Hopeless love

I'm in love with moon

I adore it

But why would it care?

It just smiles and I'm

Overwhelmed with joy

 

Bright, beautiful, splendid

And magnificent it is.

And to touch it I crave

But why would it care?

It just smiles and I'm

Overwhelmed with joy

 

Sometimes I peep out of my window

To have a glimpse of it

Sometimes I stare for a while

From my balcony

And Sometimes I stay inside

To see if it misses me

But why would it care?

It just smiles and I'm

Overwhelmed with joy.

 

Though I am aware

Of its indifference to me.

But I still crave for it.

I gloom when it hides

In the cloud and fog.

I wander restlessly

Here and there to have a look.

And then it appears,

 Again it smiles.

And yet again I'm

Overwhelmed with joy.

 

I wait for the day

The day it'll miss me too

The day it'll also look for me

And on that day

I would like to see its smile

And I can only imagine

 How beautiful it would be

I wait for that day

And it's more pleasant

Than anything else I can imagine

Even if I'm waiting in vain.

 

Reviews

[Nabeeha Mustafa]

Beautifully expressed. (Y) Great words. Keep up the good work :)

[Abilash Uttama]

Thanks :)

[Arunima]

You sound like a small child,craving and hopelessly in love with the moon.....

to the moon---
"IN MY DREAMS YOU ARE MINE ,
BUT IN MY LIFE YOU ARE JUST A DREAM.."

[Abilash Uttama]

These are beautiful lines, liked them.

[Arunima]

PLEASURE'S ALL MINE!!
did u see the change i made in my profile name,bro?????

[Abilash Uttama]

Killer, yeah :D

[Arunima]

hehe...:P really enjoying my new name... thank you!XXX

[Abilash Uttama]

You're welcome:p

[Isabel25]

I guess we are both waiting in vain. It is sad and beautiful and profound with dreams that would never get realised. It is human nature to get attracted to exactly what is forbidden to you. And no matter how many times you are hurt, you still go behind temptation. I guess it shows how we never really give up and hope that the next time will do the trick.
I really like it, because I can understand the situation.

In the fourth stanza, the 'but' in the third line is not required as you have used a 'though' in the first line. Also a comma would be more effective after 'indifference to me' than a full stop.

I hope you don't mind me doing this. If you do please let me know.

[Abilash Uttama]

Thank you very much for your valuable suggestion, i can really use the help and i have surpassed this situation, there is a limit after which you break. i wrote 'part of me' after this, which you have already read.

[Isabel25]

Happy to know that you have surpassed it :)

[Megha]

feelings very well expressed.. umm a moon, its easy to relate people with a moon.. but it truly shows the hopeless love we have for people (moon) :D

[Abilash Uttama]

thanks for stopping by :)

[nazia]

Loved your love story with the moon. It has a sort of Indian essence and being a proud Indian I applaud you for that.:)

[Abilash Uttama]

thank you so much Nazia, indeed we are proud Indians :)

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

I have no words . its fantastic and heart touching. I loved it

[Abilash Uttama]

I'm glad you liked it, thanks for stopping by :)

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

it was my good luck that I read your poetry .

[Ishita Dixit]

We've all played hide n seek with the moon!
Its super fun!
Loved the idea and the poem! :)

[Abilash Uttama]

thanks Ishita :)

[armin]

I liked the simplicity of the words, which directly came out of your heart.

armin. ...

[Abilash Uttama]

thanks Armin :)

[Daffodils]

Full of sense. I love it :) There is a meaning behind the words

[Abilash Uttama]

I'm glad you liked it :)

[Rasha Lama]

wow. I love the repetition and the hidden meaning behind it wow amazing work!

[Abilash Uttama]

thanks for your valuable time :)