This is a dark, evil write I came up with. ( I honestly don't know what made me write this. I'm a fairly happy person). It's about a mother who suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Split personality (though I am not sure about the categorization). She simultaneously goes though different conversations in her head ( the reason I have used different fonts to indicate the different entities she converses to) which eventually reveals the heinous crime she commits being a mother.
Your views will be appreciated :)
I am adding an explanation of certain symbolism, imagery and verses I have used in this poem. ( I didn't originally intend to, but I'm doing so in case you found this difficult to interpret)
"THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT" : This is a verse from the bible. This means that you are content with what the Lord has given you. This verse is often recited at funerals and cremation.
BELLADONNA POTION: Belladonna is a plant which has both medicinal and poisonous properties. It has purple or amethyst colored flowers. The foliage and the berries of the plant are extremely poisonous and can be used to make deadly poisons.
CHERUBS: They are sort of baby or toddler angels. You often find their engravings on children graves.
GOLLIWOG: ( I'm including this explanation after some feedback from my readers) A golliwog was a black character you would find in children's books by English authors. It was also commercially produced as dolls. It had had run into some racism issues. However I use it in my poem simply as a connotation for a toy. There's nothing more to it.
I have included these explanations for a better understanding of this piece (in case you didn't know what they meant). These are some of the key elements that weave the plot of this piece and finally makes the story evolve. I'm not revealing the plot.. but all I can say is that if this would have been written as a story, it would be a murder-mystery. Hope this helps.. Enjoy the read and please let me know if you liked it.. :)
My Review
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It's rather creepy. I feel like I can hear a tinkling chime of a music box playing, if you know what I mean...
I did find this a bit hard to understand, though I got the references that were explained in the Author's Note... it was, I don't know the disjointedness... maybe that is what left me a bit mystified. There was nothing specific that confused me...
But I don't think that'll bother you, as it adds to the creepy quality and I believe that you acomplished what you set out to do.
Thank you for the review.... Yes I wanted it to be a bit under the wraps...
I don't believe I'.. read moreThank you for the review.... Yes I wanted it to be a bit under the wraps...
I don't believe I'm doing this but I will leave you a clue here...
Read them sequentially...
Mother -> Graham (her son) -> mud, black coats, funeral speeches (the setting) -> toys, books, flowers (parting gifts)->(**flash-back) belladonna (poison)->cranberry juice( the spiked drink) -> cherubs( tombstone -the scene closes)-> Martha (her next victim)..
Now what do you make out of this? can't say any more ;) :D
12 Years Ago
Nah, I got it... sort of. I am not very good at explaining where I was confused. This happens to me .. read moreNah, I got it... sort of. I am not very good at explaining where I was confused. This happens to me all of the time and it always turns out that I wasn't really confused, lol, maybe I use the wrong word? I get the disturbed mother thinking of things for the son that she killed.
I'd agree with your own description, dark indeed. I loved the sinister thread weaving through all the utter insanity - it's quite chilling and quite mad.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you so much! I am glad you liked it... I have added a few explanations to my author's note.. Y.. read moreThank you so much! I am glad you liked it... I have added a few explanations to my author's note.. You can check out if you like :)
Ahh ! ok I get it now! Trust me, if hadn't put that note at the end, I'd have probably thought that you have gone crazy !!
But now I get it.
Ok, so the review then... very, no...no... in fact, HIGHLY ENTERTAINING and ENGROSSING
It would make a great story maybe. I like the change of the fonts and the way it changes its course abruptly. Suits the theme well !!
Great job !!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you Shreyas... You are right.. I added that author's note after my sister recommended it when .. read moreThank you Shreyas... You are right.. I added that author's note after my sister recommended it when she read the poem... I intentionally wanted to keep things under the wraps so portray the scheming, deceitful nature of the woman.. I have elaborated on the author's note... you can check it out :)
Well the poem is well written, but it is hard to imagine a mother committing 'heinous' crimes on her own child, and yes I've heard of infanticide and foeticide and what not, a grown child with fully capable senses. No, it just doesn't suggest to my mind, others may have different views however.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thanks Subham for the review...I know this may be a bit confusing to read.. if you like you can chec.. read moreThanks Subham for the review...I know this may be a bit confusing to read.. if you like you can check out the author's note; i have added some explanations of the connotations i have used that may help you read this.
Hello! I am Pratik Mukherjee from Calcutta, India - the city of Mother Teresa and the famous poet Tagore.
My pen name is Aaran, a variant of the word 'Aran' and derived from the Aran Islands, a gro.. more..