Prologue

The stars shone brightly over the Mountains of Fire as the darkened moon did not shine this moonless night. They sparkled in the heaven like glittering jewels. The brightest stars of all shone in the constellation Ingvorin, or the "dragon" constellation. Ingvorin shone the brightest on the night that a new Dragonsouled was born. The Dragonsouled people had the souls of dragons. They had the ability to change from elven form to dragon form. with being just as at home in the skies as on the ground, they had little need of much else.They had the strongest magical abilities of any race on Trionor. They learned fast and lived long. However, after the final battle during the War of Shadows, only two dragonsouled survived, Reon and Erira.

This night, all of the dragons in the Mountains of Fire gathered together because Erira had given birth to a healthy baby boy. Reon and Erira lived alone in a small hut in the mountains. Once the baby was safely asleep and content, Reon took the baby so that Erira could rest. He bundled up the child and went outside. A pleasantly warm midsummer breeze stirred the air as Reon took the short hike to a nearby altar. The chest-height altar stood in the center of several rings of stone. Rings of sapphire braided with emerald and ruby. Rings of gold intertwined in neverending patterns with rings of silver.

Reon laid the child on the warm and smooth stone of the altar. Many children had lain there before, including Reon when he was a baby.The dragons gathered on the outside of the rings surrounding the altar. Several different species came that lived natively in the Mountains of Fire. Skreers came from the snowy mountain peaks, with their white scales and frilled manes. Firewyrms, small and bright orange, emerged from the depths of the volcanoes. Slender, silver Mistwritherers came from the low cloud cover. Icy blue and irridescent Waterrangs ascended from emerald glacier lakes. Dapplers, small climbing dragons with the ability to change color, came from the slowly vanishing forests The alpha dragon for that area of the Mountains of Fire, a Ridgebacked Sandwraith from the nearby desert came as well. His area covered part of the Mountains of Fire and a small portion of the Haridian Desert. His name? Swiftclaw.

He looked more raptor than dragon with his lithe legs, sickle-clawed feet, and his narrow snout. He had the job to look out for the dragons in the Mountains of Fire. He had to make sure they didn't become attacked, and they had enough food. He became the Watcher. He watched for danger, magic, and, most importantly, humans. The humans had Hunters. They had magical artifacts that kept them safe from raptors and dragons, and let them use a little bit of magic. The dragons became easy prey for the now-deadly humans. Thus, they needed a Watcher. Swiftclaw slowly prodded forward to get a better look at the child. His shoulder stood to the height of Reon's head.

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This same night, in the Darkwood Forest, another child came into the world. A baby's cry pierced the stillness of night. An elf of the Terin'vraeo clan, meaning in the magical language Earth Life clan, had just given birth to a baby boy. The Terin'vraeo clan took care of the earth, plants, and animals. They had the ability to, make plants grow, to heal animals, and change the earth into different states of matter. They could heal most simple illnesses. Though most times they couldn't save a person from death. The mother of the child died giving birth. The midwives tried to help the best they could, but to no avail.

After the child came out, the midwives clucked their tongues and shook their heads. A child born on the night of a new moon was considered to be a bad omen for the land. They thought the child's bad luck had spread, and it killed the child's mother. The baby was healthy for the most part, but it had a birthmark that disfigured his left forearm and shoulder. The father took the child outside the hut. In the central clearing, the entire village gathered. The only people absent were the children. The older ones were watching the younger ones. The tribe chief came, along with the wiseone and the village healer. The entire forest seemed sway in it's sleep, and the sounds of the night droned on.

The father looked at the faces of the villagers surrounding him. They stood in a circle, waiting for the naming ceremony to begin. The villagers had sad, sympathetic smiles on their faces. The father knew many of them regarded the child as bad luck. The father shuddered. At least they couldn't stop him from performing the naming ceremony.

