Remembrances

"Nobody notices when we leave. I mean, the moment when we really choose to go. At best you might feel a whisper, or the wave of a whisper, undulating down...I was here for a moment. And then I was gone. I wish you all a long and happy life." ~ The Lovely Bones

And here I lie in an all consuming black,

Melancholia climbing my constricted throat,

A slimy snail crawls, twisting those vocal cords,

Their quietness shouting in a place remote.

The fingers twists in so many knots,

Once held in a warm palm across a busy street,

But now they close upon thin air,

Their every try now met with defeat.

Lazy afternoons spent on the shores of green puddles,

And the tiny waves breaking at the two pairs of bare ankles,

Innocence had been rubbed off the naked shingles,

The trees had eavesdropped on their cackle and babble.

And many a wistful seas have dried up since,

Hundred sad songs has been sung,

A thousand lines written and scratched,

It ends all before it begun.

That unfinished story had never been written,

The stolen repartee was never told,

Those fingers had never grasped a warmer hand,

The shingle lay unblemished and cold.

Every thought gone in vitriolic vapors,

Memories coruscate in a concoction of haze,

The colors and sparkles on the exterior,

A veneer concealing the burning blaze.

Still there is something that is left in there,

A lingering smile and ripples of laughter,

The watery eyes have shimmered its way,

Even though the miles have taken you farther.

And I know these miles will never be traveled,

The walls too thick to bore through,

But I wish you would know that deep inside,

There dwell bits of forever you.

It has been years... and you have been an inspiration. Thank you for everything. It truly has been a wonderful life.

Author's Note

wrote after a long time..... hope you people like it

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The old memories become sweeter with time added in a long life. The heartache become good times and sweet kisses remembered. I like the story in the poem. Some people can effect out life forever. A very good ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

For some reason, this nearly brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written. I really loved this write.

~Anna Rose

[An owl on the moon]

So much was gleaned from your words... the quote from The Lovely Bones... stunning and stark... your note about inspiration and life's gifts... your poetry that transports us over time and space... and deep within as well. A magnificent dedication to one who is forever inside you.

[Hayley]

Wow, your rhyme scheme is fantastic! It's not too often one can keep with a rhyme without making them sound forced to fit.
Writing about this certain topic isn't too easy either, but I believe you were successful :) This poem has a tone that I strive to replicate, but always end up never being satisfied (though you can consider me a perfectionist). That tone is calm and accepting, yet has strong, deep, and somewhat dark undertones for the unknown compared to the bitter reality.
Also, I thought it was interesting how you incorporated the words "shimmered" and "sparkles" into such a philosophical and thoughtful poem. It kind of contradicts the reality of "leaving" into something more romanticized.
Each stanza was really a masterpiece. You are a true poet!

[Emily Rae]

You have decided to write about an experience that I have yet to read by another author, quite courageous and thoughtful. You've successfully captured the ambivalence associated with "leaving."
The last line is by far my favorite,
"There dwell bits of forever you."
That line brought tears to my eyes.

[Demi Rose]

i like it a lot.

[Amila Jay]

yeah it was great, excellent write:-)

[BlueDreams]

Liked your craft very much.. A Great write ..