Minotaur Christmas

A young American man named Alas must journey through a labyrinth in D.C. to recover magical Christmas sweaters made by a priest and stolen by the terrifying Minotaur!

I've retired from short-stories on the Internet (Writer's Café), but I had to return for a holiday season fable about a fantastic modern-day American warrior traveling through a terrifying Minotaur's maze to recover enchanted Christmas sweaters for American youngsters! This story was on my mind for some time, and I wanted to post it as a Christmas cheer, which is why I returned and why I'm hoping readers/friends will like it!

Merry Christmas,

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Alas was an Ivy League graduate and traveled to Nepal after school to meditate about Christianity and chivalry philosophy. He decided to become a Christian 'knight' in modern times and returned to America with an interest in helping companies in Washington (D.C.) market terrific warm sweaters to youngsters (mostly homeless!) during the Christmas season. Alas had trained to be a swordsman in Nepal and a Biblical scholar in college but now his attention was turned to bringing holiday cheer to under-represented youngsters living in the D.C. area! Alas made a deal with a Christian church in D.C. to distribute special Christmas sweaters for the proverbial '12 days of Christmas.'

The Church of Good Hope (in D.C.) made the great covenant with the idealistic Alas for Christmas that year! The head pastor of the church, Father Brown, agreed to help knit special-print Christmas sweaters for distribution. These sweaters were specially-made to feature geometric but colorful prints/designs and resembled table-settings or computer-graphics (or both!). Alas thanked Father Brown for the awesome Christmas sweaters he was able to make/collect for the Christmas distribution project. Alas even took one of these sweaters for himself, a nifty little light-blue Christmas sweater featuring a neat print of elves cheering on a night-club dancer/playmate!

Unfortunately, there was some controversy generated by the sweaters, since a more conservative Christian group noted that the Christmas sweaters intended to be distributed by Alas' mission were, in fact, somewhat more 'varied' and 'too secular' or 'too worldly' for inclusion in standard Christmas markets! That's because some of these sweaters featured women in bikinis or NFL team logos or even known American toy logos. However, Alas insisted that the Christmas sweaters were all 'kosher' and featured no nudity and represented the variegated interests of today's under-represented youngsters who were 'keen' on the kinds of 'colored' imagery found in American markets/goods today!

Unfortunately, a demonic presence descended on D.C. to create tremors. Even though Alas managed to persuade everyone that the Christmas sweater distribution project was certainly wholesome, beneficial, and kosher/wise, the idealism behind the mission was going to be challenged by this new demonic force. This demon was the underworld adversary known as the Minotaur (a half-human, half-bull creature with fierce strength!). The Minotaur stole all the sweaters from the Church of Good Hope and erected a wall-maze in D.C. Park and challenged Alas (the good knight!) to come retrieved the sweaters for the youngsters...if he dared!

ALAS: Why'd you steal all our sacred Christmas sweaters?
MINOTAUR: How'd you get through my difficult maze, good knight?

ALAS: I simply conceived of where you'd be hiding with the sweaters!
MINOTAUR: How'd you surmise such a thing, you clever rascal?
ALAS: I just imagined the place a cunning beast like you would be lurking.
MINOTAUR: Fine; well, I stole your D.C. Christmas sweaters to send a message!
ALAS: What's this special message, Minotaur?
MINOTAUR: Firstly, I have to tell you, I'm from the underworld.
ALAS: We all know that; I want to understand your intention!
MINOTAUR: My intention is to send the message that consumerism is neglected.
ALAS: Neglected?

MINOTAUR: Yes, youngsters and parents take for granted the joys of Christmas shopping.

ALAS: So you're punishing this great American city for this human folly, Minotaur?
MINOTAUR: I will pardon this indiscretion if you can answer my riddle, good knight!
ALAS: Agreed; what's the shape of this terrific riddle, Minotaur?
MINOTAUR: "Why is decapitation so bloody?"
ALAS: Bloody?
MINOTAUR: Yes, if a soldier/terrorist decapitates someone, there's lots of blood!
ALAS: Sure there is...
MINOTAUR: So the question concerns why there's so much blood, since decapitation is so 'swift.'
ALAS: Perhaps decapitation is darn bloody, since we all value the wealth in our heads!
MINOTAUR: That's a clever response, good knight, but are all Americans of 'sound mind' today?
ALAS: Perhaps not all people are 'wise' in the head all the time, but we all deserve respect!
MINOTAUR: So why exactly is decapitation so bloody if the human head is so neat?
ALAS: I'd wager that decapitation produces much blood to remind us that intelligence is muscular.
MINOTAUR: Muscular?
ALAS: Yes, intelligence requires a certain/special focus on the contours of will and courage!
MINOTAUR: I see; so people who are arrogant towards Christmas/consumerism are being 'savage.'
ALAS: Precisely; they simply neglect their own IQ lingering in their swollen heads!
MINOTAUR: Alright; I accept your response as 'appropriate' so you may take your sweaters.
ALAS: Thanks so much, Minotaur; now return to the Underworld.

MINOTAUR: Agreed; Merry Christmas, good knight.
ALAS: We'll make sure these Christmas sweaters create wise holiday-season caution.
MINOTAUR: Excellent.

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