Portia

A tricky rogue operative for the P-IRA visits the English royal palace posed as a journalist and inquires Prince William and Kate about the funny fineries of media diets!

So here's a royalty-media parody about IRA (Irish Republican Army) dogma, inspired by the cheeky lifestyle-and-diarism British comedy A Fish Called Wanda. Thanks for reading (signing off),

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While the new world embraced a commercial aesthetic towards democratic peace, national brands such as Aer Lingus and British Petroleum became synonymous with anti-terrorism. This was the atmosphere of modern capitalism, and it reflected the interest to use consumerism to resolve sociocultural conflicts throught trade. This was evident in Israel-Palestine and OPEC and in the Protestant-Catholic matrix in Northern Ireland. The Aer Lingus airline company from Ireland symbolized a European interest to use commerce and capitalism to comfort people stressed about various local political troubles, particularly those between British Protestants and Irish Catholics in Belfast (Northern Ireland).

Prince William and Kate Middleton were the chic new royal couple in England. They represented the figurehead of new age monarchy and the allure of media regarding royalty gossip and press. Gone was the scar of the Diana-Dodi affair widely publicized in the 20th Century. William and Kate were the picture of loveliness and so much so that people started referring to Kate in the press as 'Portia' (the iconic wise young woman from Shakespeare's symbolic multicultural play The Merchant of Venice). Kate was to be England's royal princess face for new age commercial dealings regarding England-America ties in the modern media, and William wanted to use "Portia" to campaign for British Petroleum (BP) successes in North America with U.S. President Donald Trump, a former capitalism-baron himself.

Into this mix of great commercial and media intrigue and imagination came the incendiary Algerian-American terrorist Ajay Satan, a political science student educated in the Ivy League and descendant of individuals involved in the Algerian FLN revolution against French colonial occupation. Ajay Satan adopted a modern world beset by the political impact of Israel-Palestine strains and of course Protestant-Catholic strains in Northern Ireland. Passionate Satan opted to become a rogue or 'freelance' operative of the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) in Belfast and wanted to help the Irish Catholic minority in Northern Ireland obtain more civil rights and liberal access to modern media while living alongside the British Protestant majority. Irish Catholics had endured much, and the P-IRA was looking for a fresh new unknown 'face' for their struggle for more home-rule in Belfast. Ajay Satan was given the P-IRA field-alias 'Green Shadow' (GS) and was introduced to Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams. Ajay (Green Shadow) was to target the royals in England, and specifically, the lovely Portia (Kate Middleton). He was a real terrorist, but was he also a freedom-fighter?

Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) visited the royal palace in England posed as an Algerian journalist intrigued by what Prince William and Kate had to say about modern IRA troubles in Belfast. He was given a press-pass and was introduced to the young and handsome royal couple. Ajay began charming both William and Kate and in particular entreated the intrigued Kate Middleton with various pro-IRA materials he claimed he'd researched over the years as a liberal Algerian journalist. Kate discovered Ajay was related to some FLN revolutionaries in Algeria and asked the liberal young man what he thought about general global ties between otherwise disparate terrorist groups such as the FLN and the IRA. Ajay quickly flashed his token IRA gold badge which he collected while claiming to do research on P-IRA in Northern Ireland. Kate was very impressed, as Ajay explained he wanted to cover the links between local terrorism and modern globalization consciousness.

Ajay and Kate hit it off quite nicely and began conversing a great deal, while Prince William was busy performing some media dealings with U.S. President Donald Trump regarding British Petroleum (BP) markets in Canada and its effect on capitalism media in Europe and the Middle East. Ajay and Kate were conversing more and more during Ajay's press-visit to the royal palace. He didn't seem to care as much about Prince William's BP dealings with the American President. Instead, he asked Kate Middleton what she thought about the public folkloric depictions of the scandalous historic story or pseudo-story of the rebellious English knight Lancelot purported to be involved in an adulterous affair with the regal Queen Guinevere of Camelot. Kate told Ajay that the aged story of Lancelot-Guinevere had provided much 'tabloid fodder' for writers and soothsayers speaking easy about the fragility of royal prestige among the populace. Ajay was stunned by Kate's command over English folklore and asked her more and more about the general English appeal of the story of Lancelot, a knight who was apparently knighted by King Arthur himself.

The British Parliament building stood as a proud monument to the traditions and policies of the English government. The British Empire had lost much of its colonial territories, pronouncedly India, America, and Ireland. However, it retained its property in Northern Ireland thanks to the fact that generations of British Protestant colonial settlers had lived there for generations as a population majority, making the Irish Catholic population only a minority. The British Parliament building stood for the erection of all standards and customs pertinent to the valuation of British governance policies and rhetoric and even ideology. This was the sort of government super-structuralism that the radical Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) was sent to deconstruct with trickery at the royal palace in England for the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army).

