Elmer's Modern Milk Company: A Cowboy Story

Elmer is a handsome young American man and cowboy who wants to start a cattle-ranch in Colorado in the summer of 2020, but he faces the challenges of a truly modern 'cynical' audience.

Elmer was a real cowboy. Having graduated from the iconic Deep Springs ranching-and-education school, Elmer developed a deep admiration for capitalism and the enterprise of the modern dreamer in America. Elmer always wore a distinctive black cowboy hat and was attractive to members of the opposite sex, but he wanted to settle down very soon with an 'old fashioned cowgirl' after realizing his post-graduate American Dream of running/managing a successful milk distribution company through his new cattle-ranch in Colorado! All Elmer needed was the right team of investors and the right group of people working at his side. He had read much about capitalism-theory and was a big fan of symbolic American films glorifying capitalism such as Giant (Rock Hudson), The Aviator (Leo DiCaprio), and Sweet Dreams (Jessica Lange).

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Elmer had a vision to run his milk distribution company through his new cattle-ranch in Colorado, and he got the money for his ranch from his wealthy father who was rather proud of his earnest son's post-graduate cattling ambitions, especially since very few venture capitalists in the 21st Century really dreamed of 'classic routes' to fortune. However, Elmer was a 'traditionalist' despite having grown up watching MTV and playing on iPods and watching his mother shop on QVC(!). Elmer had the startup funds to open his grand cattle-ranch in Colorado and recruited his friends and a handful of his father's trusted business associates to help him manage the ranch and the milk distribution company attached to it. All the cows for Elmer's ranch would be of high breeding quality and would be well-cared for and kept active/fitness (as if they were 'rustled and exercised cattle' from the old days of America!).

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The milk distribution company attached to Elmer's Colorado ranch (which was named Elmer's Dream) would be called the American Milk Bottle, since it would sell bottled/pasteurized milk to supermarkets across America(!). American Milk Bottle (AMB) would hopefully rival big name companies in the milk-supermarket industry such as Parmalat (boxed milk) and Fairlife (bottled milk)! Elmer would be sure that the ranchers on his Colorado ranch were excellent cowboys/cowgirls and knew real well how to care for and milk the cows/cattle that would provide AMB their necessary 'gold water.' Elmer recruited the right investors to invest in AMB and he managed to convince them that the way he would connect this dream-ranch to his bottled-milk company would reflect his commitment to capitalism-theory as well as general American marketing rhetoric. Elmer's father was really impressed, as the young American cowboy managed to nab key investors which helped him start his milk distribution company.

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Within 5 years, AMB became a major milk distribution company and most supermarkets along the West Coast at least were now carrying bottles of AMB. In fact, AMB soon became very popular and started rivaling some of the brand-names out there including California Milk and Omega-D(!). At one point, AMB was right behind Parmalat in sales-figures, but did not yet reach the top-level position, still held by Fairlife! Elmer celebrated with his co-workers, ranchers, and parents and toasted to the American Dream which he wrought from hard work and imagination after graduating from Deep Springs. To Elmer, AMB became a trophy symbolic of his social admiration for what capitalism could be, rather than what capitalism often became because of profiteers and pirates. Yes, Elmer was a real American dreamer who made the American Dream seem rather shiny and impressive.

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Elmer met a beautiful Colorado girl, 29 years-old, named Sally, who attended Texas University and was the daughter of a wealthy Texan oil-baron named James Rink. Sally Rink fell in love with Elmer and his humble but daydreaming attitude towards his successful milk distribution company AMB and the American Dream itself. Elmer and Sally married in the summer of 2028 and had their first child, a beautiful baby boy in 2029 and named him Clark(!). Everything was going beautifully for Elmer. This was the American Dream at its finest. Elmer smoked a cigar with his father and reminisced on all the hard work and creativity that made his ranch, 'Elmer's Dream' and the bottled-milk company (AMB) connected to it. Elmer's father suddenly warned his successful son not to let success and fortune make him arrogant and suggested to him to branch out in the American 'fabric' by becoming a philanthropist.

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Elmer took his father's advice and decided to link AMB to a philanthropy division of the eco-activism group, managed by a real American movie-star, the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation (LDF). Soon, AMB became a key sponsor of LDF's activities, and Elmer started getting subtle hints that AMB should start branching out into the organic milk market(!). However, amidst all this success, Elmer's ties to LDF suddenly cast him into the spotlight of America's celebrity circles, and Elmer found himself partying and mingling with celebrities like Tom Hanks, Jeff Bridges, Jennifer Connelly, and Woody Harrelson. Elmer even gave a bunch of money for Woody's new eco-conscious oxygen bar enterprise called the O-Bar(!). It was during this mingling in the celebrity spotlight that Elmer started being exposed to the glamour and glitz of the American celebrity 'world.'

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ELMER: "I'm writing this diary entry to reflect on the industriousness and imagination that helped me make my Colorado ranch and AMB great totems to the American Dream in the 21st Century. However, all the glorious successes and the happy family life it afforded me with my beautiful wife and awesome son made me see the stark contrast to the glamour and glitter of the celebrity-world, as AMB ties in capitalism and PR-activity to celebrity-managed groups (including LDF) compelled me to become a 'socialite.' As I write in this diary and compare the industriousness and good old fashioned daydreaming that made AMB an American 'trophy' and star to the glitter of the celebrity-consciousness in the modern world, I wonder how America continues to negotiate dreams with luster. Thank goodness I have a solid Christian background to help me muddle through any potential 'metaphysical threat' to my idealistic vision of a 'classic' American experience. I'm optimistic about continued humility and continued pizzazz."

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*TO BE CONTINUED...*