Chapter 2 - Stop crying! I’m a f*****g Ravenclaw

My father always told me to never cry, crying was for losers who couldn’t pull themselves up from their failures. Yet, I have always cried for everything. I am the epitome of crybabies. Oddly enough, I wasn’t a crybaby when I was a baby or a toddler. No, it was when my father started yelling at me for everything. He never hit me, but when he did it was only on occasions when a child does something very very bad. Like, hitting your sister or stealing. This may sound odd for some people who grew up with certain family standards, but this is not unusual for a low or middle class Mexican family. Let’s not speak about the “chancla”.

I’m not supposed to cry, but how can I not when I got rejected by another marketing internship position within the last three months. I graduated from the University of Texas at Austin with a B.B.A. in Marketing and a minor in communication. Let me tell you about UT, well…not UT per say, but its McCombs’ School of Business. In a sentence, it’s like a F*****G Hufflepuff surviving an all Slytherin school. THANK THE [spiritual figure/figures that you believe or not believe in] that I am a Ravenclaw.

As you know, and if you don’t know look it up, Slytherins are cutthroat and ruthless. I have seen them tear apart people’s presentations to shreds, regardless if they were bad or good. I have also seen them suck-up to most professors to get what they want. It’s both scary and admirable. McCombs is one of the top ten business schools in the nation and its marketing programs is number three. I have also heard that they won the inter-house cup three times running.   

Now, with educational credentials like this, doesn’t it make me seem like I am somewhat competent for a marketing INTERNSHIP that earns a salary of $10 to $11 per hour? Please tell me, if I’m over or underqualified.

Oh...you can’t? Because you are too busy right now? Oh, I understand. I understand that you are so busy, but yet it’s your programs that reject thousands of applicants a day for your scarce job positions. It’s not you recruiters, it’s your machines that are letting all this untapped potential go.  When did job searching become like Match.com and Tinder?

Let’s now have a moment of silence for those poor souls who beat the machine, but failed the face-to-face interview for not being “hard-driven” or “passionate” enough for [insert useless product/service here].

Announcer voice in the background says, “Let them fight, let them fight to the death!” As the crowds in the stands rises, the CEOs and HR recruiters scream “fight, kill, tear the unemployed. Maimed the graduates and the inexperienced”.

Now, let me tell you about my fifth rejection from a possible marketing internship. This new company that I was applying to accepted my resume, cover letter, and their own job application. Then I was approved to taking two test. One that only needed simple math and English skills. The other, was a personality test. After passing both tests, I had a twenty minute interview with a recruiter who probably didn’t know the difference between marketing, sales, and advertising if it bit him in the a*s because he was an English/history major. You know, I always wonder where those major went when they graduated.

After this grueling process of telling this man more about myself, and the reason why I love marketing so much. I was asked if I was able to work in the United States without sponsorship or if I had a criminal background. AFTER THIS, I was schedule to have an online interview through Skype designed to talk more about myself and to take those two test again.

I don’t know what was supposed to be after this, because exactly two hours before my Skype interview was supposed to begin I was cut because they found the perfect applicant. Let me recite this email to you:

“Hello Pissed-Off Professional,

I wanted to let you know that at this time the hiring team has decided to extend an offer to another candidate for the Marketing Internship. As such, we will no longer be continuing in the consideration process with additional candidates and will need to cancel our scheduled appointment this afternoon.

Thank you for your time and interest. Best of luck and all success to you in your future pursuits.

Kind regards,

[Insert name of any dipshit you know]”

Yeah, maybe I’m being a sore loser about this. He/she got it, but I didn’t. But can you F*****G BLAME ME? I’m tired and frustrated. I’m trying to be patience, but DAMN IT I want to accomplish my goals. My future endeavors. Where I F*****G see myself five years from now.

Give me a chance, it’s not like I’m a F*****G Hufflepuff.

Recruiter in the background says, “But you’re not a Slytherin either.”

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems, I'll fix them when I get a damn review.