And She Lost Her Soul!!

She came within an inch of pulling the trigger of her 38 millimeter gun that she borrowed from a goon, suddenly she heard a voice screaming out her name.

" Tanya ! Tanya ! "

She could feel the horror in his screams and then she recognized him. David? What he might be doing here? How did he know I was going for the kill tonight? Did he call the police or worse told my mom?

“David! What in God’s name are you doing here? “

“Tanya, Tanya please don’t do this. Don’t please.”

He came close it was dark but now he can see clearly. He saw Jason lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding. He was covered in blood all over that it was very hard to say from where his body was pouring blood. How can someone be so cruel, so ruthless to do something like this? He was shocked more than horrified as this ‘someone’, who has been so cruel was his friend, the one he has known through his whole life. “She was a simple, cheerful girl. She loved flowers and chocolates. What kind of hell must have fallen upon her that she has become such a monster?” He stood there for a while, his stare moving restlessly from Jason and Tanya and Tanya to Jason. He pulled together his guts and finally found the words to speak.

“Tanya, I have known you my entire life; I know you are not this person, this, this monster. I know you are hurting really bad but this is not the way out. You won’t feel any less pain after killing him instead you will wake up every morning with remorse and trust me it is not easy to live with it.”

“David, you say you know me then you should also know that what he did to me is beyond forgiving or forgetting.” Saying this she again points the gun at Jason where Jason was still lying on the ground cold blooded.

David trying to think looking hastily at Tanya, he knew he has to talk her out of killing Jason but how? “ I am just asking you to put that gun away and not kill him, he don’t deserve your forgiveness neither I am asking you to forget what he did but think for an instance, once you kill him you will lose you humanity forever. There will be no coming back and you will be a killer! Will you be able to live with that? Just think for a moment would Dane ever want this for you?”

Hearing Dane’s name she just burst into anger accompanied by tears. She was losing it, her hand was shaking and her eyes soaked in tears. “ Dane, yes Dane, the guy I loved, my whole world revolve around him and this b*****d killed him. Why? WHY? Do you know why, because I loved him and not this b*****d, so he just snapped Dane’s neck in front of me in a heartbeat and turned the guy I loved into a bag of bones and I couldn’t do anything? Nothing, I was just standing there helpless, confused and heart broken.” Her anger now turning into rage, David is just standing, his mind racing to find an argument to calm her down but his mind is dead. He could see through her red eyes, the pain she is feeling and there in no argument in the world that encompasses that feeling. Jason moaned in pain gaining his conscious back partially. She waited for a moment looked in David’s eyes as if exchanging final goodbye with her friend or instead with herself. Then she turned away, she heard David speaking her name but this time his voice faded. She looked at Jason and made sure he knew that his death is knocking on his door and there it was, the look, he knew hell has been called upon him and there is no escape. He tried to close his eyes and not to see the death. He was scared, he was not ready to die but Tanya hold his head up and looked into his eyes and said “This one is not only for Dane but also the girl you killed in your shallow ego, the innocent girl once known as Tanya.” “ Tanya Please don’t. “ David fell on knees crying, pleading her to stop. She took a clear shot right straight to Jason’s head and he fell on ground with his eyes open as if even in his death he is watching his soul being dragged by the evil. David was still on his knees crying not on the death of Jason but his friend Tanya. He looked up and saw a fading figure in the dark and she was gone and he never saw her again.

“Every now and then I just find myself caught up in the thought if there is really something known as ‘The love to kill and die for’? Is it really worth it? She might have revenged Dane but she lost all the hope for herself.”

Closing his personal diary David took a deep sigh and kissed on the forehead of a little boy sleeping in his lap. As he lift him up and tucked him comfortably in his bed, the boy woke up “Goodnight Daddy” said in his sleepy voice and slept again holding his quilt tightly. David smiled and gazed at the little boy sleeping so innocently, poor little brat, only if he knew that was no bed time story from a story book but the story of how his mom lost her soul on the way of revenging his dad. With her thoughts and tears in his eyes like any other night David went to bed.

Reviews

[Christopher Robin]

What a horrific bedtime story, that child is going to grow up with some messed up memories!

There were several issues with the writing, most of which I imagine are as a result of a language barrier. Are you studying English? This needs serious revision in terms of past/present tense, where to put commas, semi-colons, and other basic grammar problems. There were so many of these errors that it took away from a potentially interesting story. I would highly recommend getting someone with English as their first language to proof read your work, it would greatly benefit from it. The ideas are solid, the communication is not.

-Robin

[Aayushi]

Well thanks for the review, highly appreciated. Maybe the language issue is a barrier as we Indians follow both American as well as British English so sometimes that mix up becomes a problem. But I am working on it. Thanks for reading and leaving a review.