This is a dark, evil write I came up with. ( I honestly don't know what made me write this. I'm a fairly happy person). It's about a mother who suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Split personality (though I am not sure about the categorization). She simultaneously goes though different conversations in her head ( the reason I have used different fonts to indicate the different entities she converses to) which eventually reveals the heinous crime she commits being a mother.
Your views will be appreciated :)
I am adding an explanation of certain symbolism, imagery and verses I have used in this poem. ( I didn't originally intend to, but I'm doing so in case you found this difficult to interpret)
"THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT" : This is a verse from the bible. This means that you are content with what the Lord has given you. This verse is often recited at funerals and cremation.
BELLADONNA POTION: Belladonna is a plant which has both medicinal and poisonous properties. It has purple or amethyst colored flowers. The foliage and the berries of the plant are extremely poisonous and can be used to make deadly poisons.
CHERUBS: They are sort of baby or toddler angels. You often find their engravings on children graves.
GOLLIWOG: ( I'm including this explanation after some feedback from my readers) A golliwog was a black character you would find in children's books by English authors. It was also commercially produced as dolls. It had had run into some racism issues. However I use it in my poem simply as a connotation for a toy. There's nothing more to it.
I have included these explanations for a better understanding of this piece (in case you didn't know what they meant). These are some of the key elements that weave the plot of this piece and finally makes the story evolve. I'm not revealing the plot.. but all I can say is that if this would have been written as a story, it would be a murder-mystery. Hope this helps.. Enjoy the read and please let me know if you liked it.. :)
My Review
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It's rather creepy. I feel like I can hear a tinkling chime of a music box playing, if you know what I mean...
I did find this a bit hard to understand, though I got the references that were explained in the Author's Note... it was, I don't know the disjointedness... maybe that is what left me a bit mystified. There was nothing specific that confused me...
But I don't think that'll bother you, as it adds to the creepy quality and I believe that you acomplished what you set out to do.
Thank you for the review.... Yes I wanted it to be a bit under the wraps...
I don't believe I'.. read moreThank you for the review.... Yes I wanted it to be a bit under the wraps...
I don't believe I'm doing this but I will leave you a clue here...
Read them sequentially...
Mother -> Graham (her son) -> mud, black coats, funeral speeches (the setting) -> toys, books, flowers (parting gifts)->(**flash-back) belladonna (poison)->cranberry juice( the spiked drink) -> cherubs( tombstone -the scene closes)-> Martha (her next victim)..
Now what do you make out of this? can't say any more ;) :D
12 Years Ago
Nah, I got it... sort of. I am not very good at explaining where I was confused. This happens to me .. read moreNah, I got it... sort of. I am not very good at explaining where I was confused. This happens to me all of the time and it always turns out that I wasn't really confused, lol, maybe I use the wrong word? I get the disturbed mother thinking of things for the son that she killed.
Poe would be intoxicated by this look behind the veil
Excellent
I don't know how long this could go on before the reader grew weary
but
I like what you did
do it some more
A very distinguished write. It digs deep into a dark personality and allows us to feel a part of the process thinking of a distraught personality. Great work. Love the structure..
Posted 12 Years Ago
A good poet, keeps things very mysterious, as you Aaran. You're brilliant in explaining the DID here.. oh my I felt each line. This has a intriguing old glory, with an evil wink, I floated in your lines. (not many can bring me too) it is brilliant how you can cameleon into the minds of your personages... Well done my sweet friend, another great write!
I liked your choice of words that presented a creepy, antique-soul theme. The poem read like a nineteen fourties lullabye. I liked, but I didn't get the Dissasociative Identity Disorder theme until you pointed it out. I understand that you probably don't want to just give it away outright, but I'd include a bit more that steers the reader in that direction. Maybe some revealing dialogue between the multiple "dissasociations, or personalities". I liked the poem regardless of its meaning, it had a haunting tone. On another note, Belladonna, what an interesting Toxin....women would use it, a drop in each eye, to dialate the pupils, because that was said to be more beautiful in a girl. I feel the same way watching a woman with her pupils dialated from the drug Ecstasy, an interesting parallel in the History of Toxins.
Thank you for the author's note- I'm pretty sure we all benefit from a little bit of explanation so we can truly appreciate what AMAZING talent you have!
I was not disappointed by this piece in the least. I love the darkness and I love your interpretation and story line in this well-crafted poem. Thank you for blowing my mind. You have become quite the poet :)
Most interesting... very creative indeed... and yes, it could be a page from a murder mystery... but there's no mystery... for the clue for the "who done it" is on the hands... unless that's a red herring! Thank you for an excellent read.
*bird*
Unique. And dark, yes. But still, a lovely poem all the same. Honestly, I feel it to be well structured. The author's note did help me out allot however XD. Still, I can't help but love this poem. Great work
Hello! I am Pratik Mukherjee from Calcutta, India - the city of Mother Teresa and the famous poet Tagore.
My pen name is Aaran, a variant of the word 'Aran' and derived from the Aran Islands, a gro.. more..