This is a dark, evil write I came up with. ( I honestly don't know what made me write this. I'm a fairly happy person). It's about a mother who suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Split personality (though I am not sure about the categorization). She simultaneously goes though different conversations in her head ( the reason I have used different fonts to indicate the different entities she converses to) which eventually reveals the heinous crime she commits being a mother.
Your views will be appreciated :)
I am adding an explanation of certain symbolism, imagery and verses I have used in this poem. ( I didn't originally intend to, but I'm doing so in case you found this difficult to interpret)
"THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT" : This is a verse from the bible. This means that you are content with what the Lord has given you. This verse is often recited at funerals and cremation.
BELLADONNA POTION: Belladonna is a plant which has both medicinal and poisonous properties. It has purple or amethyst colored flowers. The foliage and the berries of the plant are extremely poisonous and can be used to make deadly poisons.
CHERUBS: They are sort of baby or toddler angels. You often find their engravings on children graves.
GOLLIWOG: ( I'm including this explanation after some feedback from my readers) A golliwog was a black character you would find in children's books by English authors. It was also commercially produced as dolls. It had had run into some racism issues. However I use it in my poem simply as a connotation for a toy. There's nothing more to it.
I have included these explanations for a better understanding of this piece (in case you didn't know what they meant). These are some of the key elements that weave the plot of this piece and finally makes the story evolve. I'm not revealing the plot.. but all I can say is that if this would have been written as a story, it would be a murder-mystery. Hope this helps.. Enjoy the read and please let me know if you liked it.. :)
My Review
Would you like to review this Poem? Login | Register
It's rather creepy. I feel like I can hear a tinkling chime of a music box playing, if you know what I mean...
I did find this a bit hard to understand, though I got the references that were explained in the Author's Note... it was, I don't know the disjointedness... maybe that is what left me a bit mystified. There was nothing specific that confused me...
But I don't think that'll bother you, as it adds to the creepy quality and I believe that you acomplished what you set out to do.
Thank you for the review.... Yes I wanted it to be a bit under the wraps...
I don't believe I'.. read moreThank you for the review.... Yes I wanted it to be a bit under the wraps...
I don't believe I'm doing this but I will leave you a clue here...
Read them sequentially...
Mother -> Graham (her son) -> mud, black coats, funeral speeches (the setting) -> toys, books, flowers (parting gifts)->(**flash-back) belladonna (poison)->cranberry juice( the spiked drink) -> cherubs( tombstone -the scene closes)-> Martha (her next victim)..
Now what do you make out of this? can't say any more ;) :D
12 Years Ago
Nah, I got it... sort of. I am not very good at explaining where I was confused. This happens to me .. read moreNah, I got it... sort of. I am not very good at explaining where I was confused. This happens to me all of the time and it always turns out that I wasn't really confused, lol, maybe I use the wrong word? I get the disturbed mother thinking of things for the son that she killed.
I really liked this, man. I appreciate the layers, and although it is a little work, I think it's worth it. There is sort a hysterical evil--a laughing madness to this, and I pictured many different smiles while reading. Well done.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thanks Steven... Even i felt that when I was writing it.... I'm glad you liked it :)
Ah, an ingenious plot. And I am partial to using different font to create artistic distiction, you do this to very good effect. A mind twisting write.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thanks Diego.... This is also the first time I am using different fonts for a piece. i used it becau.. read moreThanks Diego.... This is also the first time I am using different fonts for a piece. i used it because I felt it highlighted the different conversations of this woman.... Thanks ice again.. :)
i liked it much...and i followed it well enuff...but lay off the smoking pot and reading james joyce 'ulysses' at the same thyme...it'll make u come up with crazy stuff like this each and every thyme ;)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Haha ! Thank you.. I'm glad you liked it... But I wasn't doing either of them the time I wrote this .. read moreHaha ! Thank you.. I'm glad you liked it... But I wasn't doing either of them the time I wrote this ;)
i didn't need all of the explanations you provided but they are indicative of a consciencious and devoted writer. the one you didn't provide which will stump most Americans is "golliwog". having been born on British soil i know it is a playful black character first found on marmalade jars and then as dolls. that would never fly in America, our black population would find it offensive. your writing in this piece is true art and is extremely well crafted and eloquent. your writing is so engaging and artful. it is a pleasure to read.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you sir! I put these explanations in case people could not grasp about the setting and the plo.. read moreThank you sir! I put these explanations in case people could not grasp about the setting and the plot ( its actually about a crazy mother who attends the funeral of her child whom she actually killed!)... But I am glad you interpreted it easily... I didn't add anything about the golliwog because I thought it was redundant to the plot of the story... it could have been any other toy for that matter... But I included it because I was fascinated by them ever since I read about them in children books written by English authors... I found that they had stirred a racism issue until recently... ( But my intention was solely to use it in connotation of a toy )... But I will edit my note to include that explanation as you suggest... Thanks once again for the insightful review.. :)
You have a very unique style, I like it a lot. This was dark but I liked that, its perfect that way. When I started reading I didn't expect it to go where it did and that was a nice surprise. It's good to keep people on their toes. Wonderful work!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you Mia for the wonderful review,, I am glad you liked it :) I have elaborated on my author's .. read moreThank you Mia for the wonderful review,, I am glad you liked it :) I have elaborated on my author's note... That might help you interpret this further in case you found it confusing..
12 Years Ago
I see so, thanks..it does shed more light on the poem, thank you :)
And you're very welcome!
this is fairly interesting, and i see what your doing, but i dont think this should be a poem, this looks more like an idea to me, try to make it into a short story next time? longer and more details
over al though i must say i like it
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you for the review... Yes I could have written a story... but that would have been another mur.. read moreThank you for the review... Yes I could have written a story... but that would have been another murder-mystery fiction... I wanted to say it through a poem, keeping certain things under wraps....I have added few explanations to my author's note... that might help clear few things in case you found the read confusing :)
I enjoyed this tale. I expected something different. I like the story and the good description in the tale. Nice visions create by your statements. The statements were alive and the poem was fun to read. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you so much Coyote... you always have the best things to say about my poems.. You can check ou.. read moreThank you so much Coyote... you always have the best things to say about my poems.. You can check out my author's note if you like.. I further elaborated it.. :)
This is so interesting. It's very unique and I love how you wrote it. Great idea, I must say. Lovely job. :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you dear.. :) If you found it a bit confusing you can check out my author's note if you like.... read moreThank you dear.. :) If you found it a bit confusing you can check out my author's note if you like.. I added a few explanations that might help you interpret it
Hello! I am Pratik Mukherjee from Calcutta, India - the city of Mother Teresa and the famous poet Tagore.
My pen name is Aaran, a variant of the word 'Aran' and derived from the Aran Islands, a gro.. more..