The Day when Every One stood still

The Day when Every One stood still

A Poem by Abdur Raqeeb
"

This is a haiku relating to the day before Eid Al Adha.

"
Man with hands raised
With tears rolling down his face
Asked for blessings

© 2012 Abdur Raqeeb


Author's Note

Abdur Raqeeb
Please put forward you suggestions. I am new to this site and I don't have any friends. So, if you could review mine, I shall review yours.

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Reviews

I'm with Seema down there. A great, meaningful poem, but the structure is wrong. Follow her suggestions.

But great job on one of your first haikus! :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Abdur Raqeeb

12 Years Ago

I think the number of syllables are alright. I checked with
http://www.wordcalc.com/index.php.. read more
A haiku ( as you know ) is a poem in three lines of five syllables, seven, and then again five syllables.

You did pretty good in the second sentence, but not the first and last. I think that the fist sentence has four syllables, and the last sentence is the same. Please correct me if I am wrong though! ^__^

Besides the mistakes, I never knew you out of all people you could write like this! XD

Posted 12 Years Ago


Abdur Raqeeb

12 Years Ago

Thank you for your review.. I think the number of syllables are alright. I re confirmed with:
.. read more
Abdur Raqeeb

12 Years Ago

Sometimes people can surprise you!! xD
Forever Hidden

12 Years Ago

Take your hands and clap them every time there is a syllable break. Or speak it out and clap your ha.. read more
it is exquisite

I went and read about Eid Al Adha, and found Abraham and Hagar who I studied in the old testament.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Abdur Raqeeb

12 Years Ago

Thank You!

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3 Reviews
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Added on October 28, 2012
Last Updated on October 28, 2012

Author

Abdur Raqeeb
Abdur Raqeeb

United Arab Emirates



About
I am from India. I am currently living in the UAE. Through this platform, I would like to develop my writing skills. more..

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