Chapter 4 – I see you learn how to sit, stay, and fetch…but do you have any experience in playing de

Remember how in the last chapter I was explaining how hope can be a terrible thing?
Well it is. I, yet again, for the fifth time in my life have been rejected by another company. I been rejected because “we have found someone else to fill the position”.
Question to you recruiters and employers, do you ever fill in the position or is this your way of saying that you didn’t want this applicant?
Put us out of our misery and just f*****g tell us this:
“I’m sorry Ms. /Mr. Applicant, but you were not hired for this position because we felt you lack the specific qualifications. You were missing:
1. One to two years of experience
2. Skills in these software programs.
3. The correct personality for this company’s environment
So sorry, but if it makes you feel any better the other one hundred and twenty-five applicants were rejected as well. Don’t worry, more than likely the current applicant will be fired within three months for his/her inability to meet our outrageous and impossible demands.
Please remember, the fact that you even applied and try to fight tooth and nail for this position gives us our boring careers some level of excitement. Now we will have fresh gullible graduates who would pick up our Starbuck and print out our useless documents. In a nutshell, your desperation for this job boost the self-esteem of ourselves and our work.
I wish you luck in your future job groveling…I mean searching.
Love, the company that just rejected you.”
Hmm…maybe this is too harsh?
What do you think?
I know I’m exaggerating, but sometimes it actually feels like this.
These people continue to play with my emotions like I’m some sort of twat.
Let me tell you what this company, which we are going to call “You missed on a great f*****g applicant” incorporated or FML Inc. made me go through for this possible marketing intern position at their company:
1. FML Inc. posted their available positions on stupid job-searching websites.
2. Pissed Off Professional (POP) found the position and sent her resume, cover letter, and filled in FML Inc’s application.
3. POP waited a week to receive an email from FML that stated that she had to do a couple of test.
4. POP finished a 30 min personality test and a 15 min math test.
5. POP waited another three days before she got a phone call from dipshit to arrange a 30 min phone interview.
6. The next day POP does the phone interview and passes. She then moves on to the next stage, a skype interview.
7. Skype interview was canceled by Dipshit (from the previous chapters) because the position was filled.
8. POP called Dipshit from FML Inc. to ask about how she can improved her interview skills and resume, but really she wanted to know what the f**k she did wrong.
9. No answer from Dipshit.
10. POP gave up.
11. POP receives a phone call from another guy from FML Inc. two days later who said Dipshit recommended me for their sales operation internship.
12. POP wonders if Dipshit has a soul?
13. POP, once again, redoes the 30 minute phone interview with New Guy. She passes, and goes to the next stage.
14. POP does the skype interview with new guy, and not dipshit.
15. Skype interview turns out to be another excuse to make POP do that stupid math test again.
16. New guy tells POP to finish all 50 questions in 15 minutes.
17. POP finishes 36/50 questions, which POP personally think is great.
18. POP receives an email that she has been rejected, again, from FML Inc. because the position has been filled.
19. F**k you, FML Inc, New guy, and Dipshit.
Now, my friend Journalist Hippie believes that any company that makes somebody go through all that, must be a terrible company.
I, Pissed Off Professional, have to agree. What happen with the old school way of finding jobs?
Not the newspaper/ads method of finding jobs, but sending your application and getting called for a face-to-face interview.
All these steps to get a position is exhausting and a huge waste of money. Just meet the people, what’s the worst thing that can happen?!
Human contact?
M**********r, please. Grow a pair and interview with those applicants.
To tell you the truth, I would love to practice my interview skills at an actual company than on the phone or skype.
Skyping is okay if you are on the other side of the world, not across f*****g town.
Did I mentioned that the position paid $11.50/hour?

Author's Note

I'll fix the grammar problems once I throw the ring to Mt.Doom