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Swiftclaw took a tentative step back as Reon dropped to one knee. Reon bowed his head and raised his arms to the sky to begin the naming ceremony. "By the fires of our ancestors, the stars of Ingvorin, and the souls of dragons," he intoned in a reverent voice, "we give you a name this night. The name we give you is..." Reon sent a short prayer to Auranna, the goddess of Trionor, that the child would be accepted. "Roknier!" At the mention of his name, Roknier opened up his eyes. The stars in the sky pulsed brighter and brighter. A single beam of light gently shone down from the stars and rested on the child. Down the beam of light came a bright tongue of fire. "We accept this child" the fire whispered softly. Reon breathed a silent sigh of relief.

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The father raised his child above his arms. He bowed his head. He said in a slow, calm voice, "On this night, the night of your birth, we give you a name. May the spirits of our ancestors guide you through the tempests of life." The father sent a quick, silent prayer to Auranna. "The name we give you is Arran!" The father lowered Arran, and watched in silence as the air in front of him shimmered and rippled. A thin line of pale blue light split the night air. It grew wider, and several spirits drifted out of it. They circled, almost lazily, around the father and his child. The father fought to keep a straight face, trying not to show his inner turmoil. The spirits stopped their circling, and drifted back in front of the father. "We decline", they hissed. "The child must die!" They drifted closer to the child.

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The beam of light and the tongue of fire dissipated into the night. Reon stood up in relief. The stars of Ingvorin slowly dimmed and their light shifted back to normal. Swiftclaw raised his head. "Dragons one and dragons all, heed my words this moment." His deep voice carried through the air to the mountains ringed around the valley. "Who will share their soul with Roknier?", he cried. The dragons fell silent.The night also went silent to witness the outcome of this pivotal, sacred moment. Crickets stopped their chirping, and owls stopped their hooting. Raptors stopped their distant cries. The whole world seemed to be holding its breath, waiting. Swiftclaw looked out at the dragon clans he was over. The chosen dragon's eyes would shine pale blue, the color of spirits, until it stood next to the child. That would mean the child's spirit had chosen the dragon.

After a moment, the assembled dragons parted. Out of the silent darkness, two figures emerged. One, a black dragon, known for its speed, called the Enderfury, and the other, a forest raptor. A raptor species rarely seen in the Mountains of Fire. Reon changed into dragon form to see what would happen next. The other dragons watched in horrified silence.

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The father gasped in horror. "Wait!" he cried, clutching Arran closer to his chest. "isn't there something you can do? I would give my life for Arran." The spirits just kept getting closer. The father backed up. "Leave the child be." thundered a voice out of the rift. Another spirit flew through the rift. The spirit of a phoenix. The entire village dropped to its knees, except for the father. Since Terin'vraeo in the magical language means "earth life", the phoenix, being one who brings new life, came to be sacred to them. One phoenix lived at a time, but its past spirits lived in the Otherworld. The ancient phoenix spirit glided to the ground in front of the father, who immediately dropped to his knees.

"This child's fate is tied with evil." the phoenix spirit said. "His fate is tied with dragons and humans. Should he live, he will have the power to save the world, or to utterly destroy it. There is a cost, though." The father looked up, tears streaming down his face. "Please," he whispered. "I will do anything in order to let my son live."

"To save a life, a life must be taken. Such must happen in order for the balance of life to be maintained throughout the land."

The father stood up and laid Arran on the soft leaf litter of the forest floor. "Take me, but let the child live."

"Very well then."

The real phoenix swooped down from the blackened sky and landed next to the spirit of its ancestor.

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Swiftclaw gave a low growl in his throat. "What is the meaning of this, raptor?", he growled. "You dare intrude on such a sacred ceremony?" The raptor's eyes shone a pale blue, as did the Enderfury's. "The child has chosen two", the raptor purred. "Who am I to refuse him?" The raptor cocked his head slightly to the side. "Listen to the stars, Swftclaw, for they cannot lie." Few had the ability to Starlisten anymore. Only some alpha dragons, raptor chieftains, elven wiseones, and human shamans had the ability.

