Not With You

A poem about fading love, and also finding a new partner

Roses are red and violets are blue,
Yes I'm in love,but not with you.
Should've told me from the start,
Instead of going around breaking my heart.

You told your friends how you made me cry,
How you left me high and dry,
How you kept on breaking my trust
Go ahead and say it,if you must

Yeah you can go around saying how you played me,
But what goes around comes around girl you'll see.
Now I got a new girlfriend and she's nothing like you.
And yes I'm in love but not with you.

Reviews

[Rachael]

I like how you started with the over-said and over-used statement that roses are red and violets are blue, and how you repeated the line, "Yes I'm in love, but not with you."

The whole poem flows well, and you did a nice job describing everything that went on.

[TamerQtaish]

At first i was like, I read that before, clever!
But then you went for that amazing twist,
Loved it totally, damn know how that feels too!

Great work, keep it up,
Tamer

[Jade VK]

ouch for that girl ...
nice flow :)

[Francez]

Nice writing! I like the theme and the flow!

[Anski]

i loved this one
just like rachel said,it flowed well
great work

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Hey, I really like this! I think some more needs to be added to it and it needs a hook verse and a different title like maybe (Not With You) but this would make a great song. Just because it's a bit campy with the old "roses are red" line does not automatically disqualify it from being good song material. Some of the best songs have really corny lines but the public relate because the great mass of people are not philosophers and poets. I write music and I like this. It's simple and straight to the point. Good work.

[Terence Foster]

nice poem there.
this was so quick paced
more like a song,i agree,but cute nonetheless

[Abhinav]

thank you sooo much for the reviews guyssss!

[JudeTrain]

An interesting poem, its very quick paced and i enjoyed that. Its pretty well balanced, the only thing i didn't like is at the end when you tried to rhyme you with, you. but whatever, well done 80/100