The Barbie-Doll Collector

An eccentric American collects Barbie-dolls to meditate on the mysticism of capitalism, but he may exhibit dark threads of unusual traffic inventiveness.

Sorry friends, I've decided to sign off with a more standard ghost-story.



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Alas was an eccentric Algerian-American who liked collecting Barbie-dolls since he was 20. He'd collected over 1000 Barbie-dolls in just 10 years and was now 30. Alas believed a Barbie symbolized modern (21st Century) consumerism mysticism and wanted to praise and appraise the iconic American dolls as trophies of capitalism vitality. His office-friend found Alas' collection and thought he was a closet sentimentalist or perhaps homosexual, so Alas killed him to guard the secret hobby which was really a borderline obsession.

You see, Alas believed all the Barbies were identical in metaphysical weight and treated them as Occult relics of money ornaments. They could represent just about any gorgeous American woman walking down the street near Alas' house and/or office. When Alas realized his unusual metaphysical obsession was threatened by exposure or corruption, he'd turn into a dark-sided maniac. This was the opposite of chivalry. Alas believed some if his dolls spoke to him, and one might wonder if his collection was somehow haunted!

Alas took some of his dolls one day down to the docks and met a fisherman named Eleazar. He told Eleazar his Barbies were immaculate, and Eleazar gave him a stunned stare and asked him to consider the real spiritual value of his unusual doll collection. Eleazar told Alas he'd become like a fictional character from an American ghost-story, so Alas pulled out his switchblade and slit the poor fisherman's throat, allowing him to just bleed to death right there on the fishing docks in the small hours of the morning.

ALAS: "I don't consider myself a true genius. I'm merely a sensitized American consumer who wants to inhale the stained-glass fumes of modern capitalism, hopefully to send anti-American terrorists the real message that toys and commerce reveal timeless charm...and perhaps black magic. When a random woman walking down the street in America randomly seems like a real-life Barbie-doll to me, I'll have realized I was provided a human omen about obsessive theater and only then feel required to end my crafty mission!"

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