Because the soldiers and officers of the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) were required to be on-hand in various locations throughout Northern Ireland to invade British police and military strongholds to bring more attention to Irish Catholic minority dissatisfaction in Belfast, their new underground Algerian-American freelance operative Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) was commanded to perform this very sideshow duty of performing or achieving some kind of subversive England 'sideshow' for the IRA. While the P-IRA sentinels did their continuing work in Northern Ireland, Green Shadow planned a tactical method for planting some media poison regarding the royal media in England. This was, after all, a total campaign to simply tickle British governance.

As Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) continued to charm Kate Middleton with his knowledge and questions about the historical and sociocultural symbolism of the Lancelot-Guinevere affair in the royal palace, Kate ('Portia') realized she was becoming more and more 'undone' by this sort of folkloric controversy with basic but simple conversation. After all, chatting about the Lancelot-Guinevere controversy while Prince William was busy working with President Trump made Kate ('Portia') feel like she was in a unique position to talk more 'liberally' and 'openly' about what she thought about the incendiary quality of the Lancelot-Guinevere scandal. Kate ('Portia') suddenly found herself somewhat 'distracted' by this rather unusual conversation regarding the imagery of Lancelot-Guinevere (in movies, media, and even art).

Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) then took Kate ('Portia') and one of her royal guards on an English drive in his parked and polished white Lamborghini sports-car. As Ajay exhibited his incredible gifts at road-driving in the Lamborghini, he subtly asked Kate ('Portia') what she thought it might've been like being Queen Guinevere of Camelot and finding herself 'charmed' by the fineries and feathers and quills of the imaginative Lancelot. Kate ('Portia') admitted all this 'reputation media talk' made her quite flustered about the aura of royal prestige and gossip. She was also taken by Ajay's rather quick-footed Lamborghini driving!

Finally, Kate ('Portia') just called Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) out while driving in his Lamborghini and demanded to know if he was simply some kind of gossip-monger sent by some journalism company to find out something sullied or unholy about modern royalty views on the aged Lancelot-Guinevere fairy-tale. She wanted to know if Ajay was just trying to see if the young William and Kate were simply 'taken' by the modern aura of media traffic and were somehow 'dumbfounded' by the complication of the Lancelot-Guinevere oral tradition in mob culture! Kate asked Ajay if he was trying to dare her into making some comment about the fragile quality of royal prestige in general, and Ajay had been recording her tempered and angered reaction and response on his hidden voice-recorder. She was obviously rattled by this controversial Lancelot-Guinevere inquiry!

Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) departed from the company of the very hospitable Prince William and Kate and wrote an expose article, submitted anonymously to both the Irish Free Press in Belfast and Dublin and the London Times (in the editorial section), in which he described the modern problem of 'media claustrophobia' and how it contributed to the young Prince William and Kate Middleton ('Portia') to becoming somehow 'unhinged' by social reputation gossip regarding age-old royalty folklore of controversial manner, specifically the aged Lancelot-Guinevere affair. Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) called this entire media scandal consciousness in the developing age of journalism a sign of the need for greater global access to free-speech and media and entertainment and capitalism in general, an access that both Protestants and Catholics would consider essentially psychological and representative of a dinner-table conversation social aesthetic. Was he right?

Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) used his Lancelot-Guinevere 'trick' with Prince William and Kate Middleton ('Portia') to argue in the press that access to modern media and consumerism in general reflected a modern civilization interest in social psychology and networking. If such free-speech access regarding basic and harmless conversational topics, regardless of how controversial they'd been treated in the past (e.g., Lancelot-Guinevere), was limited for the Irish Catholic minority living in Northern Ireland, how would British Parliament claim it was reaching and representing the basic chatter of all the people of their grand kingdom? This was the socialization questionnaire that the tricky Ajay Satan (Green Shadow) managed to perform for the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) during his complicated visit to the royal palace in England.

AJAY SATAN (GREEN SHADOW): Greater civil rights and media access for the Irish Catholic minority living in Northern Ireland will not come overnight. It will take many forms and layers of ingenuity and radical thinking. The sentinels of the Provisional Irish Republican Army and the guardians of Sinn Fein are constantly worrying about what Irish Catholics need and desire in this modern age of mass consumption and media, which makes free-speech all the more important. We hope our press venture regarding wider access to social topics will increase political interest in the demands for greater media 'dreadlocks' (and dogma!). God bless Ireland.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)