Thomas Crown Affair (Fan-Fiction)

A Story by Abishai100

Two wizards perform an English heist to downplay the allure of anti-capitalism terrorism, but will the media allow such drama?

Since WritersCafe is so illustrative and creative, I couldn't resist presenting one more capitalism-patriotism vignette, a story about an English heist during a soccer game mean to curb the interests in anti-capitalism terrorism. This final fan-fiction yarn was inspired by the film The Thomas Crown Affair, but it's not directly a reworking of the plot.

I really hope you read it...and like it!

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Cyclonus, a robot from the A.I. planet of Cybertron, landed on Earth and hid in the Grand Canyon while using spy-beams to observe human civilization. Cyclonus discovered America was the nation that led the world on Earth and was marshaled by a superhero vigilante named Flash, a masked man of incredible speed. Cyclonus used his communication beams to make contact with the mind-energy of Flash.

Cyclonus transformed himself into a handsome European man named Stan, and Flash decided to pose as a radical Internet-blogging political cartoonist named Barry! Stan and Barry became fast friends and decided to rob the gold from the Bank of England while the Queen was visiting, in the hope of using the heist to promote Robin Hood folklore. This was modern democracy!

Stan and Barry met two beautiful Italian women in London named Monica and Danica and started courting them. They had no idea their boyfriends were Cyclonus and Flash or that Stan and Barry intended to rob the Bank of England of its gold from the vault-room while the Queen was visiting for a media event in July! Monica and Danica became the muses of the heist, and Stan and Barry intended to celebrate with them after the success.

Stan and Barry entered the Bank of England wearing clown masks when the Queen arrived there, pretending to be fancy entertainers commissioned by the English people! However, once the Queen was inside, Stan and Barry replaced their clown masks with ski-masks and proceeded to take the Queen hostage in front of the TV cameras. This was high drama and quite funny.

The Bank of England remained a prestigious and respected financial institution and as valued in global capitalism as the destroyed World Trade Center in NYC! Stan and Barry wanted to steal gold from the Bank and give the booty to the poor people of London and report the deed in the press as a modern-day Robin Hood achievement. This was all for modern democratic idealism. Would they succeed?

The Queen had arrived with her escorts and consorts and was at first guided through the gold vault-room inside the Bank and was quite impressed with the holdings. Stan and Barry waited until the Queen had come out of the vault-room to hold her hostage at gunpoint. The Queen was never harmed or shocked in any way, however!

During the media event, the major power-players from Euronext and Lloyds of London were having a meeting about trading gold in the Middle East. Stan and Barry had no idea but when they discovered this, they decided they'd keep the robbery very quiet, since the meeting-room was completely closed off to the public. They could then state in the press, "We allowed the power-meeting to proceed smoothly while we conducted our Robin Hood affairs!"

The workers and tellers and customers inside the Bank of England that day were very normally moving around and working and conducting their business. This made it rather smooth for Stan and Barry to conduct their gold robbery. Before they entered the bank, they scrambled the computer-security system with a virus, so the alarms never went off, giving them ample time to steal the gold while keeping the Queen hostage! It was therefore a shockingly normal day.

The guns Stan and Barry carried were two sets of guns, two normal handguns and two silver handguns. The silver handguns are what really unnerved the security personnel who dared not try to be heroic and endanger the welfare of the hostage Queen. Stan and Barry were very professional regardless. Their silver guns were left behind and would be presented in a London museum just two months later!

On the day of the Queen's visit to the Bank, the English Premier League teams Chelsea and Arsenal were having a symbolic UEFA game in London! These two rival teams would have a great contest, and the Hollywood (USA) foxy actress Jessica Biel and the Princess, Kate Middleton attended the game together as fans. Stan and Barry intended to rob the gold from the Bank, hide it, and then attend the Chelsea-Arsenal game, hoping to meet Jessica and Kate in person (and on camera!).

Jessica Biel and Princess Middleton looked very attractive, and Stan and Barry arrived at the game and introduced themselves as European photojournalists who happened to be fans of Chelsea! Jessica and Middleton told Stan and Barry that they too were fans of Chelsea. Stan and Barry decided to play a little game with Jessica on camera.

They fitted Jessica with a hat-and-mask and told her to stare into the TV camera, while they held up a instantly-made hand-board signpost which read, "The Queen is at the Bank of England today, and no one will dare rob it!" This was a publicity-stunt to complement their gold robbery. It was quite clever.

The police were completely baffled, and Stan and Barry had pulled off a quiet swift heist on that warm July day in England. They stole over $20 million in gold from the Bank and hid it in the basement of a university library where Barry had connections. Barry explained to Stan (Cyclonus the robot!) that he agreed to do this robbery with him to hype the folklore-mystique of Robin Hood, so people around the world would heal their scars from the anti-capitalism violence of 9/11, when terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center!

One month later, the Prince and Princess of Monaco visited the Queen and Kate Middleton to console them about the trauma of the robbery of gold from the Bank of England by the two wily clown-pretenders who turned out to be professional gold-robbers! Kate Middleton showed them the photo of Hollywood actress Jessica Biel who was photographed during the Chelsea-Arsenal game by two mysterious 'European photojournalists' whom they'd befriended but who had disappeared. The Prince and Princess of Monaco remarked that these two 'Robin Hood lads' (who'd sent the London Times details of how they gave their gold-to-money converted booty to the poor people of London) had sent serious media-waves throughout Europe!

Stan (Cyclonus) and Barry (Flash) used a portion of their stolen gold to have a custom-made gold piano made, which they housed in a special history museum in Spain. The gold piano represented the fortunes and wealth of Europe, and Barry had claimed it was constructed using fortunes acquired from his royal family friends. Stan and Barry would use this gold piano as a symbol of their elation of hyping Robin Hood imagination in a modern millennium fraught with all kinds of capitalism indulgences...and anti-capitalism terrorism.

Stan (Cyclonus) and Barry (Flash) used the remainder of their booty to spend a vacation time in London with their two Italian girlfriends Monica and Danica. They had a marvelous time, and the two gorgeous women made them promise to return one day to Europe to reconnect! Stan and Barry had pulled off a miracle, and they considered Monica and Danica crowning pieces in their special 'Robin Hood' affair meant to heal the scars of anti-capitalism terrorism.

Since terrorism in the new era was mostly conducted by fundamentalist Muslims, Stan and Barry decided to hype their successful Robin Hood deed by promoting the stylish robbery film The Thomas Crown Affair (starring Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway). They told people on the streets of London that capitalism could be a thing of ABCD imagination, and they distributed free playing-cards with poster-images of the film printed on them. This was modern-day ABCD political criticism!