Shadows of Skyscrapers

An observation of the way people live in New York City.

I slipped from the crowd into an alley next to Fremont

The darkness of the alley reminded me of night

Hidden in the shadows of the skyscrapers

A man was sitting on the pavement staring

 

I turned back to the crowds of the street

They pushed themselves forward

to their jobs or to their home

Up ten sets of stairs,

down the hall and to the left

 

"That's not a skyscraper," a man told me

it was the day before

"I'm from Maine," I responded.

The man nodded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

I waited for my moment to step back into the crowd.

This is the Boston of foot traffic, I thought

I pushed myself back onto the sidewalk.

I caught a glimpse of the man in the alley.

He smiled at me.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think.

Any feedback is great.
I even like the two word ones.
Thank you!

Reviews

[JordanLane]

For some reason this reminds me a lot of jazz
But as for review I liked what was written and the off beat sort of flow captures the erie hysteria of the city however it was kind of abstract for me and although the pictures were clear it was tough for me to fit the pieces together but then again it could just be my ignorance for these sort of things nonetheless I enjoyed this a lot

[Aaron]

Thanks for the review!

[Natasha]

hmmmmm, this has a curiosity and mysterious vibe to it. I could feel myself in NYC walking the bustling streets. Almost reminded me of a lost puppy wandering and figuring out the new city life.

[Aaron]

Did you just compare me to a puppy? lol
Well I guess guess it fits.

Thank you!

[Natasha]

LOLLL--didn't mean to! and you're welcome

[Corset]

I get such a presence from the mysterious man, like he was an omen or angel noticing you notice the skyscraper was missing, it's a very unique write the man almost as a quiet juxtapose to the busy street, well done. :)

[Aaron]

Thank you!

[Evelyn]

i love the concept. good piece.

[Aaron]

Thank you!

[Ruth]

I like the raw vastness to this a lot...
It has all the elements..engaging and yet mysterious, enjoyed!
xox

[Aaron]

Thank You!

[Ruth]

Welcome :)

[K-mo]

I really like this, it has a mysterious feel to it, or it could be just me. My point is it is written very well!

[Aaron]

I see what you mean. I didn't notice that before. Certainly wasn't planned that way.

Thank you!

[K-mo]

your welcome!

[Steven]

"I'm from Maine," I responded.
The man nodded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Ha, something brilliant about that. This is the kind of writing I really enjoy. It's conversation, but highlights ever other thing under out noses we have missed. Nice write.

[Aaron]

Thank you!

[Mia]

New York - review done...lol just kidding.
This is very nice, I loved the third stanza, especially the first two lines. Very clever!
""That's not a skyscraper," a man told me
it was the day before
"I'm from Maine," I responded.
The man nodded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world."

[Aaron]

Thank you!
I'm glad to know someone else likes that line.

[tamsin]

I love the way you put across that big town, small town dynamic. When I moved to London I was totally blown away by how big it all way, and how I actually didn't live in the City of London, just a borough. You don't realise that from the outside...Anyway I'm babbling lol...
This is just great.

[Aaron]

Thank you! Feel free to babble :)

[tamsin]

I will lol...: D

[Anthony Gregory Gallo]

So, first off. I love the narrative of this poem. It's fantastic. If you're looking for some constructive advice: I think further description of either the moving crowd upon the sidewalk or the immensity of the sky scraper or the conversation between you and the "man" would add to its visceral effect. And would add to the awesome narrative.

[Aaron]

I think you're right about moving in that direction with this poem.

Thanks for the input.