The Catacombs

Needed to get this out. Edited by Kenziekuu

Well, I am incapable of holding the responsibility to contain this deep feeling in me. 

The fact is, as soon as you're left alone, you can't help but think that you're dying alone.

A deep feeling, boiling like you've been held above an open flame, feeling the blaze,

You feel lost in a maze or a dog in a cage with no escape, accept the knife or the blade.

 

When you think back on your life, is all you see is a blur? 

As if you were born tonight, this night, the ultimate lure. 

Luring you into the stress of growing up prematurely: bills, family, maturity, responsibility.

And yet, I feel like all of this is just a pointless waste of space,

One that seems to be getting worse with every taste... 

It's the taste of reality to be honest, it's laced.

Your friends are laughing, jumping, humping, and clapping all with extreme excitement and here I am,

I who can't even look in the mirror without using caution, it's raw s**t. 

Fearing the beast that has recently been released,

Knowing as you walk by, people are relentless, there's no peace. 

They say bullies smell fear...

What if they actually smell desperation?

The craving of attention. 

Some fake a sneeze or trip on a breeze. 

Some secretly bleed... Hiding it under a sleeve. 

You wish everyone would forget, 

But all you really want is relief from the pressure, stress and the horror, regret. 

Getting called names on a day to day basis,

There's a price to pay.

Does watching sunsets make you gay? 

Or is it masculine to see your own hatred burning every day? 

That hatred from when they tell you to kill yourself and you wish you could say 

"That's a work in progress".

You see, I can't open up with people telling me to talk less. 

Every now and then I let something go. 

Not that dumb Frozen s**t, but really letting go. 

Cause the only thing frozen is my heart. 

Not just one part, it seems like my whole body is a rock. 

Stuck. 

As if I can't move.

Stuck in the past. 

Sinking in the quicksand that my foes have crafted,

So they can finally say they buried me under all the bullshit I've surpassed.

Long ago.

But how do you run when everything you're made up of is holding you back? 

When you have people snickering to themselves saying, 

"What the f**k was that spaz?"

Well it seems to have been a panic attack. 

From digging up the past,

But why would you understand that? 

You've had your whole life given to you,

Hell, you couldn't tell me the definition of hard work could you?

You don't have a clue, what do you do when your whole life is crumbling around you?

 

You get someone to fight your battles. 

You move out and move back in, mindless like cattle.

You see, these things aren't that bad for you,

These black and blue bruises are stacked, I fight the truth.

You're constipated with ignorance, 

Blocked up with your daddy's hand up your a*s,

But who needs that? 

That's the result of dealing with too much crap. 

Life's no different then a drainage pipe.

What's the point of living in a world full of sleepless nights?

Eventually s**t builds up even though everyone is aware of it. 

No one is willing to clean or fix it. 

There's too much time spent in bed, 

While your thoughts continuously f**k with your head. 

No disrespect but no thanks to the meds, 

I've got to much going on in my head to act dead.

I don't need happiness chemically injected, 

Because that's not real, I'm not 'corrected', I'm infected. 

No.

I won't even qualify it as a deal that I've paid. 

Cause both ends need to benefit for that word to be put in play. 

So no thanks, I'll take my chances day to day.

 

I will just call happiness a luxury or or fantasy. 

So intangible that it belongs in a story book or in a virtual reality,

All that's waiting for us at the pearly gates is hopeless tragedy.

Jesus.

 

F**k Jesus. 

Leading a horde of blind drones shouting about christianity,

It 's just profanity, could you shut up for 3 f*****g seconds? 

I don't what your f*****g blessings.

However, there is no excuse I can give anyone. 

I try my hardest to subtract the horrible things in my life, 

But sometimes I can't help contradicting myself. It's impossible to be made out of iron or steel,

Building walls to block out the way that you feel.

 

What ever floats your boat. 

What ever you think is justified. 

The last boat that attempted to float crashed and 1500 died.

The only place I find hope

Is in my room, late at night.

 

And if you think I sleep at night... 

Sorry but you're mistaken. 

The dead don't sleep. 

We just march endlessly looking for life among desolation.

My light has been extinguished, and so this is the end.

I found peace inside the maze, I no longer have to pretend. 

It's so dark in the catacombs that have invaded my head.

I am finally done.

Done with everything. 

So yes. This is the end.

Reviews

[Mackenzie Knitter]

It was a pleasure doing business with you brother, I can't wait to edit all of your genius brain vomit in the future :)