City Watcher

Wrote this for a contest.

She wore a hoodie and jeans with a pair of knee high black boots just as anyone would these days, and yet she was not just anyone.  As she walked along the edge she dared it to try and pull her over.  She felt the rain spatter slip off the roof’s edge into her face and smiled.  Looking out at all the miles of buildings until they became engulfed in white, she sat down on the wet ledge.  She peered down at the people below going about their night.  She looked at all the old building`s that had be put up when she first arrived, and to the new building that had erupted from the earth within the blink of an eye.  Suddenly she got up moving close to the edge.  “This is my city” she spoke softly as she gracefully dived off the edge disappearing in the mist half way down.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think!

Reviews

[Norma M Sutton]

I like it. I like the challenge of the short story contests :) Double check this sentence. I think you need a plural form of building in the first usage :)

"She looked at all the old building that had be put up when she first came here, and the new building that had erupted from the earth."

[AWickedMoon]

Thankyou! I enjoy a challange as well. :)

[Darkening Shadow]

I like it. It has a good level of challenging things.

[KAOlmsted]

A little editing, I think, and this would be a winner. Good job, Moon...

[AWickedMoon]

Thankyou :)

[KAOlmsted]

Always.

[Enigma]

Such an awesome use of words! I could see it playing in my mind! Very mysterious.

[AWickedMoon]

Thankyou thats what I was going for. :)

[Megara]

suspenseful and creates an element of mystery:)
BTW the 6th sentence you wrote been as be.

[AWickedMoon]

Ièm glad it did and thankyou. :)

[Monster ^.^]

Wow. It was short yet complete in its own. It was like I already knew the character with just few word! I even imagined it like a movie scene! Meaning: A W E S O M E :D

[AWickedMoon]

Thankyou! I was playing it out in a scene when I wrote it so it's funny you say its like a movie. Thankyou! I'm glad you liked it! XD

[Monster ^.^]

Hahaha! Which means you wrote it good! :D

[Secret Lullaby]

I loved this!!!!

[AWickedMoon]

Thankyou. :D

[scripted]

what i think... well i believe this write was very well writen. I thought you used your words wisely and thought this was well penned. Good job and thank you for sharing this piece with me, yours truely Danielle

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you for taking the time to read it. :)

[Wingless Fallen Angel]

This is super intriguing! Excellent.

[AWickedMoon]

Thankyou! :)

[Calibaster]

Wow, this is really good!! great job! :) :) :) ;)

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you!

[Calibaster]

your welcome