Cyclonus of Medici (Transformers Fan-Fiction)

Cyclonus is a wolfish jet-fighter robot who's in Italy trying to destroy the Leaning Tower of Pisa but is contested by the United Nations who entreat the alien-robot to show more direct mercy!

Cyclonus was a wolfish first-knight robot of the diabolical robot army called Decepticons. Cyclonus and the Decepticons hailed from the A.I. robot-planet of Cybertron, far away from our planet Earth. Cyclonus transformed from a standing warrior robot into a laser-enhanced purple jet-fighter. Cyclonus wanted to leave Cybertron and his Decepticon army and go on a solo-mission to Earth to investigate the scope and maturity of human civilization there and to see if any invasion or colonization scheme would be warranted and tactical. He'd bring back the strategic news to his Decepticon army on Cybertron and hopefully be commended for his special act of investigative intelligence. Cyclonus set out to Earth and reached Earth's moon and perched there to build a temporary spy-station from which he'd monitor various human civilization activities.

Cyclonus picked up signals from CNN and BBC and MTV on Earth and noted how America was the planet's unofficial 'Big Brother' of diplomacy and commerce and strong-arm of political and military intelligence. Cyclonus noted that Americans were huge fans of capitalism and consumerism and enjoyed eating delicious cheeseburgers and soothing milkshakes and purchasing and downloading movies on Netflix. Cyclonus noted that Americans were leaders in industry as well as fashion in the 21st Century when commerce really reigned over politics and capitalism-baron Donald Trump was elected as President of the nation! Cyclonus also noted that other parts of the world tried to keep pace with American capitalism and globalized consumerism by hoisting flags with pact-blocs such as the European Union and OPEC. Cyclonus wondered if all this flurry of commerce made humans something like 'soda-guzzling ants.'

Cyclonus took notes about the strengths and flaws of human civilization. The shrewd warrior robot decided that human commerce was largely based on the aesthetics of transit and contracts and the reliability of communications and computers. In fact, much of the world's business was greased and facilitated by the 'Internet.' Cyclonus reasoned that human civilization functioned like an 'electric map' of ant-like commerce movements. The wily robot wondered if such a planet was 'ripe' for invasion or colonization and could be 'converted' by the Decepticons into a planet of efficient and obedient energy-producing laborers. Such a transformation would turn Earth into a juicy ripe orange of great resource extraction and commercial indulgences. Cyclonus assembled his report for the Decepticons before heading away from Earth's moon and flying towards the White House in Washington (home of the American President Donald Trump).

Cyclonus made contact with humans on the White House lawn and was invited by President Trump to talk about the nature of intelligence on the A.I. robot planet of Cybertron and why the warrior robot was visiting Earth randomly! Cyclonus told the President that he was 'surveying' the activities of human civilization and taking notes about what made capitalism and globalization systemics on Earth such a fertile 'machine.' Trump realized Cyclonus, despite being a rather fierce-looking warrior robot, was really visiting Earth as a sort of 'anthropologist' and taking notes on humanity's sense of imagination and sociological activity. Trump suggested Cyclonus fly around the world and see other parts of the planet and take notes on what makes America so outstanding but what also makes other major nations in Europe and elsewhere (such as Italy and China) symbolic of human majesty.

Cyclonus decided to fly to Italy and see various parts of modern culture as remnants of the great Roman Empire which was the predecessor to new age empire building daydreams and great and lofty architectural ambitions. Cyclonus noted that Italians celebrated all kinds of zesty foods (like lasagna, pizza, pasta, sweets, and fish) as well as great wines. The wily robot also noted that Italians were big fans of music and celebrating the architectural history of Rome and what made that ancient Empire such a marvel (and monolithic mountain!). Cyclonus visited the strange but symbolic Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy and decided to destroy the structure to suddenly warn humans that he'd return to Cybertron and bring back his Decepticon army to formally invade and colonize Earth. World armies assembled and were organized by the United Nations to achieve stability and American President Donald Trump implored Cyclonus not to turn to the dark side of alien contact!

TRUMP: We implore you not to destroy the sacred Leaning Tower of Pisa!

CYCLONUS: I'm seeking to create an ode to future invasion, Mr. President.
TRUMP: Cyclonus, we only want you and your robot friends to think fondly of humans.

CYCLONUS: Your planet is well-oiled and ripe for profitable colonization, Trump!
TRUMP: Isn't the sign of great commercial energy on Earth a reminder of the wisdom of peace?

CYCLONUS: Your ant-like devotion to consumerism only makes you ants in a machine of money.
TRUMP: That's not true, Cyclonus; capitalism and consumerism are about human networks.

CYCLONUS: No, commerce on your little planet is really about access and gratification!
TRUMP: Listen, why don't you consider accepting an honorary teaching position in Medici?

CYCLONUS: Medici?
TRUMP: Yes, the University of Medici (in Italy) is looking for a radical new political-science teacher.

CYCLONUS: What the hell do I know about political-science, Mr. President?
TRUMP: You surely understand the scope and intrigue of commercial networks on our vibrant planet.

CYCLONUS: So you want me to present notes or ideas about commercial vitality in planetary hubs?

TRUMP: Doesn't that sound more 'pleasing' than simply destroying our society and seeking colonization?

CYCLONUS: Well, understand we robots of Cybertron are primarily interested in profitability.

TRUMP: Surely there is profitability in the exchange of ideas and erudition regarding profit-sharing!

CYCLONUS: So by becoming a 'guru' on your planet you seek to entreat me and Cybertronians.
TRUMP: Yes, we want you and your robot friends (the Decepticons!) to meditate on vibrancy.

CYCLONUS: Are you implying that my proposition to create efficient colonialism is savage?
TRUMP: I'm merely arguing Cyclonus that your insistence to seek domination may be hasty!

CYCLONUS: Well, I don't know if I want to be a guru or teacher in Medici (Italy).

TRUMP: Return to Cybertron and tell your Decepticon allies that you're invited to be 'angels.'

CYCLONUS: So you want me to deliver this message of diplomacy and return as an educator?
TRUMP: Why not substitute intellectual or imaginative activity for outright oppression?
CYCLONUS: It seems Mr. President that your focus on commerce reliability has made you a philosopher!

TRUMP: I'm certain you'll see the basic wisdom of considering intellectualism as a substitute for oppression.

CYCLONUS: Well, I'll return to Cyberton and relay this offer to make me a 'guru' of political-science machinery.

TRUMP: Yes, and then honestly consider why being a professor in Medici is preferable to being...a tyrant!

CYCLONUS: I admit I'm impressed by human civilization intricacies and am considering 'academic' paths.

TRUMP: You must remember that contact with a species devoted to vital commerce inspires religiosity.

CYCLONUS: We're atheists on Cybertron, but I do like your idea that commerce creates magic.

TRUMP: Return to Cybertron and tell the Decepticons of human magic and return as a laureled guru!

CYCLONUS: I will return to my robot planet and relay this offer...and we'll see if your planet will 'rise.'

TRUMP: That's all I ask, mighty robot!

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