Swiftclaw closed his eyes and turned his thoughts towards the stars in the heavens. He heard these words: "The child has chosen well. He is special as the last of his kind. He will need raptor as well as dragon in his soul. He will meet another who was born this night. One who will have the power to destroy the world or to save it. Roknier will come to a choice. Prepare him the best that you can. The fate of the other born this night rests in his hands." Swiftclaw sighed and opened his eyes. "The stars cannot lie.", he whispered. He spoke louder. "The child has chosen and these two accept. Let the process of binding begin.

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"It will be swift and painless." the spirit phoenix said. It flew up to the father's ear and whispered a word. The father's eyes rolled back into his head and his body slumped to the ground. His spirit was guided to the Otherworld by the spirits who first appeared. They disappeared into the rift. "Now," the spirit phoenix said, "all the child needs is a bonded soul."

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The dragons began a low hum. Some dragons moved from the hum to a soft "O" sound, and gradually moved to different notes that mixed into a resounding harmony. After a few minutes, higher voices crescendoed in. Soft at first, the Enderfury's cry filled the air as it began to pick up the melody, the raptor's growls not a beat behind. The song had no words, just feelings of hope, love, confidence, and trust, blending into the purest form of magic. This was the Dragonsong. A song bonding souls together, used since the ancient times. Not many knew such magic was possible.

Small pinpoints of light, like the embers of a dying campfire, began appearing around the Enderfury, the raptor, and Roknier. The lights moved with the music, as if swaying in an invisible wind. They began to change colors. Blue became the dominant color, the color of Roknier's eyes. Subtle purples, greens, and blacks shifted in the background. Purple, the color of the Enderfury's eyes, green, the color of the raptor's eyes, and black, the color of the night that tied them all together. The lights slowly began to form a vortex around the trio, pulsing with the heart of the music.

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The phoenix tilted its head, as if listening for something. The child, strangely silent, slept on. The spirit phoenix flew back into the rift, and the air shuddered as the rift closed. The phoenix raised its head and began to cry a haunting, hallowed melody. The elf clan could feel the strength of the magic, and stepped back. The magic, stronger than any they had ever felt, resonated inside them. Small embers of light began to surround the Arran and the phoenix. It swirled into a small whirlwind.

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The dragons could feel a faraway source pulling at the magic of binding, while adding to it as well. The dragons dared not stop the song, lest the child die and the Enderfury's soul be lost forever. Like all magic, the Dragonsong came at a cost. Some dragons fainted, having used up most of their energy. If they used any more, it would kill them. The stronger ones carried on. Inside the vortex, the Enderfury and the raptor began to slowly turn into embers, from their tails to their snouts.

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The phoenix began to fade into bright pinpoints of orange light that gathered around the child.

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The glowing embers from the raptor descended lightly onto Roknier's right forearm, while the Enderfury's settled on his upper back and his left shoulder.

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The phoenix's embers settled onto Arran's birthmark, partially hiding it from view.

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The Dragonsong faded into the night, and the vortex vanished. Reon changed back into elven form. He stepped forward. Roknier now had black tattoos of a dragon and a raptor. Reon raised Roknier up, his voice ringing among the stones. "Among men you shall be known as Roknier. Among dragons you shall be called Shadowrunner!" All was right in the world for the dragons.

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The phoenix's song vanished, as did the small whilrwind. The villagers looked at each other, not knowing what to do next. Arran's eyes shot open and he began to cry. The village wiseone picked up the child. She closed her eyes and asked the stars what the child's fate was to be now, for he had no family. The stars began to whisper their fervent reply.

"This child's fate is bound with humans. He is destined to live among them until he is fifteen years of age. Alter his appearance, so he will look human until he is fifteen years of age. Be quick. Danger fast approaches. Let the man in black have the child. The dragons will save Arran." The wiseone, shocked. whispered, "The stars never lie." as she began to change Arran's appearance. A man and a pack of raptors fast approached from the forest. Both were...tainted somehow. Usually the forest raptors left the elves alone because the elves had helped them in so many ways.

