Chapter 6 - Stop being so f*****g rude

Hello business professionals,

Thank you for being patient. I don't know if you find this stuff funny or childish, but I thank you for reading. As you can deduce from my previous chapters, my experience in starting my career has been completely frustrating...no scratch that...infuriating. 

Throughout my journey, I have met people who frankly...are a******s. 

Yeah, I said it. Don't like it? Kiss my a*s. 

Over the past couples of weeks, I have been interviewing with a numerous amount of public relations and marketing companies. Some of these companies were huge, while others were the size of a small family. Yeah, about three people, and that's including the secretary.  

...I'm wondering where I should begin this shitstorm. I guess where I left off in my previous chapter. 

Remember when I was talking about that "Devil Wears Prada" lady. You know, the one played by Meryl Streep? Well, I didn't even get to meet the hag. Good thing too, because I didn't know if I could take the job anyway. 

Let me clear up something for you CEO, managers, and HR recruiters. Graduates is not another word for free labor! We know that we are inexperience, but don't dump half of your workload on us! What the f**k do we look like? A mule? 

Well Miranda Priestly's assistant was the only one that I had to meet, but still it was a f*****g nightmare. What type of employee comes out and tells you that they have already lost three interns within the last year? Or how the boss didn't know how to use a computer, and forced her employees to print out every email they received? My favorite part was when she explained that the secretary and Miranda had an extremely rocky relationship. 

That didn't include the awful hours, the heavy workload, and the lack of basic benefits. The only upside was the pay, so said Lolly. (Her name wasn't Lolly, she just reminded me of Lolly from Orange is the New Black) 

Would you take it, if you had were a recent graduate with almost no experience? 

You bet your a*s, you would. In a motherfucking heartbeat. 

Yeah, I was that desperate, but fortunately for me, or unfortunately, I never had a chance for a second interview. Maybe Miranda didn't want a hard case working for her. I know you guys don't know me, but I don't let anybody push me around. I mean f*****g nobody, especially not a ill-tempered old lady. 

Don't get me wrong, I am a very nice person and I'm respectful to everyone, but one thing my dad taught me is that nobody should EVER take advantage of you. Not for your race, ethnicity (these are different, right? I don't feel like checking Google right now), background, education level, personality, experience, or sex. 

Treat everyone the same, and you would be treated just as well. Unfortunately, not everyone in the world understand this concept. The fact of the matter is that if I had to put my faith in someone I would rather trust the cleaning lady that doesn't speak a lick of English than the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation. Remember that business professionals. 

Anyway, after I conducted the interview I was sent home. I spent the next week patiently waiting for the next interview. It never f*****g came! 

So...I sent an email. 

No answer. 

Then I sent another email.

And still no f*****g answer. 

I never sent an email again. 

If someone never responds back don't think they didn't receive it. They f*****g received it, they just don't want you and don't f*****g worry about it. F**k them. If they don't want you, then you don't want them.

Think about it. What does it say about an  employee or a company who never tells you that they rejected you? 

Let me answer for you, that they are lazy cowards. It's not that hard to send a rejection letter. It literally takes you about thirty minutes to write, and if you already have it prepared just a minute to send. 

If you are guilty of this, please stop f*****g drinking your Starbucks coffee and talking to Debbie in accounting and write that letter. It will let us "unqualified applicants" out of our misery. 

Long story short, I never heard from Lolly and Miranda Priestly again. 

The second interview wasn't any better. 

Last week, I had to attend a funeral of a small one year old girl. She was the daughter of one of my cousin. It was so terrible, and I still can't believe that little girl is gone. It completely broke my cousin's heart. I really don't know what is worse seeing a griven strict mother crying her eyes out whenever she see her daughter or a child in a coffin. I hope you guys never experience this. If you have, I praise your strength to endure this level of pain. 

You can only imagine how I felt last week trying to manage memorials and church events and spontaneous phone and face-to-face interviews. The one that finally pushed me to my breaking point was one AWOL phone interview. The beginning of that week, I receive a phone call from...well let's call him Justin Case. It was for a marketing internship near the Dallas area. He wanted to conduct a phone interview, and see if I had the "right stuff" for the job. The day before the interview I receive a text from Justin saying this: 

"Hi Pissed-Off-Professional, it's Justin. We had a meeting scheduled on Tuesday,I apologize but I have to cancel. Thanks!"

I held no ill-contempt for this text. I understood that business professional had busy schedules. So I sent him a response asking for the new interview schedule. No response. A day later, I sent him an email. No response. The next day as well. No response. I got desperate, because it sounded like a perfect opportunity, so I called him. I was sent to voicemail immediately. 

"You dare make a fool out of me?!" - Boogie Man from The Nightmare Before Christmas. 

I f*****g had it with you pieces of s**t. Grow some balls, and tell us you don't want us. Oh, and just to make it perfectly clear to you. Don't do it the day of or the day before. 

Finally, today I had two phone interviews, and they weren't that bad. One was from a small company in Texas, while the other one was an internationally well-known one. 

I don't know about you, but is it really necessary for you to have this complicated and severely intricate interview process just to select an applicant who, rumored by Glassdoor, won't receive a full-time position after the internship period? 

A phone interview? Completely understandable.

A face-to-face interview? Completely understandable.

Three test, one in which is over two hours long?! Completely f*****g stupid. 

If this is the case, be more picky during the resume screening process and have longer face-to-face interviews. Maybe, make the job application include the test as well? Just a thought from someone who doesn't have the desire or energy to go through that f*****g turbine. 

I think things are finally looking up for me. How do I know? Well, yesterday I won some concert tickets from this radio station. Maybe I'll get the job. If I don't, it's okay I can always continue bitching about it on this lovely website and to you lovely readers. 

Happy Halloween readers. 

Author's Note

I'll fix it when we have flying cars.