Death Day

A meeting between the grip reaper and an average American citizen turns into a funny tale.

Characters
Martin:Just an average man in his late 20's,who is married and lives in a suburb on the outside of New York City
Death:The ultimate conqueror of life who is sent by God to pick up dead people's souls

(Martin is sitting in his room,reading a novel.It is past midnight.He is distracted from his reading by a hard knock on his door)
MARTIN:(to himself)Who the hell is calling at this time?
(walks up to the door and opens it.Retreats back in shock as he comes face to face with a man dressed in black all over,and hiding his face under a black cloak.)
MARTIN:(nervously)y..y...yes?
DEATH:Martin!
MARTIN:How do you know my name,and who are you?
DEATH:I am death.....
MARTIN:Ha!....death,indeed......(starts laughing).........who are you kidding?
DEATH:No one...........I have come to take you to your final destination in life,the spiritual abode above heaven.
MARTIN:Sorry,not interested!
(slams the door shut)
MARTIN:(to himself)What a fool......maybe just some kid in a costume trying to- AWWWWWW!!!
(Death is standing right behind him)
MARTIN:You...................how,h..h...how?
DEATH:You can't ignore your fate,Martin Biggs
MARTIN:What the-
DEATH:Martin Biggs,age 29,wife's name Betty,age 27,currently in New York,around 50 miles north from here,your occupation journalist at the American daily.............
MARTIN:Holy!
DEATH:Yeah,holy is the place you are coming to right now...
MARTIN:You really are death???
DEATH:Yes,and I have come-
MARTIN:BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO COME?
DEATH:Because you ought to be dead by now.
MARTIN:Come off it,I am only 29,as even you know..
DEATH:Death doesn't have a retirement age.I have been in this bussiness for years and I have picked people younger than this.
MARTIN:You evil loathsome b*****d!!!!!!!!
DEATH:You say that like its a bad thing.Come now,I have got more souls to fetch.
MARTIN:Let me make this clear...I AM NOT COMING!
DEATH:(laughing loudly)Hahaha.......one scrawny gruesome skinny against Death,the conqueror of life,I have no chance,oh Lord save me..hahaha!
MARTIN:Okay,just tell me my story...why and how....ME!!!!!!
DEATH:Ok,an interesting question.....look,you went to the game yesterday,right?
MARTIN:YOU WERE FOLLOWING ME???
DEATH:Yes,so last night at the game,a ball hit by the New York Yankees batsman Phil Connel ought to have hit you yesterday on the head........
MARTIN:Thats it,that could have been the end of me?
DEATH:No,listen..after being hit,you in anger should have jumped right onto the ground and kicked Phil Connel in his crotch..
MARTIN:Wow,I could have really done that...so,what happened after that?
DEATH:Then,Phil's team mates would have jumped on you and beat you to a pulp.On the way to hospital,your ambulence would have been hit by a truck,sending your ambulence down the river Hudson.
MARTIN:I drowned?
DEATH:Well,no...Just as you limped out of the river,you realise that you are in the territory of the evil gang Corrazini.Their men hunt you down and shoot you,but the bullet hits your leg,and you somehow manage to reach Queen's private hospital..
MARTIN:With one leg and a fractured skull?......way to go,Martin..............
DEATH:Don't be cocky..........after reaching the hospital,you are shifted to the critical ward.There after a succesful operation that lasts for 5 hours,you regain consiousness and demand water.But,the doctor accidently would have give accidently given you poison,which you drink and pass out.But,still,you are alive
MARTIN:Still?..what I am,a miracle or something?
DEATH:Well,just as you leave the hospital,a piece of metal thrown by the storm goes straight through your chest and thus,killing you instantly.
MARTIN:What a tragic death.I survive a fractured skull,a deadly accident,a possible drowning,a group of  bloody gang bangers,a bullet shot,a 5 hour operation,a dose of poison but I cannot survive a stupid storm?
Whats the matter with me?
DEATH:(sympathetic)Now,now Martin,calm down,life is a b***h,but heaven will be great
MARTIN:Yeah,at least I am not in Hell
DEATH:There is no hell,its just a myth put in us to stop us behaving badly.
MARTIN:I never thought of that...hey,pal can I ask you something?
DEATH:Yes,boy
MARTIN:Why did that f*****g ball miss me in the first place.I thought you had to make sure that it did?
DEATH:(sheepishly)Well.ahmm........well,I...I..I made a,err...tiny little mistake.
MARTIN:What?
DEATH:When the ball was coming towards you,I just slipped my gaze on something else.
MARTIN:On what,on What?
DEATH:Well,in front of your seat was a,you know,a pretty little hot blonde...awww(looks deep in thought and smiling,showing his perfect white teeth)..well,I kept on looking and when I looked back at you,the ball was gone and I missed my chance,cause the next one will be after another 89 years.
MARTIN:WOW!...soo,its your fault,gimme my life back................
DEATH:(sobbing hard)Well,I know its my fault but if I don't get you,God will fire me...You understand that,don't you?..I will have no job..........please bear with me.
MARTIN:(feeling sorry for Death)But,I too want to live,you know...My wife is pregnant,and I want to see my unborn child..
DEATH:Why didn't you tell me that before?...We have a provision for about-to-be fathers.It states in section 67 that I cannot kill you,and God cannot do nothing about it,its completly legal.
MARTIN:But wait a minute,so many fathers die before the see their babies,why doesn't this apply to them?
DEATH:Well,obviously you will not excuse a person if he calls you a 'black cloaked dickless death duplicate'
MARTIN:Fair enough..so this means--
DEATH:Enjoy your extended 89 years Martin...see you when you are 118 years old,when you will die of a nuclear explosion turning bad!
MARTIN:Holy cow!.And you are not fired,right?
DEATH:Noooo....So,see you around some time
MARTIN:Well,I hope not,cause you will take my soul
(both start to laugh.Death takes leave and vanishes in the sky,as Martin looks from below)
THE END

Reviews

[Anski]

gave me a grin
nice play, although some errors, its overall good

[Veronica]

Nice, you really got the face of death! I wonder what will happen when he is 118 years old.....but I guess that's supposed to be left to the imagination.

[Terence Foster]

haha....loved the dry humour and the whole situation.
keep writing

[Krissy]

Very well written. (I'm really liking the subtle dark humor) but I have a few "constructive" suggestions :)

1. You often use too much punctuation to emphasize the things you are trying to get across to the reader. And while this is nothing to be condemned into the pits of hell, the excess punctuation can often distract the reader from the true purpose of the author's writing.

2. In the future, if you post short plays such as the one above, you may want to format it better so it looks "cleaner." It also makes it a hell of a lot easier to read :) I'll be reviewing your other stuff too, so keep writing :)

[Anna Kay]

varry well written!