The Hannoush Heist: A Coronavirus Dream

An eccentric jewelry-store employee in Las Vegas decides to orchestrate a symbolic and dreamy heist during a celebrity concert weekend commemorating the fatigue of the Coronavirus.

Here's a fun Coronavirus fable about demonstrative hope, inspired by the film A Fish Called Wanda, so I hope you read it and like it! Thanks so much (signing off --- for real this time!),

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Ajay Satan was a proud Asian-Indian jewelry store manager at the MGM Casino in Las Vegas. He worked diligently and oversaw all operations and was preparing for the MGM to host a special Sheryl Crow concert benefitting victims of the Coronavirus pandemic in 2020. Ajay wanted to create some kind of jewelry marketing campaign for the charity event to draw attention to the lifestyle luxuries and ornaments and frills that helped people forget about the trauma of the global virus. Ajay Satan was therefore not only a typical capitalist merchant but also a rather clever modern-day knight!

Ajay collected fancy vegetation and plants and hung them vertically on the white wall of his mansion in Las Vegas. He showcased these plants to remind people of the lives lost during the Coronavirus pandemic. Ajay considered this display very important spiritually!

Ajay Satan's jewelry store at the MGM Casino in Las Vegas was about to get a new shipment of very impressive luxury jewels from India, which Ajay was going to sell during the Sheryl Crow concert weekend at the casino center. He decided to use images of beautiful Indian models wearing this jewelry for the upcoming influx of tourists seeking to celebrate enduring the Coronavirus pandemic by splurging with money and entertainment and general life color!

However, at the last minute, Ajay Satan decided to pull a complete shocking U-Turn and did something completely bizarre. On the weekend of the Sheryl Crow concert, Ajay decided to put on a special plastic mask and walk into his own jewelry store at the MGM Casino, claiming he was a terrorist plotting to kill Sheryl Crow in the name of anti-media rhetoric designed to slander America's vain and superficial celebrations of the Coronavirus pandemic endurance. No employee or customer at the high-end jewelry store at the MGM Casino wanted to get in the way of this 'masked maniac' and allowed Ajay to easily break the glass displays with his cane and grab the most expensive jewels and flee the casino with the booty.

Ajay left behind as a souvenir at the jewelry store a beautiful clear water-pistol so patrons and customers and the media would report that a rather 'theatrical' terrorist claiming to be making a loud statement about Americans' superficial celebration of the Coronavirus endurance and seeking to assassinate the celebrity musician Sheryl Crow at the MGM Casino. Such a media display would reflect Americans' curiosity about the use of the social pulpit as an arena for modern public drama!

The jewelry store Ajay robbed was a very high-end store indeed, and everyone was shocked to learn that Ajay walked away with over $20 million worth of jewelry. Ajay Satan hopped on a plane to the Virgin Islands and then called his jewelry store boss, the owner, Mr. Hannoush, and explained he fled to the islands to retire after hearing about the terrible heist made by the maniacal 'terrorist' seeking to assassinate the celebrity musician Sheryl Crow at the casino that weekend as a statement about Americans' vain use of media to celebrate Coronavirus endurance and resilience. Ajay told Mr. Hannoush that he just wanted to get away from all this anti-media cynicism which seemed to be hanging in the Western air ever since 9/11.

When Sheryl Crow heard about this heist, she was shocked and when she was asked about it by the press, she told them she never felt endangered or threatened and wondered who performed the heist and what the full motives actually were on that fateful weekend! Sheryl explained she was set to do a modeling photo-shoot in California and really had no time to wonder why a fanatic was busy making some deranged media statement about Coronavirus marketing vanities.

Ajay kept half of the $20 million worth of jewelry he stole from his own store and mailed the other half to a museum in Europe with the note, "These items should be put on display as examples of modern-day heists committed by political activists!" The $10 million worth of jewelry Ajay stole were indeed put on display at a European museum after Mr. Hannoush heard about this glorious return of half the items and wanted the museum exhibition to expand his store's media flowers regarding his own commitment to advertising modern-day disasters in the media and for the public!

Ajay bought a beautiful house in the Virgin Islands and decided to retire there with his $10 million. He opened an island bar called the Mystique and offered his guests awesome Pina Coladas.

Ajay used some of his money to purchase four very expensive Indian bangles, diamond-studded, which he mailed to Sheryl Crow with the note, "I hope this gift from the Virgin Islands helps relieve any trauma you may have experienced during that entire media heist Coronavirus anti-marketing terrorism business that weekend during your concert, Ms. Crow!" Sheryl was very grateful for the gorgeous bangles!

However, a shrewd FBI detective wasn't convinced that the thief responsible for the heist was a basic anti-media terrorist making some loud statement about vanities in the Coronavirus pandemic endurance marketing presentation! This detective wondered if the heist was committed by an actual employee of the jewelry store in Las Vegas who simply wanted to take advantage of all the commercial fears and post-virus worry among the American people! This detective was determined to understand the real motivation behind the clever thief's seemingly 'political' motivations!

Nevertheless, a comic book writer and artist decided to pen a fan-issue of the Phantom (King Features Syndicate) describing the politically-minded jewel-thief as a wily modern-day 'superhero' who used a heist to advertise humanity's problems with the use of media in the discussion of social malady! This comic book characterized the thief as a suave radical or 'rogue' who wanted to expose American media for its glaring loopholes while ironically coincidentally making Sheryl Crow an 'accidental martyr' for her role as the symbolic 'Coronavirus' maiden!

The Coronavirus pandemic did indeed produce a lot of symbolic artwork. Perhaps Ajay Satan was a modern-day Edward Abbey or a real-life Pink Panther. Whatever Ajay was really thinking, the entire heist drew more attention to the fact that the Coronavirus drew out humanity's sensitivity towards real world nightmares!

Ironically enough, the heist had drawn in many more customers to Mr. Hannoush's high-end jewelry store in Las Vegas. Hannoush himself told the press, "Perhaps this will augment my sale of Eastern jewelry and maybe even bring in the interest of worldly investors!"

Sheryl Crow meanwhile gave a fun outdoor concert in Arizona during which she called the jewel thief in Las Vegas the real-life 'Phantom' and wanted to know what he thought would comprise a more 'objective' form of Coronavirus media prayer. During the exciting concert, Sheryl Crow told her fans that Americans are special for their unique love of social dilemmas.

Was Ajay Satan a lunatic or a priest? Was he just a clever thief or a man with a mission? He certainly highlighted the general post-virus media tone of human beings seeking to use dramatic words to comfort each other about creative resilience. Ironically. Sheryl Crow's album sales soared after the otherwise very other-worldly incident.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)