Maiden Heist

An iconic English princess is burglarized by three masked eccentrics seeking to make an elaborate media stunt in the name of modern political disco!

Here's one more heist-vignette, and this light parody with lighthearted wit was inspired by the film Small Time Crooks. Thanks so much (signing off),

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Princess Elizabeth was traveling around Europe before purchasing an incredible classic mansion in England. She visited Austria, Belgium, and Finland before settling down into her new palace. She even purchased a very expensive fur-coat and was photographed in various society magazines in the USA and UK.

The princess' mansion was really something to behold in the daylight. It featured many rooms and incredible chandeliers. She had some personal bodyguards and a security system installed at her mansion by ADT. The princess was thinking about constructing a horse-riding area like an equestrian track. She also kept in her mansion a very expensive diamond-bracelet estimated at about $40 million in value. She had it all.

The princess decided to also have a carousel installed in her mansion so she could invite her sister's school-children over for summertime events. Her sister was an English kindergarten school-teacher and took her students on field-trips, and the princess installed the carousel room to entertain the students in summer. This was an idyllic English story.

The princess kept her diamond-bracelet in a special bank-like basement vault-room which she never suspected anyone would try to break into and steal. However, three ex-IRA members decided to surprise her one summer night in 2020. These three masked daredevils were two guys and a girl who formerly worked with the IRA and learned of the princess' dubious ties to various anti-IRA and Black-and-Tan finance groups in the UK. The three daredevils called themselves the Green Team ('GT') and modeled themselves after the DC Comics superhero team of Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and Black Canary. The GT broke into the princess' mansion one summer night and tranquilized her bodyguards with darts before forcing her to take them to the vault-area where the $40 million bracelet was stored.

The princess named this $40M diamond-bracelet the Tiffany after a friend of hers in the USA. This diamond-bracelet was really immaculate, and the princess didn't want it to be stolen by vandals or crooks. However, the ex-IRA Green Team ('GT') had other plans for her expensive diamond piece. They intended to steal it and give half of its value in cash to Sinn Fein sympathizers hiding in the UK in 2020. The GT was therefore quite eccentric, quite mad, and quite motivated for this elaborate media stunt.

The vault room was in the basement right by the stairwell by an ornate stained-glass art-piece of a natural woman basking in Earth's light. The GT complimented the princess for her selection of fine stained-glass art before demanding she take them to the vault-area where they could procure her $40M Tiffany. This was oddly a very cinematic burglary of a very iconic English royal woman, so the GT didn't want to sully anything for the press.

After the GT took off with the princess' diamond Tiffany piece, they did what they intended and then fled to Canada where they simply disappeared into the crowds and eventually opened a small Irish pub in Quebec. The GT then mailed the princess three replica-dolls of the DC Comics characters they'd modeled themselves after for the daring burglary --- Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and Black Canary. When the princess received this GT doll-gift in the mail, she decided to keep it in her antique-room and told her friends and guests she'd been 'whirlwinded' by bizarre IRA ballerinas. What a story it was.

The princess decided to purchase a new ancient Chinese palace styled mansion in Beijing and called it the Dominion. This time, she'd keep things there that no one in their right mind would try to steal, regardless of intention or ingenuity. The princess employed more skilled and professional Chinese guardsmen who were always dressed in authentic Samurai dress and masks. Obviously, the princess sent the world the message that such a political stunt in the press for her thrilling reaction would ever be repeated, at least on her property.

GT: We did what we did, because we could do it with no violence or harm and for the benefit of a larger political community and with a certain media flair! This was a great trophy for Princess Elizabeth herself who discovered that modern luxury and wealth might afford someone a special window into the strange world of piracy! She must be commended for her courageous role in this unusual modern-day dollar-comedy story. We're quite humbled.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)