Chapter Four- Brain or Heart?

  When someone has done something to drastically change your life where do you go from that? When the impact is so big that you don't even know how to over come the outcome. Do you pretend it never happened or do see what happens? Both choices are scary; you don't know what could happen. If you pretend that it never happened then what if it just gets forgotten? I don't think that I'm ready for it to be forgotten, are you? Are you ready to forget something that has majorly changed my life? And if I wait to see what happens what if I freak out? What if I don't immediately react the way that I actually want to? Is it better to say what I first think and feel or should I think it through? Thinking of you makes my heart beat a little faster, but then I get nervous. And I don't know why I'm nervous. Your so different and I can't put my finger on it as to what it is. Is it because you have made a big impact in my life and you could probably care less? Is it true that the harder the person the more you want them? How scared I am and don't know my place in your life; I'm not sure I know my place in my own life. I think one thing, but feel another. Which do I choose my brain or my heart? Logic or fate? Why can't I make my own fate? "It's the 21st century!" that everyone says, what does that actually have to do with anything? Oh because women are more bold, outspoken, and intelligent that we should start making the moves? Why can't guys still come up and kiss you and tell you how the feel? It would save me so much time, tears, and questions if I knew the truth. The truth hurt, but maybe that's what I need. Maybe I need the logic to break through the barricades of unrealistic movie romance, but if I loose the one thing that keeps me going then who will I be? Does that mean I'm growing up because I've experienced pain of the heart? I'm so confused on what to do. Is it harder to choose my brain that has always given me my logical choices, or should I go with the one thing that I cling onto more than anything and its my belief love with my heart?