a government insured institution with an incredible vault-room holding all kinds of gold and money. Isaac (Green Shadow) estimated there must have been over $100 million in assets in that vault room and perhaps some relevant sociopolitical global ties to very important world figures such as Dr. Hector Hammond (the English Oscorp genetic-mutation center scientist and founder), Donald Trump (capitalism-baron and U.S. President), and Bill Gates (American software titan). Green Shadow (Isaac Satan) intended to steal at least $30 million from the London bank that summer. How would he do it for the P-IRA?

The interior of the London Bank was very well-managed and well-organized. There were multiple tellers by barred windows and representatives at computer-desk terminals waiting to serve customers and patrons. A robber would really have to turn up the screws to pull off any kind of a successful heist of an English institution like this one! Isaac Satan (Green Shadow) needed a really ingenious plan. He decided to involve his celebrity-actress Irish-American girlfriend Eva Collins for the heist. She'd pose as a new customer of the bank and Isaac's girlfriend. Isaac would walk into the bank with Eva at his side but with skin-mask cosmetics and a wig and mustache to disguise his face and appearance. Eva would just walk in as her usual self and apply for an account at one of the computer-desk service seats.

Eva would tell the bank that she'd like to open a rather handsome special 'celebrity account' at the bank and that her boyfriend would want to inspect and get a tour of the bank vault room for her. The bank manager and guards agreed to do this for Eva and her boyfriend Isaac (Green Shadow!), and Isaac was taken to the vault-room with his iPhone. When Isaac was taken inside the vault-room with his iPhone, he began snapping photos. He was escorted by one security guard who was armed with a pistol.

Isaac (Green Shadow) took the photos of the stacks of gold bars in the vault-room. He took about 10 photos with his iPhone of these gold bars in the company of the bank security-guard. He then turned to the guard eerily and pulled out his ski-mask hidden in his shoe and put it on his head before disclosing the fact that his iPhone concealed a special corrosive HCL acid-tube shooter in its back-side and he'd shoot it in the guard's face if he didn't comply with his orders now. The guard agreed to lay down his handgun and laid down on the ground and put his arms behind his back so Isaac could tie up the guard's hands with a nylon scarf which was around his neck. Isaac (Green Shadow) then took 10 gold bars and crawled out of the bank with the bars through the ventilation-system, after he put his face up to the one security-camera in the vault-room and spoke into it and said, "I take this gold for the Irish hearts!"

Isaac fled the bank area through the sewers and met his girlfriend Eva back at her hotel suite. She then asked him why he disappeared, and he explained he had to go meet an old friend while she continued with her bank account opening process. The account was opened so the two new lovebirds could share their fortunes while traveling around England together that summer. Isaac (Green Shadow) had told Eva that he was simply going to take the vault-room iPhone photos by himself and with the guard before either rejoining her in the account services area of the bank or by the coffee shop outside the bank. When Eva didn't see Isaac at the coffee shop, she simply assumed he returned to meet her at her hotel suite, and she was right! Isaac (Green Shadow) then told Eva he'd decided to wear a face-disguise get-up with wig and mustache for the bank account opening so no one would recognize who she (a celebrity!) was dating and to make a funny adventurous joke! Eva had no idea she was dating a consummate bank robber for the P-IRA.

Isaac and Eva used Eva's money to travel around England by double-decker bus. They saw everything and made love and ate lots of tasty British food. Eva told Isaac of her interest in Irish culture and English life. She'd made movies about Protestant-Catholic relations in Northern Ireland for the acclaimed American film-maker Alan J. Pakula. Isaac (Green Shadow) had already deposited the gold stolen from the London bank into the coffers of the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) after his skillful heist. However, he was now discovering that he was becoming sincerely intrigued by Northern Ireland politics after learning about the symbolic films his girlfriend Eva had been making for Hollywood while traveling around with her in England that summer. Isaac (Green Shadow) realized this summer jaunt was actually giving him an 'Irish' heart.

Isaac purchased for Eva a beautiful transparent Swatch wrist-watch from Switzerland, one of the classic ones in which you could see inside to the working-gears and dials! Isaac told Eva this wrist-watch was a symbol of his developing emotional interest in her and how the gears of the watch, which you could clearly see, reminded him of the undeniable aspects of discovered love. Eva loved the gift.

Isaac (Green Shadow) was given a special commendation by P-IRA field-commander Tom Sheridan. Sheridan offered Isaac the opportunity to become a regular IRA soldier in the Belfast brigade and asked him to accompany the P-IRA sentinels on a routing of a British police station in the autumn of 2020. He even offered Isaac a gifted assembled handsome rifle-gun with targeting lens so he'd learn how to shoot as well as he'd learned how to be a consummate thief. However, as honored and overwhelmed as Isaac felt, he realized he wanted to just live a life of simple peace with his new Irish-American girlfriend Eva Collins now that he was truly in love. He did tell Sheridan, however, that he'd ironically become truly fascinated by Belfast bureaucracy and b through his Irish-American girlfriend. Sheridan was sorry to see such a resourceful young man depart, but he wished him and Eva good fortunes in life in America.

Isaac and Eva visited the English royal palace and met Prince William and Kate Middleton before returning to America. Isaac took some rather dashing photos of the young royal couple with his iPhone. This was a terrific experience for Isaac Satan, since he'd learned about the intricacies of an underground life as well as the surprising revelations of a love-life. He cherished his British photos of William and Kate and kissed Eva.