Into the Darkness

This is a small piece of work that introduces a young school girl, Sophia in the setting of Domestic Violence at home and how she creates her own dark world to escape reality.

She walks in the blistering heat, clutching to the Maths exam paper that is engraved with the letter ‘F’ in red. No stranger to the burning sensation of scorching concrete beneath her feet, she avoids the shorter way home. Instead, she transforms the disfigured pavement into hard rocks with lava underneath them. To protect herself from the red-hot liquid, she hurdles over the dusty gravel and jumps on to the rock-solid path until she reaches home.

Letting the lava devour her test paper, she enters the building that has dilapidated over the years �" leaving hues of grey and brown behind. She walks past the unlocked wooden door that screeches in the silence. The heavy curtains wrap the apartment in a layer of darkness that blinds her eyes.

‘Ouch!’ she flinches. The sole of her shoe collides with a shard of glass that manages to pierce through her soft skin, gushing blood. Calmly moving the broken pieces to the side, she shambles through the chaotic apartment and leaves a trail of blood in her path.  The usual stench of putrid flesh, vinegary socks and alcohol welcomes her in. Piles of unwashed clothes have carpeted the tile floor, absorbing the trembling of her feet as she walks further in �" leaving just silence behind.

 ‘Ma?’ She slightly opens the door. It creaks louder than the one before.

‘Ma?’ she whispers again and clenches to the water bottle hanging around her neck, with ‘Sophia’ written on it.

No one answers.

The heavy pounding of Sophia’s chest, accompanied with short uneven breaths, fills her ears. She walks further in. Ma sits in a corner of the room with her legs clasped against her chest, hiding in the dark.

Ma is alive.

Sophia loosens her grasp on the bottle. Ma’s face is shielded by her tangled black locks, hiding the pain-filled eyes from her daughter.

It is too late. Though the motionless figure looks down at the cold floor, the silence has spoken for the storm earlier. Sophia wants to hold Ma in her tiny arms. She wants to remind Ma that she is loved. Wants to help Ma stand on her feet again. To break the wall that has built between the two of them.

But she knows that she cannot.

She walks out of the room and closes the creaking door. She walks further out, past the musty clothes and emptied tin cans, past the shattered glass and past the wooden door. She continues walking until she reaches the lava, but this time she lets the lava broil her feet. She keeps walking further away until she reaches the darkness, until all she can feel is pure hollowness.

But she doesn’t stop there.

She walks further away into the hollowness until she reaches her own world. A world where glass could not tear her skin. A world where lava could not reach her unripe heels.  A world where she could see Ma smiling through the bruised lips and bloodshot eyes.

 

A world where darkness would not mean fear.

Author's Note

This is for one of my University assignments that requires us to focus on the setting to explain the character's feelings. Please feel free to comment/provide feedback/or just whatever you think about it! Thank you!

Reviews

[Helen Crutchett]

I have just been browsing through the other reviewers and agree with all that was said about this piece. Extremely well told story with the 'feelings' of characters certainly coming to the fore! Much enjoyed Flash Fiction and one that certainly kept my attention from beginning to the 'jaw-dropping end'. Bravo!

Thank you so much for submitting this to the challenge and apologies for not replying sooner, but due to various life matters I have not been at the cafe for sometime.

Helena :)

[Autumn Lyric]

From the start of the work I was hooked. just kept reading and I like that very much. Some novels I have read in the past have turned me off by just reading the first few lines and I close the book. I also enjoyed the analogies and the haunting sadness and helplessness it brought for Sophia because this is a subject matter that can be tough to convey and even harder to read about and you did this very well. Great work indeed.

[Mr_M]

A very hard hitting piece. I enjoyed the perspective of what is going on with the Mother from the point of the daughter. It has this eerie feel to it. I thought it was very well described throughout and anyone reading this will feel so bad for both Mother and daughter. I thinking the ending line is stunning. This story is a perfect example of show and not tell. The settings reflect the characters feelings along with the body language aspect. On a side note I am always a fan of writers promoting awareness on a certain subject that may sometimes be overlooked. Well done.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow this is an amazing piece!!!!! I am disturbed, haunted, shaking and loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This hit me in such a personal place that I can not even begin to thank you enough for publishing a piece of such truth!!! I applaud you, fellow writer for this amazing piece of writing. I am truly struck in a deep place that I haven't glimpsed for a long time and thank further still for allowing me to look at that part of myself once again. So thank dear writer, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!