Scorpion Snap-Dragon of Syria

A terrible Facebook Internet virus leads CIA agent Jack Ryan to Syria, where he uncovers a strange metallic Islamic 'relic' that releases the mystical creature the Scorpion Snap-Dragon (SSD).

Jack Ryan was at his office cubical at the CIA headquarters in D.C. and reading about an awful Facebook Internet virus that was released into the network last week. The virus was scrambling profile-pages on Facebook, causing all members to lose their personal photos and seeing their photos appear on the pages of other members they were not linked to on the board(!). The CIA called this terrible Facebook virus the 'Scorpion' because it created creepy poisonous labyrinths of unwanted activity. Jack had a personal theory about who made the virus and why it was made...

For years now, CNN news was reporting on the scandalous Twitter-comments ('tweets') of U.S. President Donald Trump. Jack believed anti-American terrorists in the Middle East were watching these Western news-stories and 'gathering fuel' for anti-media platforms/rhetoric(!). After all, radical anti-American terrorists could claim Western/American media was hypnotized by mob stories about political corruption and could use such a claim to label Western journalism as scandal-fixated. Jack therefore believed the Facebook virus 'Scorpion' originated somewhere in the Middle East!

Jack presented his theory to his CIA director and was complimented on the general deductive essence of it(!). Jack was to be sent to Syria to follow up on a CIA lead on an ISIS radical terrorist base there possibly developing anti-Western computer viruses that would threaten the NSA's new cyber-security division. Jack was excited for the mission and was sure this ISIS base in Syria was somehow linked to the terrible Facebook virus 'Scorpion.' Jack arrived in Syria and was positioned in the right area as an American journalist. He followed the CIA's leads towards the hidden ISIS base and found it...located in the basement of a rental-hostel where various Middle Eastern diplomats stayed while on vacation!

Jack sneaked into the basement of the Syrian diplomat-hostel carrying his small self-assembled silencer-handgun and executed the three ISIS terrorists stationed there in masks. He spared the one ISIS agent who was working on the computer in that hostel-basement and began interrogating the terrorist about the Facebook virus 'Scorpion.' The terrorist revealed at gunpoint that his ISIS brethren were attempting to destabilize the entire American network on Facebook and send the NSA into a frenzy. Jack wanted to know more, but the terrorist refused to say more and instead lunged towards Jack in a suicidal gesture, forcing CIA agent Jack Ryan to shoot him in the head...

Jack rummaged through that basement searching for more clues and found a trap-door lid on the basement floor(!). He opened the door and found a tunnel. As Jack made his way through the tunnel, he discovered a strange large metallic sculpture of a robot-scorpion. Jack was dumbfounded. Was this ISIS monument a representation of the Facebook virus Scorpion? Jack decided to touch the metallic sculpture, and when he did, the tunnel began to shake. Suddenly, Jack heard a grumbling sound. What emerged was a giant silver Scorpion creature. Jack fled the tunnel and hostel and radioed the local U.S. security/army in that area of Syria and informed President Trump that ISIS was hiding a mystical predatory creature.

Jack was given authority to lead a group of U.S. soldiers to hunt and destroy the giant underground 'silver scorpion' being kept by ISIS. Jack Ryan and his team entered the sewers beneath the tunnels underneath that Syrian dpolomat-hostel which obviously served as a secret ISIS base and began hunting for the silver scorpion. Not only did they find the creature, but they discovered it could speak(!). Jack took the lead and offered to debate with the intelligent other-worldly creature to uncover its loyalty to ISIS.

JACK: What the hell are you?
SSD: I am the Scorpion Snap-Dragon ('SSD')!
JACK: Are you tied to the Facebook virus known as Scorpion?
SSD: I was the 'inspiration' for the Facebook virus, Jack...
JACK: How'd you know my name?
SSD: My cybernetic powers extend to telepathy.
JACK: Why are you bound to ISIS?
SSD: My purpose is to serve as a reserve attack-force force for Syrian grids.
JACK: So ISIS was sending the Facebook virus Scorpion while creating a defense plan.
SSD: Our 'agenda' was to create a cyber and terrestrial dual plan of attack!
JACK: What happens if ISIS fails to destabilize the American Internet?
SSD: In that case, I will retreat back to where I came from...the abyss.
JACK: Well, we can kill you right now.
SSD: That's impossible; I'm impervious to bullets and I self-regenerate!
JACK: We could fire a missive at your head, SSD...
SSD: You can't use fear to persuade me to betray ISIS.
JACK: Why're you so loyal to ISIS?
SSD: Islam is threatened by Western civilization...Judaism is not!
JACK: So the only way we can avoid your 'presence' is by securing the Internet?
SSD: If your Internet is stable, I will remain in the abyss and not attack.
JACK: Well, I suppose the U.S. has no choice but to focus on NSA-cyber(!).
SSD: You're wise, Jack; for I am immortal and can't simply be 'destroyed.'
JACK: Thanks for your honesty, SSD; we'll work to secure the Internet and deter war.
SSD: Good...