A man in a long black cloak stepped into the torchlit clearing. A hood covered the features of the man's face. His cloak fastener glowed a dark red. Shadowmagic. Magic from Sythyr'isrin, the shadow islands. The elves backed up and readied their Earthmagic for a fight. "Give me the child." said the man in a low guttural voice. The wiseone handed Arran to the man, though her hands were trembling. She stepped back from the man. Gasps emanated from the villagers. Their wiseone had given up the child of bad luck to this stranger. Some of them just shrugged their shoulders. Let him deal with the bad luck, they thought. Then they saw the raptors.

The man frowned beneath his hood. Something was not right. "No resistance?", he asked. "I thought that you elves loved your children. Instead, you are just a bunch of selfish brutes. Why so quick to give one up?" Silence followed. He looked down at the child. "What have you done?" he yelled. "What have you done with this child!?" He raised a gauntleted hand towards the wiseone. "Faren!" he shouted. The wiseone died, being cut in different places all over her body. "Have at 'em boys!" he yelled, and the raptors charged. Raptors began to turn into stone. Some became impaled on spikes of metal that suddenly sprang out of the ground, or spears that flew off of nearby trees. Other raptors joined the fight. They defended the elves. Some black raptors rapidly decomposed. Others became encased by vines and roots that came from the trees.

The elves prayed to Skrior, the god of Trionor, for strength. Every time an elf got wounded by a black raptor, a blackness overcame them and their eyes turned completely black. Then, they turned on their fellow elves. Slowly, the elves were dying. The Shadowmagic was too strong.

Reviews

[S. von Glaubitz]

What an awesome opening! This world sounds pretty fascinating and uber-fantasy, which I’m very excited about.

The first section, before the first scene switch, puts in mind of the opening of the Lion King, with all the various kinds of creatures coming to a birth ceremony. If it’s appropriate, I would say you have the freedom to play up this whole opening, be a little indulgent in your language, make it epic.

“Moonless” is unnecessary in the first sentence. I nitpick because first sentences need to be awesome. Something like “The stars shone brightly over the Mountains of Faire, as the darkened moon would not outshine them this night.”

I recommend cutting everything from “The Dragonsouled people...” to the end of that first paragraph. The story will reveal all this information. It takes a lot of practice to figure out how to take care of the world-building without interrupting the flow of the story. You don’t want to overload the reader with information or make it come off sounding like a lecture.

Love all the different kinds of dragons. You describe each of them excellently, especially in the details you give to Swiftclaw. Again, though, you don’t need all the backstory on him. Maybe add more about his appearance and manner, removing everything from “He had the job…” to “Thus, they needed a Watcher.”

Same treatment for the elves. Take out any explanation about who the Terin-vraeo are and just show me the scene of the child being born. I’m sure the rest of the story will reveal a lot of this information naturally.

I really like how you switch between scenes to emphasize the connection between the two children. It’s especially effective when Roknier is accepted but Arran isn’t.

Maybe slow the pace down a little bit once the man in black comes onto the scene. You have the opportunity to increase a little of the tension between the elves and this mysterious person (do they know who he is? Is coming for their children something he does often?), and also playing up the death of the wiseone and showing a little more of the battle. I was a little confused by the different types of raptors fighting on either side and where the magic that killed them was coming from.

Overall, excellent job! You may be a new writer, but you’ve got some great natural talent! I can also feel your love of this story and subject matter coming through in your writing, which is so important for getting through to readers. Well done!

[David Jae]

This is good. Your world is rich and your protagonists have a depth of sorrow that makes them compelling. There is a little too much exposition at the start, where you are explaining your backstory, though. It would be better to cover this through dialogue or something like a scroll written by a loremaster.

Overall, an enjoyable story. Good job.