The Devils Daughter

The Devils Daughter

With a pretty smile, a body to make a train stop dead in its tracks,

With her skin so soft and her cleavage exposed, yet no one will ever know,

Until they taste her lustful lips,

Pride consumes you as she walks with you at your hip,

You must be grand to be able to with stand,

Until the envy sets in as she wanders another man,

Driven by your anger you dabble your fingers in that man’s life,

But there are so many, all sent to steal her from you,

In this greed you feel a thirst, the thirst for more,

Gluttony takes over he will orchestrate the dirty work,

As the madness pulls you closer, you no longer pray,

You have become a sloth to your church,

And have been missing for days,

As she runs her finger along your chest and you think of victory,

Until she sheds her skin,

A menacing smile takes her face,

Out of options, out of time, now come with us as you have died…

Realization that you have sinned sets in.

.

.

 .

Lust, Pride, Envy, Anger, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth

Author's Note

Let me know what you think! (Also I'm not religious but I tried to get the sins right)

Reviews

[IndigoChild]

very detailed i loved the mystery and the truth behind it all

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you! :)

[Boy of the red]

it is very good! i enjoyed it alot

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you! :)

[Kato Uchiha]

sins... i like sins...

[AWickedMoon]

Ha-ha! .:)

[minnie:)]

so many temptations and sins through the story, very good

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you Minnie. :)

[minnie:)]

no problem :p

[Dhaye]

Temptations always come along the way. It is our faith and dignity which will hold us on not to be drowned in sin.
Good job!

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you. :)

[ThomasJay]

Do you think it is possible for some one to get trapped in a spiral of sin and no what they are doing but just ether not have the strength or desire to stop?

[AWickedMoon]

If the devils daughter was involved probably. :p

[Rob Santana]

I really really like this piece!! The last line hits hard!! I love that line. To caught up with sinning, not realizing what you have done til only after you have completed your sin. but it's to late the damage is done. I know that all to well. Creative piece of work Wicked, helluva job. Always enjoy reading your work.

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you creeper I'm glad you enjoyed it, I enjoy your works and review as well. :)

[Jack Reaper]

oo the seven deadly sins all wrapped up in this great little story. ever since seeing the movie "seven" ive always enjoyed the concept. i think youve done a great job here.

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you Jack! I've never seen that movie is it a horror? Never really be a fan most are predictable and bore me. Ha-ha. :)

[Jack Reaper]

not horror really, more of a thriller. like a mystery novel.

[AWickedMoon]

Hmmmm.... Then I may have to rent it!

[Rogue]

"Your pride will consumes you as she walked with you at your hip"

You may wish to try:

"Your pride consumed you as she walks with you at your hip"
Or
You were consumed in pride as she walked with you at your hip"

The story you are telling here is a good one.
Thank you, I enjoyed it. :)

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you for pointing that out! And thank you for stopping by. :)

[Rogue]

You are welcome and you've reworded that line in a fashion that just adds to the flow of the piece. :)

[Nami Machae]

it is pretty good, but there are a lot of grammar errors and some of the phrasing just threw me off. "Pride will consumes you as she walked with out at your hip," for instance... Maybe take out the ' on "I'n your mournful anger....." too. other than that i really liked how you wrote it , especially the ending. Good Job :)

[AWickedMoon]

Fixed how do you like the updated version? Thanks for your help it is much appreciated! :)

[Nami Machae]

so much better!!