Laughing.

Laughing.

        "I have been laughing so much lately, even my friends have noticed, only the close ones though, for only they can see through me. The last time I was depressed was more than a year ago, when coldness was then an enemy. I didn't miss that feeling, not one bit..but it came back for no specific reason; so I try to laugh, I laugh to hide the emptiness inside of my chest, I laugh to conceal the shivers I get from the cold, I laugh to mask the darkness of my soul, or maybe I laugh to believe that I am still able to, all I know is that I laugh more than I should. Many good things have happened to me, I try to be grateful but I just find myself happy for a moment and then pain overlaps my soul, I don't know if it's selfishness or greediness, either way it is still unhealthy; my breathing is too heavy, too too heavy that people can feel it from miles away. Coldness was a best friend for quite sometime, I used to feel so free, so infinite and so inevitable when I'm cold but things changed, now coldness became so intimidating to me, all I feel is loneliness; I find myself longing for a breath, for coldness is starting to suffocate me. That's why I laugh, I wipe away tears, put on make up and laugh, to hide all the depression my eyes expose." 

Author's Note

This portrait above is drawn by the talented, sweet NadiaSaad90 on twitter, she is extremely gifted and draws incredible portraits, and I have taken permission from her to post it...please go support her! thank you.